She could never be a part of his life, a part of his family. They could never accept her once they knew, just like he couldn’t. And she didn’t blame them. She didn’t blame him.
You always knew it wasn’t possible. It would never happen for you—a normal relationship, a normal life. Not for someone like you.
She jumped at the sound of his voice.
“Where’s Casey?” he demanded.
Nico rushed to the door and slammed it shut.
“He’s not coming.”
“Bobby told me he wanted to talk to me—us.”
She shook her head. “I just told Bobby to tell you that to get you up here. You’re not leaving until you hear me out.”
“I’ve already told you, I don’t want to hear anything from you. What makes you think I’d believe anything you have to say?”
Her throat was so tight, she found it difficult to swallow. She had told herself she would look him in the eye and force him to do the same. But now, hearing his voice and seeing that cold look in his eye, she couldn’t bring herself to. It was a good thing the floor was made of tile, simple white tile with no fancy designs. She could stare at it as she spoke without getting dizzy.
She cleared her throat. “It doesn’t have anything to do with matters outside racing. I know that’s over, and I’ve accepted it. But what I can’t accept is you fucking up on the racetrack like you have been ever since we came back. You may not be able to trust me in your life off the track. Okay. I understand that. I can accept that. But what I can’t accept is you doubting me as a driver and your teammate. I had to work just as hard as you to get here. In fact, I probably had to work harder.”
“Spare me!”
That sparked anger in her, and she looked up.
“Are you really that dense? Did it escape your notice that I gave you an opening out there, blocking three cars so that you could pass through? You could have been up on that podium—should have been up there.”
“I don’t needyouto win a race. So, don’t do me any favors and get away from that door! Now!”
Looking at him, Nico thought that he might push her away, but she stood her ground.
“I’m not saying you need me to win a race. It should be obvious you don’t, given you’ve done it before. And don’t go thinking I was doing you any favors. I wasn’t being selfless, just realistic. It’s my rookie year. I don’t have a shot at that championship. Not this year. But you do. So stop pouting and do something about it.”
“I’m not pouting, and I am doing something about it.”
“What you’re doing is losing any shot at that championship. You’ve been doing it ever since we came back. And while you’re at it, you’ve been undermining me as well. But then maybe that’s the point.”
“What does that mean?”
“Look, I’m not saying you should think of me. I wouldn’t expect you to. But think about your family—your parents and grandparents, who’ve done everything they can to get you to where you are. Think about Sofia and Beatrice and how much they look up to their uncle Rocco. You shouldn’t be trying to find ways to disappoint them. You may be an annoying, arrogant, asshole, prick. Hell, you’ve mastered the art. But you are an annoying, arrogant, asshole, prick who can drive better than anyone else out there!”
She opened the door and then paused as she was walking through it.
Should she say it? Damn it, she would.
“You may feel like you can’t trust me just like you can’t trust Carolyn. But there’s a difference between me and her. I want you to win. Not for you—you annoying, arrogant, asshole, prick—but for your family. You don’t know how lucky you are. It’s not all about you, Rocco. You wouldn’t be here without them, and I’ve got news for you, the world and everything in it doesn’t revolve around you. Your head is big enough. If it gets any bigger, you’ll be like the little prince, and it won’t fit in the damn car.”
She heard something. Was he laughing?
“I can’t believe you just said that.”
She sighed, bit her lip. “I can’t believe it either. I don’t know where that came from.”
Suddenly she was laughing too.
But once they’d stopped, she drew a deep breath. She felt as though she were going to cry. She felt how very badly she wanted to.
Exit stage right. Now.
