Kalfr’s mouth twisted, and he again rubbed his hand at his face. “We needed more time to counter this attack,” he replied. “The captain asked for orcs willing to play-act as these women’s mates for a short time, whilst the mountain built a plan. So I… offered my help.”
A choked noise growled from Gaelfr’s mouth, and in a jerky movement, he leapt to his feet, clutching his hand to his side, to where his sword hilt usually would have been. “Youofferedthis?” he hissed, as he stalked across the room, and spun around again. “You offered to play-act as this woman’smate? Enough tobedher, and cover yourself with herscent?!”
He sounded incredulous, furious, and Raye was sure he would be shouting, if not for Svein in the next room. “Why would you do this,” he snarled, pacing back toward them. “You swore a vow toher. Tome!”
He flailed his hand toward Raye, toward himself, while Kalfr’s body wilted inwards, his face even more drawn and haggard than before. “Youleft, Gael,” he said, his voice harsh. “Andshe” — his claws flicked toward Raye — “refused to speak to me, or even see my face. And once I finally accepted the truth of this, I…”
His eyes dropped to the table, his shoulders rising and falling. “I swore to the goddess I would make amends,” he finished, with a sigh. “I had lost my own precious Bautul son, so” — his throat convulsed — “I swore that I would uphold and save the others. I would defend the kin I had left. I would do all withinmy power to defeat our enemies, and to make our clan safe for our sons. No matter the cost.”
No matter the cost. It struck too close in Raye’s chest, dark and powerful and far too familiar. Yet another unbreakable vow to the goddess, another vow perhaps too heavy to ever be fulfilled…
Across the room, Gaelfr muttered another furious curse, and kept pacing back and forth. While Raye blinked across the table at Kalfr, and forced herself to search his empty, exhausted eyes, to seek the truth in what he’d just said.All within my power, no matter the cost…
“What… what did that vow mean for you, exactly?” she asked, her voice small. “What else did you do?”
Kalfr’s eyes closed, and he twitched a dismissive shrug. “Thebyrgiswere part of this,” he said, still without looking at her. “And all my studies around this, learning more of our clan’s history, and all the skills and customs we have lost. But” — he shrugged again — “I also offered my help to the clan, wherever this was needed. I hunted game each day. I embraced plants and gardens and cookery. I helped the mountain make a new school and nursery. I watched and judged those who wished to be our leaders, and upheld the wisest amongst them. I supported rules and laws to protect the weakest amongst us, and helped address any amongst us who had brought our kin harm. And whenever warriors or scouts were needed, I offered my help in this, also.”
There was an instant’s silence, broken only by Gaelfr’s continued pacing across the room, and his short laugh. “I am not surprised you pursued all this,” he snapped, “and I would gladly commend you — but for this play-acting as an enemy woman’s mate! You could not have found another to do this?”
Kalfr grimaced, and his eyes blinked open, gazing empty down toward the table. “I could have,” he replied. “But I did not wish to force another brother to this in my stead. And since I yethad two strong Bautul bonds” — his hand tiredly waved between Raye and Gaelfr — “we all thought this would be… safer, with me.”
Safer. Raye wasn’t following again, but Gaelfr snorted, and jabbed his claw toward Kalfr. “You didnot,” he breathed, “build a bond with this foul woman! Did you?”
That might have been genuine alarm now, flickering through Gaelfr’s eyes — and then relief, when Kalfr shook his head. “No, I did not,” Kalfr said. “The Ka-esh — the scholars in our mountain — were right upon this. It takes more time and effort to build a bond when you already have one. And already havingtwomakes this even harder, most of all for a Bautul, and” — his eyes closed again — “when the orc is yetnursingthe bonds, they said, and grieving them. As much as I sought not to do this.”
Oh. So Kalfr really had missed both Raye and Gaelfr that deeply, that he hadn’t been able to move on, or build a bond with this new woman. And Raye couldn’t hide her relieved exhale, or her brief exchanged glance with Gaelfr, still pacing back and forth across the room.
