I sniff, willing the tears pricking the corners of my eyes not to fall.
"But those two girls are the loves of my life. And I'll never stop being there for them, no matter what does or doesn't happen between Abby and me. Being in their lives is the best thing to ever happen to me. Anything else is just an extra blessing to be thankful for."
The room falls into a pensive silence, and I stare at my hands, waiting patiently, hopefully, that I'm not about to lose two of the most important people in my life.
"You know, son," Alan says gruffly, my head snapping up at the endearment. "I had a friend like you. His name was Mike. He was at my house so much that eventually he just started calling my parents mom and dad."
"Oh, Mike," Andrea sighs, smiling softly. "That man."
"Mike was the first person I introduced Andrea to, the only opinion I really cared about," he continues. "I would have protected him with my life, and I know he would have done the same for me."
I nod, grateful that I'm not being yelled at or kicked out, but wondering where he's going with this.
"No one was more excited for us when Andrea got pregnant with Aaron," he says with a grin. "I thought the house was going to collapse from all his hooting and hollering."
"He might actually be more like your friend David," Andrea muses. "In terms of personality, at least."
"He sounds wonderful," I say, nervously waiting for some shoe to drop.
"If anything had ever happened to me," he says roughly. "He would have taken care of them. No question about it. Just like you've taken care of Abby and Erin."
My breath catches in my chest, but I try to tamper down the hope rising in me.
"I wouldn't have wanted Andrea to be alone," he says, looking at his wife with a painful expression, like even the thought is enough to bring him to his knees. "I wouldn't have wanted her to go unloved the rest of her life. And if Mike would have been the one to love her," he continues, turning his attention to me, an adamant expression on his face. "I wouldn't have trusted anyone more."
The well of emotions I've fought so hard to keep contained since the day Aaron died finally breaks, and I feel my face crumple.
"It's okay, son," Alan says, coming to perch on the arm of the chair and wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders while sobs wrack through my body. "All of it. Everything you've said, everything you feel, everything you might have planned. It's okay."
"You've always been like a second son to us," Andrea says softly, reaching over to grab my hand. "We know you, know your heart and your character. And Abby will always be our daughter. There's no parent in the world that wouldn't want a man like you caring for their girl."
"Like I said," I croak, trying to regain my composure. "We haven't talked about it. I don't know if anything will even happen, or when that might be. If she feels like she won't ever be able to move on, that's okay. I'll love her anyway."
"She wouldn't be moving on, dear," Andrea says. "She would just be moving forward. And I think it would be a lovely thing if the two of you could move forward together."
Chapter 47
Abby
Ten Months
Arustling noise wakes me up, and I peek one eye open to see who dares disturb my slumber after my sweet, darling angel–who has never done anything wrong–woke up every single hour last night for some godforsaken reason.
I see the butterfly mobile, a clock that reads 3:30 a.m., the slats of a crib, and a tall man resting his forearms on the railing. Which tells me that one, I did not fall asleep in my bed, I fell asleep on the couch in the nursery, and two, Jack is the reason I’m awake right now.
Just as I gear up for a whisper-yell tirade, I hear him murmuring something so quietly I can barely hear him.
“Be good for your mom, okay pretty girl? I’m on a double-shift, but I’ll be thinking about you every second. I love you.”
He turns away from where Erin is sleeping soundly (like she didn’t do sleep deprivation torture on me all night), and startles when he realizes I’m awake.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, stooping to kneel next to my makeshift bed. “I thought you were conked out, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper in return. “Do you always say goodbye to Erin when you leave for work?”
“Most days,” he shrugs. “Especially when it’s early and you’re both still sleeping. Sometimes I peek in your room to say goodbye to you, too.”
“Jack Robbit, you old softy,” I tease, but my heart is full to bursting. “Just for that, I’ll forgive you for waking me up.”
