Between the drugs and the parties, it was obvious he was spiraling. But we all assumed he’d bounce back. Sooner or later, he’d hit rock bottom. And I told myself when he did, I’d be there to help him up. He was my brother. I had his back. Always. No matter what.
Until I fucking didn’t.
My hands clench around the helmet in my hands. I’m so pissed at him for what he did. He left. Took the coward’s way out without so much as a backwards glance.
But I miss him. And I’m furious with myself for not finding a way to make him stay.
“Gabe—“ Felix’s expression softens.
Shit.How long have I been in my own head?
“Twenty-minutes. That’s all we’re giving you.”
I stare at my friend in confusion. Did I ask that out loud?
“Ride. Blow off some steam. But if you’re not there in twenty, we’re coming after you.”
I huff out a breath and give in before my composure has a chance to slip any further. “Fine.” A cold breeze blows around me, but I barely register it despite my naked chest. Throwing on my helmet, I kick up my kickstand and start the engine. Felix takes a few steps back, giving me room to maneuver the bike before I clamp down on the clutch, hit the gas, and tear out of there.
Wind slams into me and I hunch my shoulders forward, hugging the gas tank between my thighs as I weave through traffic, searching for the exit that will take me on the outer loop of town.
As soon as I’ve escaped the highway, I gun the gas and fly forward, everything around me morphing into a blur. I don’t want to think about shit with my brother, but now Cecilia is here and I’m drowning all over again.
I don’t know if I can help her. And it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want me to. But, I think I owe it to my brother to try.
CHAPTER 10
CECILIA
Idon’t see Gabriel the rest of the week. If I had to guess, it’s intentional on his part. He’s avoiding me. Not that I let myself dwell on it, or on his words from Monday at the pool.
I just … can’t. Not when I’m barely keeping my shit together.
I’m losing time. It’s happened before, but this time it’s worse.
One second, I’m changing back into my clothes in the women’s locker room, and the next I’m home, lying in my bed.
I don’t remember the drive. Or getting home and walking up the stairs to my room. I don’t remember any of it.
I lost over an hour that day. But what’s more concerning are the days after. There’s something wrong with me. It’s like I’m in a haze. I don’t recall attending my classes last week. I have notes so I was there, and I must have paid attention. But, I don’trememberany of it. Not the lectures. The assignments. Nothing.
I eat little and I sleep even less. Neither of which are new. Not since … well, you know. But this seems worse. I barely remember last week and the weekend is little more than a blur. I’m pretty sure I stayed in my room for most of it, not bothering to venture out for even a swim.
I think Mom talked to me at some point, but I have no clue what about.
Rationally, I know I should tell someone. I do. But I know what comes next and it’s not something I want to deal with right now. I’m still trying to find a sense of normalcy, and I can’t handle the freak out that will ensue if I tell my parents what’s going on with me. They worry enough as it is.
Better to just add this to my already long list of things I’m choosing to ignore. I’m aware it’s not healthy, but it’s life. Sometimes you just suck it up to survive.
Sighing, I grab my bag and cut across the parking lot to my first class of the day. I’ve been walking into the communications building each day in an exhausted state of paranoia, just waiting for Austin to jump out at me.
We don’t have any classes together.Thank god.But we both have morning classes in this building, making him virtually impossible to avoid.
Holding my breath, my gaze darts around the hallway, but there’s no sign of him. Not taking any chances, I dart through the halls, careful to keep my head down.
Foreboding niggles at me with each step I take and as I turn the first corner I catch sight of Austin. Shit.
“CeCe,” he calls out, immediately spotting me.
