He laughs. “Friends? Is that what we are?”
“Well. If I lived any closer, you would be my egg dealer, but since I don’t, friends will have to do.”
His chuckle on the other side is soft. “I can do friends for now then.”
“Wait, you said you added a new part of your garden. Tell me about it. I’ll live vicariously through you until I can have my own garden.”
His smile is almost audible. “It’s this little wildflower garden around the chicken pen. It’s kind of a mess, but I love it and it’ll be good for pollinators.”
“Send me pictures tomorrow.”
“I will.”
“Alright. I’m home. I should let you go. Goodnight Tanner.”
“Goodnight Han.”
I throw my phone into my bag and when I open her door, Winnie is stretching in her seat, looking younger than she did justan hour ago. Eyes squinting and mouth pursed. It reminds me of those early days after she was born.
I got pregnant my senior year of college and at his parent’s insistence, Ethan and Igot married that summer.He had just passed the bar, and his parents didn’t want to bring any negative attention to the family business which was rich considering that was their entire business. The Forrest Defense Attorneys at Law are known for their massive billboards lining the freeways in and out of Chicago and for representing people in the most damned of situations all over the midwest. Often guilty criminals looking for loopholes in the justice system.
Ethan would come home late and claim he couldn’t tell me about his day because it was confidential. Even the mundane things I would beg to hear about, he would brush off. He would take a whiskey into his office and leave me with the messy house that was a result of being a single parent of a newborn.
“Mommy,” Winnie grumbles now, eyes blinking open.
“What’s up bug?”
“Who’s Tanner?”
I unbuckle her belt. “It’s Uncle Rhett’s friend.”
“His name is on your phone a lot.”
“It’s just Uncle Rhett’s friend,” I insist.
Her little face crinkles in confusion but she doesn’t ask any more questions. I barely even get her into her bed before she is sound asleep again, still in her too small dress.
After my shower, there is a glass of wine waiting for me on the counter, my parents haveDatelinepaused, and my life continues, as usual. Dull. Flat. Gray. Numb.
The only difference between today, and every other Friday night for the past six months, is that I'm ending this night divorced. My bare left finger no longer feels misleading, but like another bit of baggage. Legally lonely, with no idea what’s next.
After the credits roll, I find Winnie, in my bed, with her face smooshed into my pillow.
“Mommy,” her voice croaks as I crawl in next to her.
“What, baby?”
“Is Daddy going to get better?”
“Better?”
“You know, be a better daddy? Like Grampy?”
“Grampy is a good daddy, isn’t he?”
“Yeah.” She snuggles into my side. “And you’re a good mommy.”
Tears well up in my eyes, but I just place more kisses in her hair and thank God that even with all the hell Ethan has put me through, that at least I got the greatest human to ever exist out of it. I would go through it a million times over just for this moment alone.
