Cin pulls something else from the bag as she stands there, rendered speechless. Sliding to his feet only to crouch beside her, he slides up the hem of her dress to fasten the leather straps around her thigh, offering a holster for the blade.
“Now, I’m not saying Bo’s gift is better by telling you that you shouldn’t wear thisallof the time,” he teases, fingers lingering on her inner thigh, “but you should definitely wear it whenever you’re awake, because it’s sexy as hell.”
Sliding the blade into the thigh strap, she adjusts her dress to cover it, grinning ear to ear. “I’m starting to get on board with this whole gift thing, not gonna lie.” Toying with her necklace again, she shifts her hips so that the hem of her skirt flares out, revealing a hint of the weapon stashed beneath. As if she can hear the reaction her words set off in their brains, she goes stock-still and raises a finger. “Within reason.”
I swear, my brothers don’t hear the protest, lapping up her excitement over things they provided for her like cavemen. She looks so carefree for once, I can’t even fault them for it. Her genuine happiness is rare, but moments like these? It’s like staring directly into the sun.
A pang lances through my chest, forcing me to turn away in the face of the visceral reaction and a second to get my head on straight. She’s simply... perfect.Toofucking perfect, and it’s terrifying. It’s like she was created to be exactly what each of us needs, and now to find out that even if they aren’t genetically related by blood, her mother’s mates have been involved with Stonewood for who knows how long right under all of our noses? It’s too convenient, like we’re missing something obvious. Almost as if we’re being set up better than all of the failed attempts my brothers have handled over the past week, caught in a game of chess without knowing who’s playing us.
For someone who supposedly had no idea what she was until a month ago, she’s certainly adapting in spades.
Because she was raised to be able to. You don’t get dumped in the middle of the woods with only the clothes on your back, maybe a knife if you’re lucky, andnotlearn to work with whatever you’ve got.
Her mom was training her, but the question is, for what? To hide from our kind without being as reliant as our females tend to be, or to be able to think on her feet so that she could destroy us from within?
Stop it. She’s been on her own for years, she’s not some spy sent to infiltrate our ranks. There’s no way that she could have known where Emmy would be assaulted and planted herself nearby to intervene so that she could worm her way into our lives. Sabrina’s more authentic than anyone I’ve ever met, and there’s no way that she’s able to fake that, to have bullshitted all of our interactions up to this point. She’d never have left and holed herself up in her apartment if that were the case.
I’m an asshole, projecting my tumultuous thoughts onto her like I’ve already accepted that she’s my alpha and I need her to take them off of my hands.
“Thank you,” she says, kissing both of my brothers enthusiastically.
This time, as my chest twists with a sinking sensation akin to the drop of an elevator full of pissed off wasps, I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from reacting. Flipping my computer back open as an excuse to ignore the three of them, I switch to autopilot. I bring up the internet and a fresh document, but my fingers move of their own accord as I begin my next search, my mind a million miles away.
It’s not fair to Sabrina after I was the one to push her away to make things even more complicated by sending her mixed messages. I need to keep everything on firm lockdown, be one hundred percent sure on how I want to proceed before I let her see how she affects me. As much as I’m obsessed with her, possibly even in love with her, I can’t pursue anything unless I’m willing to become everything that I swore I never would. After seeing what my fathers did, the way they savagely tore humans apart like they were out of their minds with bloodlust, how can I risk losing myself the same way?
I’m not a feral animal, not a monster. And fuck, that was aswolves, not whatever hell beasts my brothers were harboring, that Sabrina-
That Sabrina created.
There’s no way that those monsters were living within my brothersanda foreign alpha all of this time. Sabrina’s bite... infected them somehow. Twisted them into something darker. This woman was created to drive us all insane, to take everything we know and blow it to high Hell. I just don’t understandwhy,if she’s playing an active part in it or simply a byproduct, as much of a victim in this as we are.
Yet I can’t stay away from her either, can’t fault her for whatever she is any more than I hate myself for being born cursed. How can I resign myself to this fate no matter how much I may love her? But what sort of life am I really even living if it doesn’t include Sabrina? The first night I met her it sparked life into my other half, claiming her as ours then and there. I can’t imagine going back to the way things used to be before her, nor do I want to. She’s changed everything in my life simply by existing, and it’s driving me fucking insane.
I don’t know what to do, so in turn, I keep choosing to do nothing in an attempt to buy myself a little more time before I’m forced to either lose my family, or myself.
A movement in my peripherals draws my eye, only to find Sabrina hard at work, the two of us alone once more. I return to my own efforts, needing to do something productive, but a nagging sensation in the back of my head refuses to let up. The more I attempt to ignore it, the more a splitting headache blossoms in my skull, equivocally cleaving my brain in two as I war with myself, fighting to shove him back in his godsdamned cage where he belongs.
Before the snarl on the tip of my tongue slips out, I relent a fraction. Pinching the bridge of my nose and taking a few deep breaths, I cave into the impulse to watch Sabrina from the corner of my eye.
Only to find her fingers still on her keyboard.
Turning to face her more fully, I attempt to catch her eye, but that unnatural coral gaze is completely glazed over. Sabrina’s as lost in her own head as I’ve been, like there’s something in the air tonight.
“Sabrina.”
She doesn’t respond, and I’m forced to gently shake her shoulder. The second I make contact, I can’t bite back the distressed rumble that escapes from my chest, but it’s cut off in relief when she blinks repeatedly, coming out of it.
“Fuck, sorry.” Rubbing the heel of her hand over her heart, she shakes her head.
It’s what she doesn’t say that has me frowning. No, ‘I must be more tired than I thought,’ or anything of the sort. She offers no pleasantries or dismissives, which arguably means she’s fully aware of whatever caused her to zone out. We go back to work, yet I’m not able to concentrate at all, subtly watching her. Not ten minutes pass by before her fingers slow again, though this time, she’s still typing.
She’s able to revert to autopilot like I can. Fuck, is there anything this womancan’tdo?
Hesitating, I wonder if I’m pushing her too far on the work front. Yet every alpha in this house has taken it upon himself to ensure that she’s taking regular meal breaks, encouraging power naps since we don’t have the time to waste on a full night’s sleep now that we’re tackling our side project on top of Jonathan ignoring our messages. Not if we want to have any hope of actually pulling off this suicidal plan of hers and saving both of our careers. So this isn’t a neglect thing, this is aSabrinathing, another anomaly.
“Sabrina. Are you okay?”
She freezes before plastering a fake smile on her face that instantly raises my hackles, but as soon as she opens her mouth to brush me off, she hesitates and lets the mask fall. Shaking her head again, this time in frustration, she growls, and a small smile twists my lips. As much as everything’s changed, is still changing, the Sabrina I know and love is still in there, the one that wants all of her interactions to be authentic, even if they hurt.
