Xander flashed him a glare and Max held up both hands. ‘OK, OK, I’m going.’ He gave Immy a wink and wandered off.
‘I hate my brothers,’ Xander said.
‘No you don’t.’
‘I bet you don’t get this kind of grief from Alex.’
‘Not now, but growing up we used to fight a lot, mostly over stealing each other’s clothes and make-up. I shaved one of her eyebrows once, I don’t think she ever forgave me for that.’
‘You’re very lucky only having one sibling. I got lumbered with five of them. I’m not sure why, my parents don’t even like children.’
Immy frowned. ‘Do you not get along with your parents? I have to say I don’t remember ever seeing them at family gatherings.’
Her sister Alex had been going along to family Christmas dinners for the last few years, where all of Quinn’s family would turn up, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and Immy had always been invited along as well. She hadn’t started seeing Xander at these events until after his wife had died so she’d never met Brook.
‘No, you would never have seen them at any family event. And it’s not like I have a bad relationship with my parents, I just don’t have any relationship with them. I honestly don’t know them to not get along with them. They were absent from the majority of my childhood and I haven’t seen them now for around eight years. They didn’t come to my wedding with Brook, although they did send the most hideous vase. They’ve never met Etta and have no desire to. We don’t even speak on the phone. They live in America so I guess time zones make having a relationship a little tricky, but even when they lived in the UK, we never saw them. They were always too busy with work.’
‘What is it they do?’
‘They’re agents.’
‘Secret agents?’
He smiled. ‘Celebrity agents; singers, actors, authors, sports stars, celebrity chefs, comedians. They run their own agency and have some of the biggest celebrities in the world on their books. Consequently they spend their lives jetting all round the world to look after them.They are mainly based out in Los Angeles now but they used to work and live in London. They had a second home down here in Lovegrove Bay which is where the six of us grew up, but they never came down to visit.’
‘That sounds really sad, I’m sorry.’
‘Oh don’t misunderstand me, it’s not like I had a terrible childhood. We were raised by nannies. Mainly a wonderful lady called Grace, but there were others that helped too. Six boys is a lot to look after and quite often there was another lady called Frankie, who helped with ferrying us around our various afterschool activities, and helped out with the cooking sometimes too. So it isn’t as if we were neglected, we had a good upbringing. We took part in a lot of sports clubs, we had all the toys, computer consoles, bikes, mobile phones that we could wish for. The house had this massive den in the basement with a pool table, Xboxes, PlayStations, a big TV, so we always hung out there with each other or our friends. So I can’t say we had a deprived childhood. In fact I know we were so much better off than the majority of children our age.’
‘But you didn’t have a loving relationship with your parents?’
‘We never saw them growing up. They never came to our school plays or concerts, never shouted their support from the sidelines when we were playing sports. We didn’t even see them at weekends as mostly they weren’t even in the country.’
He took a sip of water. ‘We literally never saw them from one year to the next, not even at Christmas orbirthdays. Sometimes we’d get a card with some money or gift card inside for our birthdays or Christmas, sometimes they’d even forget to do that. Grace would fake a card from them if they forgot but you could always tell the cards that were from Grace – she’d write some effusive declaration of love and how proud they were of us, while our parents’ real cards would be signed “Mum and Dad” and that’s it. Occasionally there would be a brief “Happy Birthday” but never any lovely heartfelt messages. Even now when it’s our birthday, we get some cash deposited in our bank account, if they remember, and they don’t even bother with a card. They never called to see how we were, never wrote or emailed. We barely knew they existed. After Archer was born, Mum went back to work after a week. My dad was at work the next day. There was never any bonding time, just enough time to recover from the birth and then they’d disappear.’
‘I’m so sorry, that sounds really hard.’
He stared at her. ‘Most people don’t see it like that. As one friend said, “You had everything any child could possibly want and you’re moaning because Mummy wasn’t there to kiss you goodnight.” And I get it but I would have traded all of that to have my mum read me a bedtime story or have my dad hold me when I had a nightmare, or to have a hug from either of them and be told I was loved. Consequently, I think we’re all pretty messed up because of the lack of love in our lives.’
She squeezed his hand, her heart breaking for him. ‘Ican only imagine how difficult that was for all of you. And the long-lasting repercussions from that.’
‘Well, all of my brothers are single and none of them have had long-term relationships so I’d say there’s quite a lot of lasting damage.’
Immy chewed her lip as she thought. That probably explained why Xander struggled with relationships, having never seen or experienced a loving one himself.
‘I just don’t understand why they would decide to have six children if they didn’t want anything to do with them,’ Immy said.
‘My aunt, my dad’s sister, one of the most indiscreet people I’ve ever met, told me that my dad had multiple affairs. Every time my mum caught him at it or suspected, she would get pregnant because then he would have to spend time with her and not the other woman. Reputation was everything for them and he couldn’t be seen with other women while his loving wife was at home pregnant with his child. Apparently he had a vasectomy after Archer was born so she couldn’t use that tactic any more. I have no idea if he is continuing his affairs or not, I don’t really care to get involved in their personal life.’
‘Wow, that is crazy behaviour.’
‘You’re telling me. But it possibly explains a lot. For my mum we were a reminder of all the times my dad betrayed her and for my dad a reminder of the times my mum used emotional blackmail against him. Or they just didn’t want to be parents. But it does make me worry about my own capabilities as a parent. I had nogood role models, I have no idea what a good dad looks like.’
‘I think it would make you a great dad. You’ll be determined not to repeat the same mistakes your own parents made. You’ll make sure Etta is loved and that she knows it. From what I can see, you’re doing a wonderful job of raising her alone.’
He looked out over the sea for a moment and let out a heavy sigh.
He turned back to her. ‘Sorry, this is a heavy topic for a first date. I probably do need to read those tips Max left for me after all.’
