LILA MURPHY
It can’t get any worse though, right?
JULIANA THE DEMON HUNTRESS
Why must you tempt fate in this way? Immortal Fortiana simply cannot resist.
Vampire Falls. Season four, episode eleven – “Come Out”
I didn’t sleep last night. I spent half the night waiting for Roxy to come in (she didn’t, but she did message to say she was fine – no kiss), and half replaying our stomach-churning argument. Plus, another quarter thinking about dancing with Charlie. Yes, I know that doesn’t add up to a whole thing, but I don’t really feel like a whole thing right now. Fractions are the least of my worries.
I haven’t seen Roxy this morning, and I don’t know what I’d do if I did. I suspect she’s lying low because she knows that, and she knows I’ll be processing. We fell out once because of Bud Leroy’s new love interest (the casting and the storyline wasall wrong,especially so soon after they killed off Kayon O’Keefe. Bud and Kayon is my, and most of the fandom’s, OTP) and I didn’t speak to her for two days. Roxy refers to such fallouts as ‘Eliza’sstages of stubborn ass-ness’ and I can’t disagree.
But we’ve never argued like this before. Like, not ever. It makes my tummy hurt when I think about what she said, but I’ve realised my leaning on her had become an unspoken expectation. I thought we sort of slotted together, but maybe it’s become a bit one-sided. I don’t know. I’m just trying not to thinkabout it – the argument, her finding a replacement for me at uni. It’s so strange without her brushing breakfast crumbs off me or pointing out my wardrobe malfunctions, but I need to get used it.
“Remember, guys: a warrior is always ready with their weapon.”
I sigh and attempt a transition from slumped to ready, as Chip Rodrigo,Vampire Fall’s stunt co-ordinator and ex-Marine, circles us, tweaking our weapon positions or correcting our stance. I contemplated going back to bed after breakfast, but I’d already paid for the weapons workshop, and actually, holding a double-bladed Megna sword replica might be what I need in my life right now.
The workshop is in the same room as the photos yesterday. There’s plenty of floorspace for footwork, and high ceilings for swinging swords around. Stewards hurry in through the door on one side and out the other and attendees wander through, watching Chip demonstrate the moves because he’s a pro, and also, an absolute hulking mass of muscle, protein and, from the veins on his neck as thick as my pinkie, steroids.
“Hold your weapon, tight. It’s always wet during battle: either rain, or the blood of your enemies,” booms Chip.
Everyone in the group giggles with their partner, trying to hold a serious battle face as they brandish their swords. Everyone apart from me, because my true partner isn’t here. My stomach lurches. I bet she’s withher. Probably planning their wedding.
“Well, I’m not being a bridesmaid,” I grumble.
The two girls to my side exchange a look then step away. I forget I can’t say things out loud if Roxy’s not here, especially if I’m holding a weapon.
“First, guys, show your respect with a nod of the head, but don’t take your eyes from theirs,” says Chip, the overheadlighting making his bald head shine. “Good . . . er, you, with your hoodie on inside out. Where’s your partner?”
“I don’t have one. I’m alone. She left me.”
“Oh dear,” he says awkwardly, concerned I’m about to cry. Let’s not rule it out, Chip. “No problem: I’ll buddy up with you.”
Great – I’m partnered with the teacher. He claps me on the back, and I almost go flying. His hands are almost the size of large Domino’s pizzas. Maybe even family size.
I suck in some air and try to focus as Vivian sashays in, looking like a character from a fantasy computer game. Uh. Am I not safe anywhere? I look her up and down. Roxy’s always joked about how hot Vivian is but apart from that, what is there? It’s not like they have anything in common. Apart from being tall. And likingVampire Falls. Vivian seems pretty loyal to her friends, I guess, which Roxy is. Or was.
Next, of course – thanks, universe – Charlie Chamberlain follows Vivian into the room. My stomach lurches at the sight of him and I brace myself for Roxy appearing next. They’re like cockroaches; one appears and the rest soon follow. If cockroaches were blessed with perfect bone structure, flawless skin and glossy hair. But Roxy doesn’t walk in, so my shoulders relax maybe 0.04%. Chip steps back, assuming the ready position, his eyes shining with fury and intent.
“Remember, keep your eyes on your opponent’s weapon. Ready . . . one!”
Half the group step forwards, mimicking Chip’s move. I try to keep my eyes on him, but Charlie has caught up with Vivian and she’s turned round to him as moves in close to her.
“Two!”
I glance back and copy the next step, moving to the side and pulling the double-blade down to my side, then look back over at them.
Vivian folds her arms and blinks at Charlie like he’s divulgingsomething of great importance. I clench my fists around the sword as I watch them, their mouths set in serious lines. Vivian actually has a tiny line between her eyebrows. Charlie nods then looks around the room, his eyes stopping on me. Vivian looks over too, then puts her hand on his arm and leans in, whispering something.
I’m not a professional lip-reader but I know when someone’s saying my name.
“Three . . . AARGH!”
“What?” I say absent-mindedly, glaring at Vivian as I move back from the third position. Everyone’s looking at me now, some with their hands over their mouths. I turn back to Chip, who’s dropped his weapon and is clutching his nose, blinking down at me. “What happened?”
“You hit me in the nose!” he groans.
