“Does he want a job? He doesn’t sound very independent at the moment.”
“What, like Pavel is?” I sneered. “Surprised he doesn’t wear a collar with a bell on it so everyone can see how devoted he is to you. I bet that would set the local tongues wagging if he did. A fancy black leather collar under his buttoned-up shirts as he drops off the dry-cleaning. Can you imagine?”
I took a step back at the murderous glint in my maker’s eyes at that one. Whoops.
“We arenottalking about Pavel,” he pointed out, acid lacing his words. A wiser man than me might have taken note and apologised. But I’ve never been overly blessed with wisdom when it comes to Dalziel pushing my buttons.
“You bet we’re not,” I countered, feeling a tightness in my chest that I ignored as I ploughed on, “because heaven forbid anyone’s ever allowed to voice an opinion about your weird-as-fuck relationship with him. No wonder you don’t hang onto a date for long; they don’t want to share with His Creepiness.” That was a truly low blow, because although I did think Pavel was a bit weird, he’d never been anything but kind and generous to me, as well as unfailingly polite.
Dalziel’s eyes glowed with rage and thrall. “You will never again pass judgement on my relationship with Pavel, or cast aspersions about it.Do. You. Understand?”
I swallowed, feeling his power seep into my bones, then nodded. “Understood.” The ‘sorry’ I should have added stuck in my throat. “Look, James is happy enough, and I’m working on him being healthy too, in every sense. He doesn’t have to rush out and find paid work. I’ve literally employed him so I can feed from him. What are you getting at, Dalziel?”
“That’s just it. He’s imprinted on you like an orphan duckling. One mouthful of your blood, all his aches and pains clear up, and now he’s your devoted slave. It’snotexactly healthy, is it? This is you we’re talking about, Eddie.” His tone softened. “You’ve not got the steadiest reputation. Well, except for the quality of your art.”
“And there I thought you were going to say the tightness of my arse,” I snarled. Dalziel wasn’t entirely wrong though, which made me snippy. “Bit fucking unfair to assume I can’t change,sire.” I practically growled the honorific, and by the sudden flaring of his nostrils, he knew it for the slight it was. “If you recall,” I continued tartly, “I imprinted on you too, back in the day. In fact, I believe that was the exact word you used. You used the duckling analogy too then. Pardon me for being a fucking lost soul a century ago!”
I was winding all the way up now, ignoring the glint in Dalziel’s eyes that usually foretold of a storm ahead I’d prefer to avoid. “I’d spent four years up to my tits in mud, was shell-shocked out of my mind,and then,both my dear old mum and the bloke I loved died of the fucking influenza.Afterthe war we’d survived, when I’d only just begun to allow myself to dream of the possibility of a future. Christ, man, you had to dig me out of a snowdrift and practically thaw me out before you turned me. I was hallucinating so badly, I thought you were an angel.” A ragged sob tore from my throat, the memories so vivid, my emotions caught me on the hop. I scrubbed a hand across my eyes, unable to meet his gaze. “Fuck’s sake, the first time you bit me, I orgasmed. When you fucked me, I nearly lost my damn mind. Of course I imprinted on you, you sanctimonious prick. Your stupid fangs and big cock gave me a reason to go on. I didn’t stay madly in love with you, did I though? You didn’t coerce me to stay with you.” I had to give him that; Dalziel wasa bossy bastard and a roaring snob at times, but he genuinely wanted what was best for me. Always had.
I flung myself into the chair behind me and thrust my head into my hands, tearing randomly at my hair. “I’m not forcing him to do anything, Dalziel. I bend over fucking backwards to make sure he’s happy here and that he wants to stay. I’m always asking him if he’s sure he made the right decision.” Another sob got stuck as it tried to break free. “It’ll fucking break me if he ever says he wants to leave, but I’d never stop him. Hell, I’d help him pack and call him a taxi myself if he said he wanted to go.” My chest ached as I finally raised my head, realisation smacking me in the face. “Oh fucking, bollocking hell, I think I’m in love with him.”
“Bloody hell, man, steady on.” Dalziel dropped to the rug in front of me and rested his hands on my knees. “I was merely going to ask if you’d considered all the angles of taking in a shadow. I’m not the enemy, Eddie. Iwantyouto be happy. I want that for James too, which is why as your sire, I have to check in. It’s as much for you as it is for him.” He reached up to push my tangled hair off my forehead. “That was a lot offucks,even for you. Got yourself in quite the lather there, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” I muttered sullenly, not yet able to reconcile Dalziel in this position with the way I’d been shouting at him. “God, I must really love him. You’re on your knees in front of me and I’m not begging you to suck my cock. Can’t imagine you’ll ever kneel for me again.”
He snorted, not unkindly. “Glaikit boy. You don’t want me anyway.”
“No, I don’t,” I huffed, my declaration over my love for James not quite in sync with everything else I was feeling right then. “I think I’m broken. Pretty much the only action I’ve seen for weeks is my own hand and my favourite dildo, and I’m surprisingly okay about it.”
“TMI, thank you so much.” Dalziel tried to sound stern, but it was no use, I could see his lips quirk at the corners. “Now we’ve satisfied that James is content with his new life, perhaps you should pour yourself a glass of that wine you like so much and explain how Trace Dempsey fits into your East End love nest.” He arched an eyebrow. “I’ve got all night.”
I groaned and got to my feet. “Can I get away with ‘he’s an unexpected item in the bagging aisle’ and leave it at that?”
Dalziel’s bark of laughter was a surprise. “No, you can’t. Especially because now I’m truly fascinated at how much James has changed your life. That is not an expression you’d even heard three months ago, am I correct?” He poked me to move. “C’mon, Marsh. You’ve spent a century being flippant and talking about dick. You can spare me an hour to speak of something that matters to you.”
17
TRACE
“He tooka bottle of Scotch and headed downstairs. I don’t know where he went.”
James’ eyes were troubled as I answered him. I tried to sound more reassuring. “He might have gone for a smoke. Baxter seems like she might get cranky about polluting human lungs with tobacco. She’s quite thoughtful like that for a vampire.”
“A whole bottle? How do you know he went downstairs?”
I chuckled. “Because I’d gone for a leak and saw him heading down the staircase, all right? And no, not a whole bottle, although he can’t get drunk, so would it matter if he had?” I didn’t mention I was fairly sure the bottle had been full before Edwin had opened it initially. “What’s up, James? Is it too loud for you in here?” I’d done some reading up and discovered that folks with hearing loss could also be oversensitive to noise.
He all but disappeared inside his T-shirt. “I dunno. I just feel…” He scowled up at me. “I feel like something’s bothering him and he’s not telling me. I don’t know why I think that, but I do. I know I’m being stupid, but?—”
“Hey, stop. There’s nothing wrong with intuition. You’re worried about hi?—”
“I’m not worried!”
“All right, concerned?” He gave an affirmative jerk of his chin. “Then what’s the worst that can happen if you find him and ask him? He’ll either be your typical bloke who won’t discuss his feelings so he’ll cover it with a shitty lie, or knowing Edwin, crack a joke. Right?” James nodded, some of the tension in his shoulders lessening as I spoke. “But then he’ll know you cared enough to ask. So that will be a plus. Also right?”
“Guess so. But…” He worried the hem of his T-shirt, one finger twisting and untwisting the fabric. “He’ll think I’m pathetic, won’t he?” He grunted then, kicking at his shoe with the toe of the other foot. “I am pathetic. I don’tdoanything except feed him. He could get that from anyone.”
I shot him a sharp glance and herded him from the ballroom into the corridor outside where it was quieter, directing him away from the doorway.