“And what then?” Gaelfr demanded. “After you agreed to this scheme?”
Kalfr drew in another heavy breath, and his hands folded tightly together on the table. “I went out and met Sybil,” he said dully, “and did what was asked of me. But it was not…”
His voice broke into something not quite a laugh, his hands twisting tighter together, and somehow, Raye’s own hand snaked out across the table. Brushing against Kalfr’s hard knuckles, light and skittering, before snapping away again.
Kalfr’s hand spasmed at the touch, his eyes darting up toward Raye’s, holding under long black lashes. Not condemning her, not hating her, at least not in this moment, so Raye gulped in a breath and slid her hand back toward him, catching on his knuckles, feeling the warmth and strengthbeneath his skin. And he didn’t pull away either, though his eyes dropped toward their hands, his swallow bobbing in his throat.
“It was not… good,” he continued. “Not from the very start. I have spent much time with my brothers’ human mates these past summers, so I thought I knew what to expect… but Sybil was not like any of them. She was not like any human I have ever met.”
Gaelfr paused his pacing, listening, his gaze fixed to where Raye’s hand was still curled over Kalfr’s on the table. But when Raye reflexively drew her hand away again, Gaelfr met her eyes, and gave a purposeful jerk of his head. Ordering her to keep touching Kalfr, surely — so Raye again drew up her courage, and settled her hand back against Kalfr’s, spreading her fingers wider against his. And he didn’t even twitch this time, and his shoulders settled a little, too.
“Really?” she asked, quiet. “I mean, surely this Sybil couldn’t have been worse thanme?”
She tried to make it light, like a joke, but Gaelfr’s words were still too close, too painful.I should never have dreamt he could find worse than you. And even now, Raye could almost feel Gaelfr’s recognition of the words, maybe even his wholehearted agreement.
But Kalfr’s mouth spasmed, and he jerked a sharp shrug. “With you, at least I could follow how you felt, and what you feared, and what you wished for,” he said, toward their hands. “I may not have liked this, or agreed with this, but I understood this. Understoodyou. But with her…”
Raye leaned forward toward him, her heartbeat skipping, her eyes searching his face. And her hand had begun stroking his, just a little, smoothing against those hard knuckles, the quivering tension of his fingers beneath.
“With Sybil, her words never matched her scent,” he continued. “She would preen and smile and speak sweetly to me,and reek of bitterness and rage. She would speak what I knew to be falsehoods, and reek of truth and sadness. She would touch me and beg for me, and reek of jealousy and hatred. I was not with her long, mayhap a week, but it felt…”
He grimaced, shook his head. “It felt as though I was…attackingher,” he rasped. “As though I was forcing her to my bed, even though she begged and prodded and pushed me upon this. She would not leave me be, she would not cease touching me and clinging to me, and whenever I sought to turn aside, she would sulk and weep and tell me dark tales of all the men who had wronged her, and beg for my love. And only then would she scent of truth, when she was weeping in my arms, and then I would seek to soothe and comfort her, and…”
His hands spasmed beneath Raye’s, his mouth contorting. “And then she would tear at my clothes, and beg for my son, and reek of longing and rage and murder. As if she truly wished to have my son, but only so she could wield him against me, and destroy me. Even after she had gained what she had come for, and killed me, and all my kin.”
And now it was Raye cursing under her breath, because damn it, that would have been yet another perfect, horrible strike against Kalfr, wouldn’t it? A woman seeking to have his son, so she could hurt him. Destroy him, even after his own death.
“But I sought not to cast judgement upon her,” Kalfr added, faster now, “for I was seeking to deceive her in turn, ach? But then” — he exhaled a harsh breath — “one of our kin who did not know of the scheme came upon us, and believed her to be my true mate, and spoke to her of… you. Of my former weaver mate, and my son.”
Raye winced, while across the room Gaelfr stilled, and strode back toward them with jerky steps. “And what did this Sybil do?”he demanded, though he softened the words with a gentle grip against Kalfr’s stiff shoulder. “She was angry?”
