I stand there, stunned. I expected her anger. Her fury and hatred even. But I was prepared to fight for her. To convince her of my innocence. Now, I don’t know what to do. My mind is left reeling. She knows I didn’t cheat but she still doesn’t want me. I’m not worth the effort, I guess. Not worth her time. And that she even considered keeping Luis from me…
I bite the inside of my cheek harder until blood pools in my mouth, the metallic taste grounding me.
She clears her throat. “Everything you’ll need should be in the bag, but if it isn’t, call me.”
I nod my head.
“He ate about thirty minutes ago so he should be okay for at least another hour.”
I nod again.
“Oh, and he’s happy and awake now but he usually takes his second nap around two, so you’ll notice he’ll start to get crabby. Hischupeta”—pacifier—“is in the right-side pocket and his blanket is in the large compartment. He won’t sleep without both of them.”
I know all of this already, having picked most of it up during our time together, but I let her run through her list before she tells Luis goodbye.
“Alright. I guess we’ll be on our way.”
“Okay.”
Fuck. Fine. This is not how I planned shit to go. I turn and take two steps towards the SUV when Bibi calls out, “Wait,” and I freeze thinking maybe she’s changed her mind. Maybe—
She rushes to me and gives Luis a quick kiss on the cheek, running her hand lovingly over his hair. “Okay.” She seems to gather herself. “Have a great time together. And if you need—”
“Bibi…”
She pauses. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m not changing my mind. It’s your day with him.” She visibly swallows. “I know he’s safe with you. Just ignore me.”
“I’ll bring him back at seven.”
Another nod. “Okay. Thanks.” She gives me a forced smile and this time when I turn to leave, she doesn’t stop me.
Fuck. I wish she did.
Thirty-one
Watching Emilio leave with Luis is torture. Not only because my heart is breaking or because it’s hard sharing Luis, but also because any thoughts I had of the three of us being a family, a real family, have been shattered.
Hope—that one word means so much, and I now have none of it.
We’re not a couple anymore. I don’t know that we ever really were. What we are is co-parents. Two people who need to navigate parenting our child responsibly as a unit.
I watched the videos. Read the books. Listened to the podcasts about effective co-parenting. Anything I could get my hands on this weekend, I binged it. And the biggest take away from them all was how complicated having a romantic relationship with the other parent is. How detrimental it can be to your child’s well-being if things don’t work out. How it’s safest and often best to just shelf any ideas of a romance and focus on your child’s needs. So that’s what I’m going to do.
Luis has to come first. Always.
I won’t lie, I’m relieved Emilio didn’t cheat. Relieved he wasn’t hooking up with Sarah Draven or anyone else all this time behind my back. Truly, I am. But, this is for the best. Even if it sucks. Even if it feels like my insides are being ripped out of my chest. The pain will go away eventually, right? I mean, it has to. Isn’t that how the saying goes? Everything gets better with time? That’s all I need. More time.
School is strange the following week. Allie is still my friend. So are Kasey and Aaron, but things are noticeably different. I arrive to school on time as usual and take Luis with me to first period. Like the other days before, Dominique greets me once the bell rings and takes Luis for second since he has a non-schedule.
“Everything good?” he asks. And while innocent enough, it feels like a loaded question.
I force a smile past my lips. “Yeah. Great.”
His dark brown eyes drill into me and I can see the wordliarhanging in the air between us. Thankfully, he keeps it to himself.
“I’ll see you at lunch.”
I swallow hard and nod, wondering if maybe I should just keep Luis. This is awkward, to say the least. I don’t want him to feel obligated to help me especially now that Emilio and I aren’t well anything.
