Swallowing, I try to fight through the stinging rejection to sound calm, but fuck; Luce makes this look so much easier than it really is. “We’re on the same side, Dorian. It’s not fae against human, or anyone belonging to anyone else. Family we chose, right? And all the ugly sides that come with that. You were fine with me being different, so why would this change anything?”
He looks to the side, hurt emanating off of him in tangible waves. “Because it feels like we’re getting left behind. You have this amazing legacy, the conquering hero home at last. And now, Lucien is changing too. But Atlas and I? We’re the same, riding your coattails to stay relevant.” He sighs heavily. “Like novelty sidekicks that are here for decoration and offer really nothing.”
I cross the room, sitting beside him and reach for his hand. He still doesn’t meet my eye, and I don’t push him, not yet. With a feather-light touch, I trace my finger over the scars on the back of his hand, toying with it like he always does for me.
“Who said your value was tied to what you provided other people?” He looks up, bright blue eyes haunted with shadows that I understand far too well. “I loveyou,Dorian.” I turn to face Atlas, including him in my declaration. “Both of you. And it’s not because of what you can do for me, it’s because you choose to be with me even when things are hard. I’m a fucking mess, and you don’t hold any of it against me. When have I ever given off the impression I was only here so long as you were useful? You three are the ones that stalked me home and got us into this situation in the first place, yet I still suck your dicks. So forgive me if I’m missing the point you’re trying to make.”
He huffs out a laugh, some of his anger leaving with it. “When did you get so philosophical?”
Shrugging, I kiss his cheek. “It’s the multiple personality disorder. Might as well get used to it, because I’m not going anywhere. And I hope you don’t either.”
He flops back on the bed and Atlas curses as the wind is knocked out of his stomach from the force of Dorian’s head. “We should have guessed you were some kind of magical warden. Invisible chains are your specialty,” he jabs, lifting his hand in the air and I flick his side.
“Excuse you, but I didn’t do that. That was all Rickon.” At the reminder, some of the jovial air I was accomplishing dissipates.
That relationship was even more of a complicated enigma, and I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it anymore. I detested him as long as I can remember, but if I had known then what I do now, would I have seen things differently? Shaking my head, I push the thoughts to the recesses of my mind.
‘What ifs’ do no one any good.
“So what now?” Atlas asks, and I’m taking it as a good sign. He doesn’t sound upset, just ready to move on from all of the heavy stuff.
Lucien stands up. “First things first, we need to see if the safe is salvageable. The emergency personnel should be gone by now, and if anything survived, I don’t want anyone to get their hands on it. At this point, I’m tempted to just burn the contents and be done with it. So we need to make a quick trip back to get that squared away, check in with Jeremy to see if he’s found any new information, and then we can deal with things here.”
“Elorie was only siphoning power from me every couple of months after I moved out. So if she was funneling some of it back to the prison, we should have some time before shit really hits the fan; it hasn’t been that long since last time.”
Atlas shoves Dorian off of him so he can get up. “I’d rather go now than risk spending the night. Achlys claims we’re free to go, but I’d like to test that theory with as much as she’s going out of her way to convince you to stay. No use letting our guards down, because right now, this place is everything we were hoping it would be.”
Dorian nods. “And if anything, that makes it more suspicious. I don’t know what I’d do if a day went by withoutsomebodytrying to kill us.”
Chapter 11
Dorian
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“Motherfucker.”
