“Itnevermattered to me what Bertie looked like. He was still my darling Bertie, and…and…” I had to get a grip of myself, “…when you tried to fix James’ hearing…” Another gulp. “…Bertie lost his hearing on his left side as part of his injuries. I wassobloody angry with you for daring to think James wasn’t perfect just as he was. As he is. But I still wanted you so much. Andthen…and then to learn you used to be the exact opposite of who I’ve been my whole life… It’s all been a bit much.” My emotions in tatters, I slumped against him and forced myself to breathe slowly. Fuck that nonsense about vampires not needing to breathe; going through the motions still worked well as a means of calming the mind as it ever had on my human body.
Trace held me even tighter. I could feel his arms trembling and I could tell he was crying from the occasional feather-light drip of a tear on the top of my head. I could hear James’ racing heartbeat clattering over the thrum of Trace’s pulse, but I had nothing right now to offer either of them in terms of comfort.
Eventually, the dry, broken heaving that passed for crying with my kind abated and I sat up, knuckling my eye sockets which burned without the ability to actually shed tears. “Ahh, fuck. Sorry about that.”
“You havenothingto apologise for, Edwin.Nothing.”Trace scrubbed at his own eyes. “I am so ashamed of the person I used to be. I promise you.” He took my face in his hands and inhaled a ragged gulp. “You have always been a much better person than I. No,” he interrupted when I opened my mouth to argue, “I don’t mean whatever deeds you may have done. I mean the fact you don’t judge and have apparently never judged someone by their physical attributes or lack of them. If you genuinely care for someone, they are always whole to you. That is worthy of admiration.”
“I’m not blind to it. I do see disability. It’s just not how I’d ever judge a person, you know?” I felt it was essential for James to hear that. I dropped my gaze to Trace’s shirt buttons, unable to bear the intensity of his molten honey eyes on me. I wasn’t even sure he was entirely right seeing as I mostly hung out with other vampires, and even the most bedraggled human got a supernatural makeover when they were turned — the mysterious force behind our transformations presumably realising a certainsomething in the looks department went a long way to negating the need for too much thrall — but it was certainly true the only tears I’d shed for Bertie were ones of compassion for his suffering. He’d still been the man I’d given my heart to, no matter his battered and scarred appearance. It simply hadn’t mattered to me. He was him, no matter what ‘defects’ he had. It was the same with James. His not-great hearing was merely something about him, like his pale blue eyes, his smattering of freckles, and his familiar Yorkshire gruffness when he spoke.
I shot James a quick look out of the side of my vision. He was almost vampire still, hanging on every word between Trace and me. I refocused on Trace.
“I don’t think I’m anything special. I just, well, I grew up in a poor neighbourhood. Nobody had much, and this was years before the National Health Service, mind. We looked after our own. If someone got sick, we did our best. We all knew the boy with the callipers or the pretty girl down the road with the curly hair who was learning impaired, and we kept an eye on them. Not that we had a label for their issues, but it just was. I suppose it shaped me.”
“Nah, that’s crap.” James rose and came to stand near us, behind the sofa. “I’m not saying you didn’t have some good folk around when you grew up, but…people are mean. They teach their kids to be mean. Kids can be fucking cruel. Not all of them, obviously, but you’re basically a decent bloke, Eddie. Don’t sell yourself short.”
“What he said.” Trace eyed me without blinking, then reached over to tuck a lock of my hair into place. “That’s better,” he said softly. “More you.” He pressed a kiss to my startled mouth, then beckoned James lower so he could offer him the same.
“You can forgive me then?” His tone was wary, as if he couldn’t quite believe I’d come back, let alone was willing to put the past behind me.
I sighed. “Course I do. It was a lifetime ago. If we’d all been there at the time, I might well have given you a thumping to teach you a lesson, then we’d have moved on. Let’s do the same now, without the thumping. You’re not that man any more. What you said shocked me, but it was more about me and Bertie than it ever was about you.” I gestured for James to come around the sofa and pulled him down into the tight space between Trace and me. “We need to think of something nice to do, as a threesome.”
James snorted. I raised my eyebrows at him. “Do tell.”
“Like it’s ever been an issue before, thinking about something to do. Your cock does most of your thinkin— Oh,” he broke off. “You actually meant something that doesn’t involve naked bodies, tissues, and lube, didn’t you?”
I groaned, feigning hurt. “I did, I’ll have you know. I don’t have a purely one-track mind.”
“Just mostly,” Trace quipped. The tension he’d been holding dropped from his shoulders and he smiled at me, something warm and hopeful. “I’ve been thinking. How about a trip somewhere?”
I wriggled backwards a bit so James had room to breathe. “Like where?”
“Well…Yorkshire perhaps? I think James might like to seek out his mother. Or, if he’s not ready for that, then how about the coast somewhere? We deserve a little holiday. It’s been quite some summer.”
“James?” I could hear his pulse pounding.
“How about both? Perhaps look up my mum, but have a seaside trip booked for after, in case it’s not a happy reunion.If we can afford it. I’m sorry, I don’t have enough savings to contribute much.”
“Baby,” I fixed him with a stern glare, “paying for things is my job. Your blood on tap has made me the happiest man alive, even before we became lovers. You could sit there and look pretty all day and I’d still be getting the bargain of the millennium.”
Trace chuckled. “That’ll be the day, when our James becomes a gentlemen of leisure. He’s a grafter, this one. And we love you for it, sweetheart.”
James went pink. “Shut up, fuck’s sake. Sappy pair.” He squirmed on my lap though, so I knew he was pleased.
I tweaked his ear. “Let’s get you a haircut first though, please?” His hands shot up defensively. “I can thrall any barber into ignoring your ears. And I’m not suggesting a short back and sides. Just a good trim and a thin out. You’re beginning to resemble Shaggy from Scooby Doo.”
Trace snorted. James gave me his narrowed-eyes look. “Dude, that’s just mean.”
I shrugged, unrepentant. “He’s a fun character, but you’re way hotter. I want to see your pretty face next time you fuck me into the mattress.Please,” I added, batting my lashes like the flirt I was.
“Fine! I give in. But good luck finding a barber open after sunset.” He smirked and got to his feet. “Now we’ve sorted out we’re all okay again, I want to get off. Can we all get naked?” He held up a hand. “Actually, no. I’ll keep my clothes on. You two can see who can get me off without touching my cock. Winner gets the next fuck. Game?”
I have no shame in admitting I used my vampire strength to hold Trace back from reaching the bedroom first. It was going to be a long, sticky night and I couldn’twait.
51
JAMES
Shipley wasa new town to me. It didn’t feel like home, but itsoundedrightin a way that London still didn’t. I’d not thought I’d miss the familiar vowels of Yorkshire, but even with my hearing not picking up every word, it was good to be back for a bit. Edwin found us a little flat to rent on the outskirts. Just one bed, but also a pull-out in the living room we fully intended to rumple for authenticity.
