“Have you been and got yourself a fit of the miseries?” I had a low tolerance for alcohol myself, and I could take it or leave it. Perhaps James was a depressive drunk.
He scoffed at me. “No. I’m not getting trollied when I don’t know half these people. I’ve stuck to the fruit punch. Charley was telling me Pavel makes it from a recipe Isher gave him. It’s mostly blueberries and meringue. ’Cept it’s not real meringue in case of vegans.” He rolled his eyes then grinned. “I’m all for vegans in principle, but I’m too fond of cheese to go there. Baxter is kinda ethical for all she’s a top-level hacker.” He clapped a hasty hand over his mouth. “Shit, I’m prob’ly not supposed to say that.”
My previous chuckle threatened to return as a belly laugh, but I didn’t think he’d appreciate that, so I bit my cheek and fixed a neutral expression on my face. “I’m on the Council. Baxter’s views about liberating excesses from billionaires and their ilk are well known.” I tried to sound casual. “We could look for Edwin together if you like.”
“All right.” He didn’t seem enthused that I’d offered, but by now I wanted to find Edwin to put a smile back on James’ face, so I headed downstairs with him, keeping up a cheerful banter about the various paintings hanging on the walls, some of which James informed me were Edwin’s; he recognised the signature.
We found him in the kitchen, along with Dalziel and an unopened bottle of red wine, the label of which Edwin appeared to have shredded. Both looked up as we entered, Dalziel with a warm smile and Edwin more hesitantly. His face was taut with the peculiar tension that suggested he’d been crying, which I knew was physically impossible for a vampire; his body language gave off the same vibes as someone dealing with the after-effects of a massive emotional outburst. There didn’t appear to be any hint of animosity between him and his sire, so I wondered what could have prompted his upset.
Still, it wasn’t my place to ask. I wasn’t sure enough of my place — if indeed I yet had one — in his life to enquire about anything that personal, which might have been stupid seeing as I’d had my hands on his cock, but a hook-up didn’t have to be meaningful.
So, because the weird atmosphere in my own head was giving me grief, I gave James a little push to stand in front of me and simply blurted out, “Your shadow seems to think he’s more of a burden than anything, and I quote, ‘he’, meaning you, Edwin, ‘could get blood from anyone’. D’you want to talk some sense into him because I’m not sure it will count if I say anything.”
“You fucking traitor!” James hissed at me, outrage replacing the apathy I’d got on the stairs. Edwin’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t speak, his gaze pinballing between the three of us.
I shrugged, unrepentant. “It needed to be said.” I turned my attention to Dalziel. “Do you think perhaps we should leave these two so Edwin can knock some sense into his shadowand friend?”
Dalziel patted my forearm as he stood. “On the contrary, Dempsey, I shall leave you all to talk. Edwin has plenty he should be sharing with the folk who really need to hear it,” his eyes narrowed on Edwin, but his lips twitched as they did so I didn’t think he was having a dig at him, “and not with his sire, enlightening as our conversations have been tonight.” He squeezed Edwin’s arm as he circled around him to reach the door back into the house, then bestowed what looked to be a genuine smile on a bemused James. “James, you have no need to fear that you are not already as essential to Edwin as the darkness, with or withoutyour no doubt estimable blood. Gentlemen, I shall instruct the others to give you some privacy for a while. These things are best spoken of while you are away from home. It gives you a chance to be honest without the familiar distracting you. Although, I suppose, Trace, you are unfortunately at somewhat of a disadvantage seeing as this is practically my progeny’s second home, but Eddie is a fair man when his head is on straight.”
He swept out of the room, pulling the door firmly closed behind him.
“What was that all about?” I sat down, and slid the wine over. I worked the cork loose, pouring a glass for myself and waggling the bottle at James with an upwards quirk of my brows. He shook his head, then finally also came to sit down, nearer Edwin than me, but eyeing us both like he’d rather be anywhere but in the kitchen.
Edwin bowed his head and shoved it into his hands with a grunt of frustration. “Dalziel is a meddling bitch and I want to strangle him with the sleeve of that fancy cardigan he’s wearing.” His head dropped to the kitchen table. “How does he do it? How does he manage to push every single one of my buttons and still end up being right, every damn time? Gah!”
I caught James’ mystified expression and held my hands up in an equally baffled silent reply. I signed he should try to get through to his master. Shadows had a strong bond with their vampires, and although James hadn’t been with Edwin long, it was obvious the pair of them were already close.
