17
Kalfr was here.Here.
Raye’s heartbeat barrelled through her ears, her chest, her breath. Kalfr was here. Only a few short steps away.
And he was — alone. No other woman, no other orcs. The awareness granted Raye a faint, shaky relief in the chaos, in the wild shouting terror reeling all through her body. What would Kalfr do? What would he say? Would he hate them? He wasn’t even moving, why wasn’t he moving?
But then, in a jolting movement, Kalfr strode forward, into the light. Revealing — oh. His gleaming charcoal skin. His tightly bound black hair. His tall, lean, bare-chested body, still moving with fluid, graceful ease. And his face, just as handsome and striking as ever, with a straight nose, strong cheekbones, and a full, expressive mouth.
But he also looked… older. Wearier. Just like in the portrait, with the hollower cheeks, the new lines bracketing his eyes and mouth, furrowing his forehead. Looking wrong on him, out of place, and…
And… he looked at Raye. His dark shadowed eyes catching hers, holding, for only a breath — but in that instant, Raye froze all over, as waves of ice and heat charged through her body. Her heartbeat now thundered so hard she felt dizzy, the tension wrenching so tight she wanted to sob, or maybe scream. What would he say, what would he do?
But then his gaze flicked away, toward Gaelfr. Holding brief but intent there, too, his nostrils flaring, while something twisted on his mouth. But only for a breath, because finally, he looked at Svein. At where Svein was still clinging to Gaelfr’s side, and staring back at Kalfr with wide, terrified eyes.
But at the sight, something changed on Kalfr’s face. Something flickering, softening. And he held out his hand, his black claws drawn fully in, his long fingers slightly trembling in the air.
“Hallo, Svein,” he said, his voice still just as low and smooth as Raye remembered it. “It is such an honour to meet you, my son. Such a great gift from the goddess.”
That last part was exactly what Gaelfr had told Svein only moments ago, the words ringing through Raye’s ears. And after an instant’s stillness, Svein shoved down from Gaelfr’s side, and… ran. Dashing across the small space toward Kalfr, and then throwing himself straight into Kalfr’s open arms.
“You came,” he choked, muffled, into Kalfr’s chest. “You finallycame, Papa.”
Kalfr instantly circled his arms around Svein, inhaling deep against his hair, squeezing him tight to his chest. “Ach, my son,” he croaked. “Ach. Not a day has passed that I did not miss you.”
Svein sniffled, and drew back to blink at Kalfr’s face. “Really?” he asked, high-pitched. “Did you miss me as much as I missed you?”
Kalfr rapidly nodded, as both his hands snapped up, and cradled Svein’s face. “Ach, more,” he whispered back. “I have missed you so much, my son. I have always,alwaysloved you.”
Oh. Oh gods, oh please, Raye’s sobs juddering too close in her throat, fighting to escape. While the rest of her body still felt frozen, trapped, lost in the sight of Svein fervently nodding, and hurling himself back into Kalfr’s waiting arms. As if he’d never once doubted that Kalfr had always loved him, all along.
“I love the swords you sent,” Svein gulped, burying his face in Kalfr’s shoulder. “And the furs. And the book. I read it every night, I —”
But then he broke into great, gasping sobs, weeping into Kalfr’s shoulder, and oh, Kalfr was weeping too, rocking Svein back and forth. Squeezing him even tighter against him, his hands still trembling against Svein’s tunic, while water streaked down his cheeks, and the sobs heaved through his shoulders.
The tears finally escaped Raye’s eyes too, her own sobs quietly quaking through her chest. Gods, what had she done? How had she ever thought she could — orshould— keep Kalfr and Svein apart? Fuck, they even looked so much the same, their hair, their builds, the rich shade of their skin. Even the way they clung to each other, dragging in each other’s scents. Like they’d both just escaped some unimaginable cruelty, and it was cruelty Raye had wrought, and rained down upon them.
She barely noticed the feel of Gaelfr’s hand, circling around her waist. But when she managed a glance toward him, he was watching Kalfr and Svein too, his eyes bright and blinking, his breath shuddering out. And Raye could almost taste the depth of his relief, and his loss, and his longing. How much he wished he was part of this, with hisástvinur, and his son.
But Kalfr’s attention was still fully on Svein, and he drew back to blink at him again, wiping the tears from Svein’s flushed cheeks. “Ach, just look at you, my son,” he rasped. “Already sotall, and so handsome! And your scent” — he inhaled, gave Svein a wavering smile — “ach. It is perfect, my son.Youare perfect.”
Svein sniffled and scrubbed his face, but slowly smiled back. His own bright, beautiful smile, so stunning and contagious that Kalfr sharply inhaled, and smiled again, too. Broader and more genuine this time, lighting up his entire face — and making him look so suddenly like Svein that Raye had to glance away, gulping for air. Gods, how had she forgotten this, too? How hadn’t she seen that it was Kalfr’s face looking at her out of Svein’s every single day?
“Now tell me, son,” Kalfr said, still smiling at Svein, even as he kept blinking, his throat convulsing. “What do you do? What do you like? How do you spend your days? And did you say you couldread? Already?”
Svein’s smile flashed even brighter, and he rapidly nodded. “Yes, I’m very good at reading!” he exclaimed. “And I work really hard, I always help Mama with her weaving, and I help keep her safe with my scenting, and with hiding in my tunnel! And Papa Gaelfr showed me how to use your swords yesterday, and I was really good at that too, wasn’t I, Papa?”
He angled a hopeful, shining look at Gaelfr over his shoulder, while Kalfr stilled, and followed Svein’s gaze toward Gaelfr’s face. And then further downwards, to where Gaelfr’s arm was still around Raye’s waist.
“Ach, son,” Gaelfr replied, hoarse, a beat too late, as his hand against Raye betrayed an unmistakable spasm. “You shall someday be a great Bautul warrior, I ken.”
There was another instant’s stillness, Kalfr’s eyes glinting on Gaelfr, and then on Raye, too. But then he smiled at Svein again, and patted a hand against his hair. “I am not at all surprised by this,” he said firmly. “And ach, the goddess has granted you my hair, also! Do you always wear it braided thus?”
Svein shyly nodded, and again glanced over his shoulder toward Gaelfr and Raye. “Papa Gaelfr’s been doing it for me since he came,” he said, “but Mama always braids it for me, too.”
Kalfr’s eyes again followed Svein’s to Raye, holding unreadable on her face. Which — gods damn it — had to be flushed, and streaked with tears, and she hurriedly wiped at her wet cheeks, while Kalfr’s gaze dropped back to Svein again.
“I am most glad to hear this,” he told Svein, with another affectionate pat at his hair. “So I ken” — he hesitated and flicked another glance toward Gaelfr — “Papa Gaelfr has only just come to you, then?”
