I dig my finger and thumb into the corner of my eyes. “I know.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you guys would be great together. She lights up around you and I think she and Nelson could be coming to you exactly when you’re ready for them. I hope it works out.”
“Thanks, Darce.”
“If she does come to you, don’t let the other stuff stand in your way. Age is only a number. And what big brother wouldn’t want a great guy for his sister?”
I scoff. “Clearly you haven’t had the benefit of seeing Colton Quinn on a gridiron. He gave the Bears their name. He’s grizzly.”
We both laugh but it’s short-lived. “It probably isn’t what you want to hear but hang tight, Tanner. These things have a way of working themselves out.”
She’s right, I didn’t want to hear it, but I needed to. There’ve been too many close shaves lately because my heart and my body have a mind of their own whenever I’m close to Annie. They don’t listen to the brain that’s sitting inside a very beat-up skull. Maybe that’s part of the problem. Years of being tackled hard have made every other part of my anatomy rebel.
Me
I’m sorry, Annie. I was a dick.
Annie Sunshine
You were. But it takes two, or three.
Me
Will you still stay here tomorrow? Please.
Annie Sunshine
I don’t think that would be a good idea.
I drop Darcy to the airport and fight the Monday morning rush hour traffic all the way back to the training ground. I don’t tackle the roads the way I usually do, swerving and nipping to make up ground; I can’t be bothered. I don’t have any fight in me today.
I’m emotionally all over the place. As if yesterday and the fact Annie doesn’t want to stay with me this week is the straw that broke this bearded giant’s back.
So it’s a thrill to be greeted on the practice field when I finally make it out there, late, by Coach getting in my face and demanding answers.
The whole time, the guys are in the background, pretending not to eavesdrop.
After a barrel of hollering, I do the only thing I can. I hold up my hands and tell Coach Roy, “I’m sorry, Coach. It won’t happen again.”
“You bet your ass it won’t.”
I nod and walk in the direction of the receivers, including Quinn, who all jump back into running drills with the offensive coordinator and pretend I didn’t just receive a dressing down befitting of a kid in school.
“Pace,” Coach calls from behind me. “You’re not sick, are you?”
I shake my head. “No, Coach. Just a jackass.”
I fall into step running the route tree, acting as if every player’s eyes aren’t on me. I’m never late. I’m usually early. Always here for the game, for the squad. This is my life and it’s why I’ve never had a relationship during season – or any time. Which is the reason I’m no fucking good at it.
Even as my body goes through the motions, my mind is elsewhere. With Annie. Realizing that by trying not to hurt her, that’s exactly what I’ve done.
“Are you okay, man?” Quinn asks when we head inside for lunch.
“Yeah. Peachy.”
He narrows his eyes on me as I give him the response Annie gives me when she usually means she’s anything but peachy.
I wonder if Annie’s at school. If she’ll come by my place to grab her gear.