James looked unsure. “Go on,”I mouthed.
“Uh, Edwin? Can we help?”
No response.
“I know you’re a badass vampire with a serious height advantage over Dalziel, but, uh,” he cracked his knuckles, gunshot loud in the quiet room, “I might know someone who could shank him if you’re desperate.”
I snorted, the offer being so unexpected that a disbelieving laugh broke free before I could check it. Edwin raised his head slowly, then turned and stared at James with what looked very much like adoration in his blue eyes. He reached out and stroked a thumb down James’ cheek, as tenderly and slowly as his smile broke the twisted curl of his lips.
“James, love, did I really hear my sweet shadow, my frail human, say he’d find a hitman to teach my sire a lesson, or am I finally losing the plot? Because that is hands down the nicest thing anyone has ever offered to do for me.” He sniggered. “Also the most suicidal, but let’s not get picky at a time like this.” He sat up straighter and tugged James’ chair closer so he could cradle the boy’s face in his hands. “I fucking adore you, darling.” He brought their heads together. “That’s partly what I was talking to Dalziel about.”
A sharpened dagger straight to the chest wouldn’t have hurt any more. I’d seen it, of course, the way the pair of them circled each other like ships around a lighthouse, reflecting the light back on the other. I’d been lucky to share even a tiny morsel of the passion I knew was simmering under the surface with them both, for that one magical moment. I was always good for a funfuck, but beautiful folks like Edwin and James didn’t want the ugly guy for more than a quick shag. Being good in bed wasn’t enough, and seeing as I’d been so wiped out I’d not had a chance to show them Iwasa good fuck, I was out of luck. It stung, but I should have been used to it by now. Mostly I was, but somehow a tiny part of my brain had allowed myself to dream.
“Trace.”Edwin’s tone was laced with impatience. I blinked at him. “Where did you go? I was baring my soul and you vanished like you’d left your body.”
I forced a smile. “I was having a moment. Don’t mind me.” I swallowed down the knot of envy lodged in my throat and managed to sound sincere as I added, “I want you to be happy, both of you. It looks as though you’re on the way to sorting it out. James, you really don’t have to doubt how Edwin feels. It’s obvious he’s crazy about you. No more of that ‘I’m only useful as a walking blood bag’ nonsense from you, all right?”
James, a flush riding his cheekbones, gave me a brief nod, but seemed to be waiting for Edwin to say something. After a pause, Edwin jerked his chin at me. “You’re too far away over there. Park your bum here, next to me.”
I dutifully did as he requested, completely blank as to what could be on his mind. He tutted and grabbed my hand, pulling it in front of him palm down, then placing one of James’ on top of it. He placed his own right hand on top of the pile, then looked at me, his expression hopeful.
“Did you misseverythingI said just now? Both of us want you in this with us, Trace. James isn’t ready for anything more than we’ve already done physically, and I won’t push him, ever. Even if this is as far as he ever wants to go with sex, I want him in my life as more than my shadow. However, I can’t stop thinking about you. I felt bad about that, like I was being a selfish tart who was only thinking with his dick. Except, I realised after talking with the fucking smart-arse that is my sire, that we don’t have tobe tied to only one person. And Iknewthat, academically, but up here,” he tapped his forehead with his finger, “I’d lost sight of the possibilities. I’m a gay man in the twenty-first century. I’m also a vampire. I don’t have to adhere to societal norms from fifty years ago. It’s not like I didn’t take immense pleasure in flouting the law as often as I could back before I was turned, when I could have been imprisoned for being gay. Why should I suddenly be so fuckingpedestriannow?” His tone was full of fire and passion, with scorn dripping off the word ‘pedestrian’ as if the mere thought offended him.
I gaped at him, frantically parsing the meaning behind his unexpected word vomit. “You want meandJames? And James, you want meandEdwin?” I had to say it out loud in the hope it would sink in.
Both men gave me a firm nod.
“I don’t know what to say.”I want to grab this with both hands.“I mean, yes, obviously I want more than what we’ve done so far, but suppose you decide it’s not what you want and I’m living on your land and our lives are all interconnected. Will that be a problem?”
Edwin’s shrug was less than reassuring, but James pulled his hand free, then forcibly laced Edwin’s fingers with mine. “Marriages break up and people move away and sell up, or find a way to untangle the threads and live separate lives. Don’t be so negative, either of you. If anything, Eddie should be the one who’s worried, because he’s taking a chance on not one but two mortals. Which means, logically, at some point he’ll be?—”
