Before her, Gaelfr curtly nodded, and surreptitiously wiped his arm against his mouth. “Naught to fear, son,” he said, though his voice sounded faint, too. “Naught is amiss.”
Svein didn’t look even slightly convinced, and his nostrils flared as he frowned up at Gaelfr, his bottom lip jutting out. “But I smell… humanblood,” he said. “Mama’sblood.”
His uneasy eyes darted toward Raye, held on the blood on her neck, and she fought the overpowering urge to slap her hand over it, and try to hide it away. She didn’t want to lie to Svein, but what was she supposed to say, what possible explanation could she give —
“Did you… hurt Mama?” Svein insisted, his eyes searching Gaelfr’s face, his mouth. “Didyou, Papa Gaelfr?”
There was no way Gaelfr could deny it, and his shoulders slowly slumped, his head bowing, his hand covering his eyes. Perhaps understanding, just the same as Raye did, that this could be the end of his relationship with Svein, forever. That Raye could so easily accuse him, blame him, and therebypermanently poison Svein against him. She could send Gaelfr away for good, he would deserve it, and she would never see him again…
But the thought of it churned in Raye’s gut, and even worse was that look in Svein’s eyes. That growing sadness and fear, as if maybe he’d expected this all along. As if he’d known having a father suddenly show up was too good to be true. Especially a father who’d fed him and guarded him, taught him about hunting and scenting, asked questions and listened attentively to his answers.
And Raye could almost taste the grief on Gaelfr, too. The regret. The way his throat convulsed, his shadowed face gone haggard in the fading firelight. His mouth opening, about to answer Svein, about to confess, to say farewell forever.
“No, love,” Raye’s voice cut in. “Gaelfr didn’t hurt me. It was just — an accident.”
Gaelfr’s head snapped up, his eyes glittering on hers, while before them, Svein’s head tilted, his tooth chewing his lip. “Is that true, Papa Gaelfr? You wouldn’t hurt Mama on purpose, would you?”
Gaelfr’s shoulders rose and fell, and in a jerky movement, he dropped to kneel before Svein, his hand over his heart. “No, my son,” he said, hoarse. “I would never seek to harm your mother. I have seen how deeply you care for one another, and” — his shadowed eyes angled toward Raye — “how she has been a good mother to you. How she has cared for you, and kept you safe, when I did not.”
Oh. Maybe it was a concession, or even an apology — but Gaelfr couldn’t really mean it, either. Not when he’d just been judging Raye like that. Mocking her. Calling her greedy and jealous and cruel. Wielding her body and her loneliness against her, sinking his teeth into her throat…
“You promise?” Svein asked, his eyes surprisingly flinty on Gaelfr’s face. “You swear you won’t hurt Mama?”
Raye’s chest knotted, her eyes stinging, because Svein was such a brave, generous son, trying to protect her like this, even against an orc far bigger and stronger than he was. And she couldn’t at all make out Gaelfr’s glance toward her, but his mouth twisted as he nodded, as his hand again went to his heart.
“Ach, my son,” he said, low. “I shall do my utmost to keep your mother safe from harm. I vow this to you, before the goddess.”
It clutched tighter in Raye’s chest, enough that she had to glance away, fight to keep her breathing steady. To remember all the awful things Gaelfr had said, only moments before.Cruel. Greedy. Jealous.
“Oh, good,” came Svein’s voice, far brighter than before, and followed by a long, loud yawn. “What will the goddess do to you, if you break your vow?”
Gaelfr barked a relieved chuckle as he rose to his feet, and settled his hand against Svein’s shoulder. “Ach, you should not wish to know, my son,” he said thickly. “But mayhap I could tell you another tale of the goddess whilst you fall asleep again? Should your mother allow this?”
Raye met Gaelfr’s eyes, catching on how they still looked shadowed, uneasy, regretful. But he studied her, too, as if truly waiting for her answer, respecting her choice on this. When just moments ago he’dbittenher, and told her heownedher, and could command her as he pleased. And no matter what he’d just vowed to Svein, surely this was all a show, a pretty little falsehood, for Svein’s sake. She could not trust Gaelfr. She could never, ever trust him.
“Go ahead, then,” she said, as steadily as she could. “Sleep well, love.”
Svein nodded and yawned again, and allowed Gaelfr to usher him back into his room. And for a moment, Raye could only watch through the open door as Gaelfr tucked Svein into his fur again, and began speaking, his voice soft and soothing. Telling a tale about how Bautul, the first orc of their clan, had been in grave danger from men, and had sought comfort and refuge from the moon, and found his goddess within it.
But even the tale was another bitter twist in Raye’s gut, because Kalfr had told her this one before, hadn’t he? His voice quiet and reverent just like this, his hand sinking into her hair just the way Gaelfr’s had, drawing her head down onto his solid safe shoulder, into that rich dizzying scent of his skin…
Gods, what waswrongwith her, and Raye gritted her teeth as she stumbled over to the washbasin, and began scrubbing the blood off her neck. It still stung where Gaelfr had bitten her, and every scrape of her cloth only seemed to make it worse. And it had never hurt like that with Kalfr, had it? But Kalfr had always been so gentle, as if he’d never wanted to hurt her. As if he’d meant those vows he’d made, and then —
Raye clamped down on that thought, and hurled the blood-stained cloth back into the basin with too much force. It had been such a ridiculous, exhausting day, and she desperately needed to rest. To sleep, and shut it all away.
She didn’t bother changing her clothes, just staggered for the small bed against the wall, and sank down onto the fur. Curling up facing the wall, taking up as much room as she damn well pleased, because surely Gaelfr would sleep outside after all that, right? Or find room on the floor, at least?
But then came the sound of Svein’s door closing, followed by — footsteps. Gaelfr’s footsteps, moving toward her, creaking the floor beneath his weight. And though Raye’s eyes were tightly shut, her body fully dressed and facing away from him, she could still feel his heavy gaze on her back, prickling against her skin.
“I… thank you, woman,” came his low voice, closer than she’d expected. “For… defending me, to our son.”
Raye fought back her grimace, but didn’t reply, and Gaelfr exhaled, slow and heavy in the silence. “And I am… sorry for the rest of it, also,” he added, quieter. “I had no wish to vex you, or harm you.”
Raye squeezed her eyes shut tighter, but didn’t turn, didn’t speak. She had nothing to say to him, she didn’t trust him, she was being civil, doing this for Svein, that was all.
“It was only… your scent, I ken,” Gaelfr went on, his voice hitching. “It is yet so strong of Kalfr. It has been… so long.”
Raye might have laughed, or sobbed, had she not felt so tired, so empty. Of course it had all been about Kalfr, yet again. Of course Gaelfr wanted nothing to do with her. He hated her, he thought she was hideous, he’d been mocking and judging her all day.I should never have dreamt he could find worse than you.
