I shook my head. “Give me a second.” As usual, words failed me. How did I tell her that what I needed was a promise that she wouldn’t cut us out of her life? What I needed was a way to say it that didn’t scare her. I released her hands and traced the thin chain around her neck all the way to the scoop in the valley between her breasts. “Tell me what you want.”
Most men didn’t ask. I’d learned a long time ago that asking wasn’t a weakness. I’d spent enough time watching Callie to recognize she’d been around enough men who didn’t ask. Irefused to be one of them. She liked when Hawk took control. But she also melted when given permission to voice her wants.
Grinning up at me, she flicked my nipples with her fingertips. “You. That’s what I want.” She kissed the underside of my jaw. “Stop being so careful.”
“Every time we fuck doesn’t have to be a rough and tumble.” I swept her hair away from her face and kissed the tip of her nose. “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”
“First you don’t talk at all, and now, when you do, it’s like this.” She shook her head and blew out an exasperated breath. A quick look skimmed over my body and settled on my cock inches from her. “I want you inside me, Diesel. If I had all night, I’d suck your cock and ride your face in a full sixty nine.”
God I wanted that. I craved the feel of her on my face, the moans she’d make around my cock. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
“No.” She stood, her fingers skimming over my chest and around my waist. “When we do that, I want a bedroom. I want all night. I’m not in the place to handle that right now. So what I need, right now, is for you to take it all away. Make me forget this awful week and let me feel something good.”
But not for long. Not long enough to do all the things she wanted. Because she had other obligations, a child to take care of. I understood. “Turn around. Let Hawk and Colt see you.” I lifted her leg so her foot rested on the chair and walked around behind her. It took a little work, but I managed to guide my cock to her entrance and slid deep. Her groan rattled my chest, and she pressed her spine into my sternum.
I touched her everywhere I could reach. First her nipples, playing with one while pinching her clit, then rolling bothnipples between my thumb and forefingers while stroking her with my cock. The second groan came with a spasm across her stomach. “Deeper, Diesel. Yes. Like that. Keep doing that.”
I followed her instructions to the letter. Deeper. Harder. Faster. Until we were both slicked with sweat and our bodies slapped together with a deep clapping noise that joined our grunts and groans. I palmed her breasts and slammed the full weight of my cock into her, sending her up onto her toes. “Fuck.”
“Oh god. Do that again.”
Giving her everything she wanted, everything she asked for, had never been easier. When she fell apart with a cry, my name on her lips, I followed her over the edge, happy to have been given a chance to make things right.
Once the orgasm slowed, I kissed her shoulder and pulled her hips against mine. “I’m sorry I failed you.” My breath fluttered the hair around her ear. “I’m sorry I hesitated when you asked if you were a problem. You were not the problem, Callie. I was. I am.” I left it at that as I withdrew and turned her around to kiss her properly.
All those years and I’d been denied the chance to apologize. Not anymore.
21
CALLIE
I stopped pretending somewhere between Hawk’s hands and Diesel’s mouth. I’d told myself, and them, that this didn’t mean anything. I wanted that to be true. Wanted this to be nothing more than adrenaline looking for an exit, fear needing an outlet. All of that was probably true. Seven years of keeping my guard up, and they found the crack in my armor. Fear needed somewhere to go, and I’d been running on fumes for two days straight.
I’d been bracing for impact and this moment, this single night of releasing all that pent-up energy left me light on my feet and feeling better than I had in years.
I hadn’t forgotten how they made me feel, but I had pushed it to the back of my mind because losing it was never an option.
Hawk kept control just like always. Diesel watched me with that steadiness I’d tried to understand but still confused me at times. He was still steady, still deliberate with every movement. He paid attention. They all did.
Colt proved it every time he touched me. He remembered what I liked, what made me gasp and between all three of them, I didn’t stand a chance.
My body ached in all the right places, and when Colt took Diesel’s place between my legs, I wasn’t sure if I had one more orgasm in me.
Colt being Colt, proved I did. He murmured my name in my ear as he entered me with that consuming, reckless and devoted passion that had consumed me years ago.
They were familiar but my heart remained fully focused on the fact that Cody slept down the hall. That was the biggest difference. Even as I fell apart one last time in Colt’s arms, the stakes were different this time.
Cody mattered more than the time that had passed, the ledger, and the Hellhounds combined.
I rested my head in the crook of Colt’s neck and breathed him in. I’d missed this. All of this. I’d missed them more than I let myself realize. My heart drummed hard enough it whooshed in my ears. The compound settled around us with little creaks and groans from the old wood, sounds that I’d never stuck around long enough to find familiar.
Hawk and Diesel stood behind me and Colt, their bodies loose but ready for action at a moment’s notice. I’d never mastered that, but I needed to learn.
I pulled away from Colt and reached for my shirt. “This was great, but it doesn’t change anything.”
Colt shifted his weight to the side, bending to retrieve his pants.
Hawk and Diesel dressed in the semi-dark, the taut lines of their shoulders making the movements stiff and distracting.
