I already have, though. Dragons can only shift when they find their mate and even if a female were to throw herself naked in front of me tomorrow, I wouldn’t look at her twice. The only power I want is the sort that will fix things so that Saige can come home with us.
She pulls away from Kahl a little while later and I reluctantly pick up the duffel bag and pass it her way. She adjusts the strap, fiddling with it and delaying the inevitable. We all know that this goodbye is final, and if my idea actually worked, we won’t be able to track her again. She’ll disappear, as invisible as she always wanted to be.
“No need to look like you’re going to a funeral,” she tries to joke, but it misses the mark. “You’ve got to get ready for Boris to strike back after all.”
“You remember what I told you?” Kaiden asks instead, muscles coiled so tightly I’m surprised they don’t snap.
She nods, looking serious. “Stab first, don’t bother asking questions later. Just run.”
He jerks his head in approval, and I think I might even hear his teeth crack with how tightly he’s clenching his jaw. “And don’t look back or give them an opening. You’re tiny; use that to your advantage. You’re a small target, which makes you harder to hit.”
Her finger starts tapping against her thigh, but I refrain myself from reaching out. It’s not my place, and the habit will only continue to help her. Knowing she isn’t tracking anything, that she also does that when memories threaten to overwhelm her, makes it difficult not to intervene, though. But it’s not anything I can fix, even if she were to stay.
No wonder she wants to leave us, thinks we can’t protect her. We don’t have the first clue how to help her and she knows it.
She sighs before steeling herself and I just continue to be impressed by how much fight is hiding in that frail body. “Tell Eli I’m sorry. I should have left him a note too, and I regret it. Make sure to let him know they were my hang ups, it was nothing against him. And just because I’m not there anymore doesn’t mean you guys should all just go back to working as hard as you were; he’s alone too much and misses you.”
Meeting each of our eyes in challenge, she makes sure we see the conviction in hers. “Family’s important. I know you don’t see it, but you get so caught up in your own lives and worrying about Ezra, you forget that he needs you too. I’d give anything to have my family back; don’t take yours for granted.” She hikes the strap higher on her shoulder. “Take care of yourselves, okay?”
Kaiden growls, and at this point I’m convinced he’s more animal than man. “Don’t worry about us. You have enough shit to deal with as it is.”
She gives him a sad smile before trusting us with her back, walking away. I memorize every inch of her, wanting to preserve her in my memory. Because Saige? She’s going to haunt me for years to come, so I might as well ensure I do her vision justice.
Kahl is far too quiet, saying nothing, and turns away first, starting the long trek home. Kaiden follows behind him, but I stay rooted to the spot, staring at her until she’s nothing more than a speck in the distance before catching up with my brothers, leaving a part of me behind.
“We’ll never know what happened to her,” I lament. “Won’t know if she’s dead or alive, if she found somewhere to call home.”
Kahl’s always been our glue, keeping our family together when it was on the brink of falling apart, but even that doesn’t feel like enough anymore. “She’s going to be okay,” he lies to himself as much as the rest of us. “If she can survive that hellish prison, she’s stronger than any of us anyway.”
And that’s the end of it, the three of us well aware there’s nothing to say that could make anything better. Someone once said that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but that guy was a damn liar.
Because this fucking hurts.
Chapter 6
Saige
