His brows furrow and he peers over at me. “Alright. Wanna explain why you’re being an idiot and maxing out weights without anyone to spot you?”
“Not particularly.”
I tug off my shirt and use it to wipe the sweat from my neck and shoulders.
Felix sighs solemnly. “Is this about Carlos?”
I throw my shirt in his face and shove to my feet. “I’ll catch you later.”
Of course, escaping my best friend isn’t that easy. Felix is hot on my heels as I storm out of the gym. “We made a deal, asshole,” he calls out behind me. I ignore him. This isn’t the same thing.
Felix runs to catch up and stops in front of me, shoving me back before stabbing his finger into my chest. “We have an agreement,cabrón.”Fucker.“You can’t just all of a sudden decide to go back on it. That’s not how family works.”
I bark out a laugh. “Fuck you, Felix.”
He pulls back like I hit him. “What the hell is your deal, man?”
My mouth fills with acid.Fuck!Felix doesn’t deserve my anger. I know he’s only looking out, but I can’t deal with this shit right now.
“Nothing,” I brush past him, my shoulder knocking into his. “Forget what I said. I gotta go.”
Felix makes no move to follow me, and I exhale a breath of relief as I cut across the parking lot to where I left my bike. I throw my leg over my CBR1000 and reach for my helmet when Felix calls out, “Your ass better be going straight to the Pier.”
I glance in his direction, shielding my face from the sun as I shake my head.
He walks toward me. I consider throwing on my helmet and just getting the hell out of there, but I know how Felix operates, and his bike is parked only a few spots away. He’ll chase my ass and tail me around town until I give up and stop running. His persistence is one of the fuckers best qualities. It’s also what makes him so damn frustrating to deal with sometimes.
“I’ll meet up with you later,” I say, but judging by the look on his face, he’s not having it.
“Not good enough. Bad shit is going on in that head of yours. I already messaged Julio?—“
“Dammit.”
“—and he’s on his way. You know the deal.”
I tilt my head back and stare up at the sky, ignoring the blinding sun as I silently curse the universe for giving me good fucking friends. Felix stands there and waits, knowing I’ll give in and do what he’s asking. That was the deal we made. When shit gets hard, we meet at the Pier. Nothing and no one can touch us there.
We stumbled upon it one day when we were kids, out riding our bikes. I think we were maybe twelve at the time, and back then we thought it was the coolest place on the planet.
It's not anything special. An oversized dock with rickety planks that juts out from shore. There used to be restaurants, shopping, and even an arcade, but all of the businesses are boarded up now. And have been since long before we found it. It’s Richland’s very own mini ghost town. But for us, it’s a sanctuary.
Only this time is different.
I don’t need a heart-to-heart with my boys about a break-up. Or advice about how to navigate my parents’ divorce.
What I need right now is to be alone. Not at the Pier. Not working through my feelings. I want to figure out how to stop feeling like this. Like my heart is seconds away from tearing a hole in my chest.
It’s pure fucking agony.
This feeling consumes every viable part of me. Shredding my skin. Eviscerating my soul. I can’t deal with it right now. And I sure as shit don’t want to talk about it.
All I can think about is finding my brother. About losing my other fucking half. He killed a part of me too that day, and I’m drowning in the loss all over again. Relieving the days that led up to his death. The fights. The secrets. The vile words we threw at one another.
I didn’t realize the shit he was going through. I thought he was being stupid. Reckless. He never opened up. He was like a fucking tornado that entire last year. Blowing in and out however he pleased, uncaring of the destruction he left in his wake.
But when he needed me, when he all but begged me for help, I didn’t hear him. I ignored the signs. I knew shit was bad. But there was no way to know what he was going to do.
But I should have. I knew Carlos better than anyone else. I should have seen it. Should have known he was steps away from walking off the cliff.
