Yet, the longer I watch him showing off the tattoo on his palm to the others with unabashed pride, the more my doubts subside. Of all of the people I could have been matched with, I got pretty lucky with these three.
As the minutes tick by, I start to see things from Kodiak’s perspective. Seeing my mark on him, knowing that Ichoseto put it there, and he’s thrilled about it? It sends a possessive thrill through me that’s dangerously intoxicating.
I may be wary about this whole situation, but I don’t regret my impulsive decision. Removing the need to tiptoe around the house has shed a massive weight from my shoulders that was heavier than I realized I’d been carrying. I finally have a space where I don't need to be hypervigilant every waking moment. Hell, there’s no fear in touchinganyoneanymore.
Being tied to these three is a death sentence, yet it’s set me free in ways I never imagined.
“Amara?” Raiden’s concern has me snapping to attention.
“Sorry, got lost in my head there for a minute. What did you say?”
The three of them share a weighted look that instantly raises my hackles. Setting his wine glass on the coffee table, Stone furrows his brow. “Is something wrong?” Kodi stiffens, and I blow out a heavy breath, trying to smooth things over.
“Just thinking that, for spending a lifetime thinking being found by a legion was a fate worse than death? It’s actually liberating.” I shrug. “It’s a weird feeling that I don’t really trust, like it’s too good to be true. I think I’m... happy. It’s unsettling.”
All of the tension leaves Kodiak’s body in a visible rush of relief. “Trying to sweet talk me out of my pants, gorgeous? Cause it’s definitely working.”
Raiden shakes his head with the hint of a smile, but it falls so quickly I might as well have imagined it. “Why don’t you take a seat? There’s something we need to discuss.”
My stomach flips, but I head for the couch. “If this is a breakup speech, the timing is poetically ironic.”
Inside, I’m already expecting the worst, running through countless scenarios in an effort to protect myself. Bad news loses some of its impact if you’re already braced for the blow.
Stone chuckles. “We might make dumb choices now and again, but I assure you, we’re notthatstupid.”
The moment my butt hits the couch cushion, it’s lifted off again as Kodi flops down beside me and drags me onto his lap. Now that the gloves are off, literally and figuratively, it’s abundantly clear that I’m not the only one who's been touch starved for far too long. Nipping at the side of my throat, he eases the sting with a lingering kiss, but the sudden bite has me jumping in surprise.
Low, ominous growls surround me from both sides of the room, enveloping me in the eye of the brewing storm. Stone’s voice is laced with warning, a stark reminder that while he may masquerade as a kind doctor, he carries more darkness than the rest of us combined. “Set her down, Kodiak.”
Kodi laces his fingers together over my stomach possessively, tensing beneath me. “And why the hell should I do that?”
In one blink, Raiden is across the room, and the next, his hand is wrapped around Kodi’s wrist. His natural smoky scent is undercut with the acrid stench of burning flesh, my own brand aching in sympathy. “Because you’re getting careless. I get that you’re excited, but you need to remember what she’s been through.”
Raiden’s control is impressive. Even though I can feel the heat emanating off of his hand, the thumb that brushes my side is barely warmer than usual. The two of them are locked in a stare off of death glares, leaving me in a position I always thought would terrify me; caught between two volatile dragons. Knowing that Raiden and Stone would turn against their brother when he wasn’t even hurting me, though, that they actually listened when I admitted my fears, and are adamant about enforcing boundaries to keep me comfortable? It has an abundance of foreign emotions warring for dominance that has my head spinning. But feeling Kodiak loosening his hold as all of his previous excitement drains out of him makes something ugly twist in my gut, and I jump to his defense before I even consciously decide to.
“He’s alright, intent’s the biggest thing that bothers me. Huge difference between someone that looks at you like you hung the moon, and an entitled jackass that manhandles you without regard to your feelings. I know that all I’d need to do is speak up and he'd immediately back off. Or take a stab at his spleen.”
Swallowing down my nerves, I tentatively cover Raiden’s hand with my own, meeting his stormy gaze head on. “It means everything that you care enough to come to my defense, and shows that this isn’t some bros before hoes situation. Thank you.”
Slowly, he releases his grip, but I thread my fingers through his before he can pull away. Things were already strained between the three of them before I showed up, so I don’t want to add fuel to the fire by looking like I’m playing favorites.
For being forced to juggle a hell of a lot more balls than I ever signed up for, I think I’m doing a pretty bang up job.
“It’s not like I’m a timid virgin terrified of being touched, Raiden. I have some issues, and with damn good reason, but-” lifting our joined hands, I brush his knuckles over my cheek without once looking away so he can see the sincerity in my eyes “- I’d really like to balance out the shitty memories with some good ones. He startled me, that’s all.”
Sending a look over my shoulder to Stone to make sure he knows he’s included, I offer a weak smile. “After all, didn’t you guys say you’d show me the way I should be treated? Respected first and foremost, but pretty sure that also includes desired.It’s a nice change of pace to be wanted for the right reasons.”
Relief overtakes his anger, and Raiden offers a tip of his head in agreement. While he finishes pulling himself back together, he takes a seat on the coffee table and steals the rest of Stone’s wine, downing it in one gulp. Taking a deep breath and releasing it, he seems as good as new in the blink of an eye, and that’s honestly more concerning to me than anything.
“If we become too overbearing at times, please say something,” he requests. “This is uncharted territory for us as well, and we’re bound to overstep on occasion.”
“Deal, but only if you agree to do the same. If I’m being a pain in the ass, or, I don’t know, clingy, make sure to call me out on it.”
A horrified shudder snakes down my spine imagining that version of myself, but change is inevitable, especially living with three men. Who's to say I won’t unconsciously start adopting new behaviors to fit into their dynamic?
Mark-mates are supposed to be someone’s missing piece, but somehow my jagged edges fit into three different puzzles. It’s hard to imagine that there will be anything left of myself if they’re sucking all of the peace right out of me to fill the hollow voids in their own souls.
“Before your date with Kodi,” Raiden begins, carefully keeping his voice perfectly level. “We came home to a message of sorts.”
