She hates me because she expected me to be different than other female wolves, isn’t that what she said? The designation in the hierarchy isn’t enough, she expected me to break the mold without a blip of information or preparation, holding me to an impossible standard I could never hope to achieve. Maybe if she’d actuallytaughtme a damn thing, I could have had a shot, but is it really any surprise that I failed a test that I wasn’t even aware I was taking and couldn’t study for?
Emmy tucks a lock of damp, blonde hair behind her ear, pinning me with those bright, golden eyes that see far more than anyone gives her credit for. “We’re worried about you. You were alone a hell of a long time, Sabrina, and alphas weren’t made for that life. It’s a miracle you’re as put together as you are. So while you’re sending us away for our own safety, and I agree it’s a smart move... make sure you’re leaning on my brothers in the meantime, okay? And that other mate of yours; hell, snag the other two if you want, and smack some sense into Reid while you’re at it. You need people, even if it seems easier to do everything yourself.”
Blowing out a long breath, I don’t immediately respond. I see what they’re saying, I just don’t particularly like it. But they have a solid point, and I’d be a fool to disregard their advice simply because it’s not what I want to hear.
“Speaking of Reid-” I take a hefty drink “- what the hell do I do about him?”
Thatanimates my companions better than anything, happy to forget all about wolfish politics in favor of boy drama.
Lizzie is the first to throw her two cents into the pot. “That boy’s balked against everything we are since he was born, and removed himself to the fringes since long before their parents went mad. I’m not surprised that of all of them, he’s the one that got cold feet. He clings to the illusion of control tighter than you do; and that’s saying something.”
She ignores the way I flip her off. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad. Igetit, seriously. And I could even make my peace with only being friends if it really came down to it. I suppose it's-” I grimace when the last few drops from my bottle hit my tongue and I only have a mild buzz to speak of, shamelessly snatching another. “It's the fact that he's afraid of me that really rubs me the wrong way. It makes me feel all... gross? Wrong, if that makes any sense? It means that there will always be distance between us even as friends because this will constantly be a threat looming over our heads, even years from now.”
Lizzie hums in contemplation, grabbing a donut. “I get that. You were made to take care of people, and he’s making it difficult. If we ignore the alpha personality and go for the mate factor, it’s like the more you push, the more it feels as if you’re trying to coerce him. That’s likely where the ‘gross’ feeling is coming from.”
Emmy, on the other hand, starts laughing as she chimes in, “I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you and Reid have more in common than you realize. Yet you wrapped your head around not only the fact that you’re one of us, but the first female alpha we’ve ever heard of. You took on my brothers like it was nothing, and still manage to girl-boss the hell out of your new job; one that’s way above what many people would attempt, I might add. So, what is it that made you accept this rather than balk at the idea?”
Mulling it over, I ramble my thoughts aloud. “Because I didn’t have a choice? Denying it wouldn’t have made it go away, and there was no outrunning a problem that would only get off on the chase, so I was better off standing my ground.”
Lizzie smirks. “It’s almost as if women can see ten steps ahead, while men are still stumbling around step number two.”
Emmy bursts out laughing before taking another drink, a touch of color creeping into her cheeks. “Reid likes to think that if he’s determined enough, he can will his wolf out of existence. I love my brother, but he needs a slap of reality to make him realize that his plans don’t mean shit in the grand scheme of things. He’ll do the typical guy thing; hem and haw for a while, be distant, then some trigger will cause him to snap and he’ll get out of his own way. Decide ‘fuck it’ and take what he wants, consequences to be damned. Men are painfully predictable.”
Water sloshes around Lizzie as she grabs another bottle of wine, face flushed. “My money’s on Hunter or Kaige kissing you, and him getting all territorial.”
Rolling my eyes, I redirect, gesturing to Emmy. “And what about you? I haven’t seen you emerge from your sex den in two weeks; are they even feeding you anything besides dick? Is this venting session really a cry for help because your vagina needs a break?”
She laughs so hard that she snorts, sputtering wine and sending the rest of us off in a chain reaction of hysterics until I can barely breathe. Gasping for air, she wheezes, “Hit the nail on the head, babe. It’s been-” shaking her head, she tilts her head up, a genuine smile lighting up her face. “It’s been something else, that’s for damn sure. Sex aside, I’m honestly happy that I chose them. They’re good men, and I’m thrilled to call them mine. I stand by my previous statement; I don’t care where we live, so long as I have them. So send me off to the frigid wilderness, or torch Hawthorne manor and whisk us across the country to Damian Whatshisname’s home, I honestly don’t mind one way or another. They make me happy, so if that means putting up with some drama before we find our peace, I’m okay with that.”
Lizzie coughs into her fist, “Sap.”
Emmy shoves her shoulder and Lizzie goes under, emerging sputtering as the three of us devolve into laughter over every little thing. As Hunter pointed out, we don’t actuallysolveanything, but I still feel a hell of a lot better after bouncing some thoughts around and complaining in a judgment-free zone for a bit.
Bracing myself, I let the alcohol act as encouragement and hastily blurt out, “So how do you go about telling your mates you want to level up and try anal without it turning into a fistfight?”
Chapter 16
