I swipe away a tear from my cheek when there is a knock at the door. I ignore it, reaching for a pair of jeans and folding them into my case.
‘Al!’ Spence’s voice. I stand still, heart pounding. ‘Al, open up! It’s me!’
I pull back the corner of the curtain, sinking with relief when I see it’sjusthim.
‘You left?’ he says, eyebrow raised.
‘Yep.’ I tuck my hand into my pocket. ‘Georgia said she was fine, so…’ I trail off. ‘It looked like it went well?’ I question, even though the words are thick in my throat.
‘Yeah… they’ve… they’ve gone to get ice-cream.’
‘Good. That’s good. Sorry, I’m just packing. I need to go soon.’
‘Can we just talk first?’
‘Sure. I’m just upstairs,’ I say, already turning. Spence follows me, my case open on the bed. I grab a T-shirt, shoving it inside.
‘Al?’ He strides across the room, hand running through his hair, then takes my hands. ‘Slow down.’
‘I can’t. I need to go.’ He opens my fist, frowning at whatever is scrunched inside, then realises it’s a pair of black knickers and swiftly drops them onto my bed.
‘Just take a second. Sit.’ He slumps onto the bed, takes off his glasses and cleans them with the edge of his black T-shirt.
‘Why is this so important to you?’ he asks, sliding his glasses onto the bridge of his nose. He looks tired.
My chest is tight. It’s solstice tomorrow. I need to leave today. It’s a four-hour drive and I want to be there first thing.
I stare at him. ‘You know why.’
‘I don’t think I do.’
‘I need to find him. I need the end of the story. I need?—’
‘What?’ He looks up. ‘What is it that you think meeting him will fix?’
I give a sharp laugh. ‘Everything.’
He flinches.
‘This…’ I flick my hand towards the case, the notes scattered around the room. ‘This is the thing that saves me. If I don’t get this story right, then I have nothing, Spence. Nothing.’
He stands, hands on his hips. ‘That’s not true.’
‘It is.’ My voice wavers, despite my best efforts to keep it steady. ‘Michael understands me, heseesme. He?—’
‘He doesn’t even know you!’
‘He does!’ I snap. ‘He knows the real me.’
Spence exhales slowly, like he’s counting to ten. ‘He’s writing to someone else, Al. Not you.’
My throat is burning. ‘You don’t know that.’
‘Can you hear yourself right now?’ Spence’s voice is dangerously calm.
‘I have to do this,’ I say quietly. ‘Please, Spence, try to understand. I need the ending, otherwise all of this—’ I gesture a little helplessly ‘—will have been for nothing.’ I look down at my fingers gripping the duvet. ‘Fate brought me to this address for a reason. I need to find out the truth. If I was there?—’
‘Ibrought you to this address.’
