But Kalfr’s eyes went arrested and unmoving on hers, and Gaelfr’s nostrils had begun flaring. And in a jerky movement, he shoved himself down the bed, pressed his face into Raye’s bare belly, and drew in a deep, bracing breath. Smelling her. And surely it was nothing, surely it had just been a dream after all…
But when Gaelfr raised his face again, his eyes were unnaturally bright, and a small, wavering smile pulled at his mouth. And Raye had never seen him look like this before, like he too had seen that beautiful light, and it was shining out from within him, flooding him with warmth and relief.
“Ach, the goddess has blessed us,sæta,” he croaked. “For you scent of — our son. Kalfr’s son.”
57
Raye scented of their son.Kalfr’sson.
She stared toward Kalfr, her heartbeat skipping, her hands fluttering helplessly up to her hot face. A son. Another son. Their son.
Something bubbled up bright and wondrous in her chest, quaking her all over — and escaped in a joyous, giddy laugh. A son. Another son.
“Oh, goddess,” she gulped, shoving up to sit on the bed, wiping at her suddenly wet eyes, beaming at Kalfr so brightly it hurt. “We made another son together. Another son! It’s just — I can’t —”
She couldn’t stop laughing, and perhaps weeping at the same time, and Kalfr’s slow, awestruck smile back toward her made it even better, because — yes. He’d wanted this. He’d wanted it just as much as she had, his eyes shining with warmth and colour and life, and his breath choked out as he shoved up too, and swept her into his arms.
“Ach, mysæta,” he breathed, his voice thick and wavering. “Another son.Ach.”
Raye shivered against him, squeezing him back as tightly as she could. They’d made another son together. Another life. Another chance to learn together, to trust together. To be a family together. And it was such a gift, not only from the goddess, but from —
“And you, Gael,” Raye croaked, once she and Kalfr pulled apart again, and she twisted toward where he was sitting up in the bed, watching them with a careful smile on his mouth — and she hurled herself toward him, too, flinging her arms around his stiff back. “You gave us this too, with all your ridiculous feeding and fattening, and you’re just — too damned good to us. To both of us.”
Gaelfr’s stiff body slightly relaxed against her, and his arms carefully curled around her back. “Ach, it was naught,sæta,” he said, gruff into her throat. “Only what any orc would have done.”
But that wasn’t true, it wasn’t, and Raye yanked back to half-glare, half-grin at him with indulgent, exasperated affection. And though Gaelfr was still smiling, too, his gaze dropped down and away, toward the bed. As if — he wasn’t disappointed, was he? He couldn’t have thought — oh. Had hewantedthe son to be from his seed, after all?
Raye couldn’t deny a whisper of disappointment around that, too — goddess, had she really wanted to have Gaelfr’s son? But she still couldn’t stop smiling at him, giving his stiff shoulders a firm shake. “You’ll be such a good father, Gael,” she said thickly. “Again. And this means” — her smile quivered higher, the hope clutching close — “you’ll stay now, right? Forever?”
Gaelfr’s eyes stilled, his body snapped even stiffer beneath her hands — and Raye couldn’t deny the sudden quiver of unease, or alarm, gripping in her chest. Because — he’d promised he would stay for good, right? On the condition that she kept her vow to make amends to Kalfr, and bear him a son?
“You’ll stay,” she said again, with another attempt at a smile, another shake to his stiff shoulders. “Won’t you, Gael? I’ve kept my vows, I’ve done everything we agreed on, right?”
It came out thin, pleading, her smile wavering on her mouth — while Gaelfr’s own mouth twisted, and his gaze angled toward… toward Kalfr. Kalfr, who was staring at them with hard, glittering eyes, lacking even a trace of the warmth from only a moment ago. And why, what had happened, what had changed —
But too late, Raye heard her own words to Gaelfr, jangling through her ears.You’ll stay now, right? I’ve kept my vows, I’ve done everything we agreed on…
Fuck.Fuck. What the hell was wrong with her? What in the goddess’ name had come over her? She’d just referred to Gaelfr’s test. To that condition he’d given her, about bearing Kalfr a son. And she couldn’t say that in front of Kalfr, and fuck, she’d said it in front of Kalfr, damn it,damnit —
“I only meant,” she stammered, too quickly, too late. “I’ve kept all the vows I’ve made, to both of you, and to the goddess. And that means we can tr?—”
But Kalfr’s hand swiftly snapped up toward her, palm out, in a silent order to stop. An order that felt strong enough to be a slap, and Raye clamped her mouth shut, as something wildly heaved in her chest. No. No. She couldn’t have just — ruined this, with one stupid slip of the tongue. Couldn’t have just —failed—
“Explain this, Gael,” Kalfr said, with deadly steadiness in his voice. “What does Raye mean by this.”
Gaelfr’s expression was blank, unmoving, though his swallow bobbed in his throat. And when Raye opened her mouth again, Kalfr shot her a sharp, quelling look, firing more jolting misery through her chest. No. No. Gaelfr needed to barge in, he needed to find a way to explain everything, fix everything —
But Gaelfr wasn’t moving, wasn’t speaking, and he still had that hollow, empty look on his face. Just like when he’d told them the truth about his time in the south, and Kalfr had been angry with him. When Gaelfr had thought he’d failed…
“Tell me, Gael,” Kalfr commanded. “The truth. All of this.Now.”
Gaelfr’s mouth twisted, and his hand rubbed at his eyes. “I only wished — to help you,ástin mín,” he replied, his voice rough. “Both of you. I wished to — bring you back together, and make you safe and content. But I did not trust Raye at first, so I…”
His voice faded, but after an instant’s empty silence, he drew in a heavy, shuddering breath. “I… I did what I could to — urge her,” he finished. “To test her.”
Urge her. Test her. It fired more misery through Raye’s gut, because yes, she’d known Gaelfr was testing her all along, hadn’t she? But to hear him say it, to know he’d done it with calculation, with purpose, it was — it was —
“And how did you urge her, and test her?” came Kalfr’s clipped question. “Tell me, Gael. All of this.”
