I also learned that the National Health Service’s attempts to fit me with hearing aids had gone disastrously. For reasons no one could explain, the devices caused me intense pain which left me screaming and sobbing. Eventually, there’d been a note on my file that I was considered an anomaly and to accept that there were limitations to the understanding of the doctors at the time. Any adaptations to my hearing loss had to come from other people giving me time to process and by being proactive in facilitating this by speaking clearly, et cetera. I realised while she was explaining that of course they hadn’t helped; hearing aids had batteries which were electrical. Apparently, I did have some issues with technology.
We left after exchanging phone numbers and promising to keep in touch. I sensed she wanted to hug me, but I wasn’t ready for that, so it was an awkward goodbye which left me unsettled. Edwin kept an arm around me as he ushered me to the car, where Trace swiftly drove us back to our rented flat. Between them they settled me on the big bed and fussed over me.
“I’m fine,” I protested. “I just need to sit and think it all through. Go to the pub or something.”Don’t leave me.
They didn’t stir from my side. The next evening, Trace drove us to the coast, to another little flat we’d rented on the outskirts of Bridlington. Edwin unpacked, then they coaxed me out of my temporary paralysis and onto the beach, which was cool under my bare feet, empty, and blissfully wild. The sea was dark and also wild, but the aroma of salt and seaweed surrounded me like a comfort blanket I’d not known I was missing. This was my first visit to the seaside, but it would not be my last. I was entranced.
We walked for what felt like half the night, Edwin passing me snacks at intervals from a cool bag Trace had packed. We didn’t speak much, and frankly it was blowing a gale half the time which messed with my hearing, so I’d probably not have heard much anyway.
Finally, too worn out to continue my pacing of the wide expanse of sand, and exhausted enough that I was hopeful I’d sleep, I begged to be returned to the holiday home. Edwin kissed me until I was dizzy, then swung me up onto his back and fuckingjoggedback to the flat. Trace found my outrage hilarious, and eventually I broke down into stuttering giggles at the absurdity of the moment.
Once inside, Trace peeled off my salty clothes and shoved me gently under the shower. Edwin had hot chocolate waiting for me when I shuffled into the lounge draped in a fluffy towel.
“So, too soon to talk about Mummy dearest?” He handed me the mug when I slumped into a chair.
I pulled a face. “Dunno. Aye, probably. Wouldn’t mind talking about my father though.” I corrected myself instantly. “Allegedfather.”
Trace had his chin resting on his hands, his long legs folded under him. “I thought you might say that.” He smiled at me. “While you were in the shower, Eddie had a word with Baxter. He got Saffi’s number. She’s a Fae on the Council who lives this side of the Glimmer,” he clarified when I gave him a blank look. “If you want to search for this Rollo, she’s the best place to begin.”
52
TRACE
James gave me a sickly grin.“Not while we’re away. Actually, I’ve changed my mind. I want to enjoy my time with you two, not think about parents of any kind.” He sighed around a mouthful of hot chocolate. “I was thinking…”
“Oh yeah? Was it dirty?” We both chuckled at Edwin. I raised my brows at him.
“Really, man?”
He smirked. “I’m a creature of habit, not like you don’t know this.” He lifted his shoulders and waved his hands in a ‘what can you do?’ gesture. “If James wants to forget some shit for a while, he can always strip me naked and boss me around, that’s all I’m saying.”
“When you put it like that…” I purred. I couldn’t help myself. I’d lost the glamour as soon as we were inside and was only wearing shorts myself. “I’m ready for the taking.”
“Christ, you two. It’s like being back at school. Horny bastards.” James was smirking now. He eyed me over the rim of his mug and his smile disappeared. “There is something we haven’t done, but it’s not sexual.” He gulped. “At least, I don’t think it is.”
“Go on.”
His creamy skin took on a rosy glow. “I was wondering, like, if we could see your wings.”
My brain skittered to a dead stop and my mouth dried instantly to arid desert. I was conscious of both James and Edwin regarding me intently.
“Uh, about that.”
Edwin was at my side quicker than I’d ever seen him move. “Is something wrong? Your heart’s going like the clappers, love.”
“I don’t think so,” I said carefully. Honestly, curse the man for being able to read my body so clearly.
“Then what is it?”
“I haven’t seen or felt my wings for a century,” I croaked. “Since the curse was broken, I haven’t dared reach for them. Suppose they don’t work, or they’re missing altogether?” Verbalising this nightmare made prickles of sweat break out across my forehead and I could feel my hands were trembling. “I’m fucking scared. I’m Fae. My wings are as much a part of me as my pointy ears and the language of my world. My magic. Without them, I’m…” I cast around for a comparison, but came up woefully short. “I’m scared,” I repeated.
James clunked his mug down and came to kneel next to me, his towel falling away, leaving him in a state that would normally get my mouth watering and my cock springing to life. I merely threaded my shaky fingers through his soft hair as he laid a hand on my thigh and squeezed. “Your wings are fine,” he said firmly. More firmly than I’d ever heard him say anything. “You haven’t felt them because you’re too damn scared and thinking the worst.”
I leant forwards and buried my face in the scent of his shampoo. “You seem very sure of that,” I muttered.
“I am.” He sounded almost…excited? “I know I can’t do magic, but you know we’ve theorised I can see it?”
“Yes. What of it?” Edwin was all clipped syllables and meerkat alertness now. “James, c’mon, tell us.”
