"He's done it again," Andrea says with a smile. "Jack, I can't thank you enough for your help."
"I could have done it," Alan grumbles.
"Not without putting yourself in the hospital," she scolds.
"It's no trouble, really," I say, loading the tools I used back into their box. "I'm happy to do it."
"Will you stay for a glass of sweet tea?" Andrea asks, already halfway to grabbing the pitcher from the kitchen.
"I'd like that," I say, sitting in an armchair and taking a moment to admire my handiwork. "I actually was hoping," I begin, clearing my throat to calm my nerves. "I was hoping I could talk to you guys about something."
"Of course you can," she says kindly, passing out the glasses of tea and sitting on the couch. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything is great," I say. "It's nothing bad, don't worry."
"Alright son, lay it on us," Alan says, slapping his hands down on his thighs.
Son.That's exactly how they've treated me from the first time I came over to hang out with Aaron. Granny was and is the only parent I'll ever need, but knowing I had the Thompsons in my corner, being welcomed in like that—it healed something in me I can't quite put into words.
Will that change after this?
"Well, as you know," I say. "I've been helping Abby out a fair amount over the past year and a half."
"Thank you for that, by the way," Alan says, his voice constricting, Andrea nodding vigorously in agreement. "You didn't have to do that, no one ever would have asked that of you. But I'd be lying if I said I don't thank the good Lord every night for the way you've shown up for her. And for Erin."
"You don't have to thank me," I mumble, cheeks heating slightly at the earnest gratitude from them both. "I've been happy to do it."
"Now that the baby's older, I hope you know you can take a step back," Andrea says. "I'm sure it's not easy trying to balance work, and a social life, and caring for a mom and her newborn. We know how incredibly special you are to Abby, and how special you were to Aaron. But you don't have to shoulder it all, we're all a team here."
"Well," I say, inhaling deeply and mustering the courage for this conversation. "That's kind of the thing. I've been more than happy to do it, and I—" I pause, swallowing nervously. "I'd like to keep doing it. For the long haul. For as long as they want me to."
They both go still as statues, staring at me wordlessly.
"The thing is," I continue. "I've never really had a solid plan for my life. Maybe because my life started on such a shaky foundation. But I like to think I've always been a man of action. Once I make a decision, I want to stick to it. I decided where I wanted to go to school and only applied to one place. I decidedI want to be a firefighter and I applied for the fire academy the very next day. I decided to help Abby, and I did."
They continue staring at me in stunned silence.God I wish they'd say something.
"But, the last year has changed me. It's got me wanting to make plans," I say, unable to stop the smile forming at the thought of making plans with Abby. "Plans that involve Abby and Erin. Plans that include loving them both until my very last breath."
Andrea lets out a whimper, her hand flying to her mouth and eyes going wide. Alan's face remains unreadable.
"I know that's what Aaron and Abby had planned from the beginning," I say, pain wrenching in my chest. "It's the cruelest fucking thing in the world that his last breath came so soon. I know that was never in anyone's plans."
Alan rises from his chair and takes a seat close to his wife, taking her hand in his and holding it tightly.
"And I hope you believe me when I say this," I plead, hoping desperately that they can see the truth in my eyes. "This wasn't in my mind at all when I started helping Abby in the beginning. They're my two best friends, and that's all I ever wanted to be. I never considered anything else once, not even a fleeting thought."
"Of course we know that," Andrea whispers, mercifully breaking the silence. "You never would have done anything to hurt Aaron. To hurt either of them."
"Thank you," I say, my voice breaking. "I don't want you to think I was biding my time, or waiting for some illicit opportunity. I would have cared for Abby and Erin the exact same way even if I hadn't fallen in love with her."
There it is. Out loud. The words that have been consuming my every waking moment for months.
I'm wholeheartedly, desperately, utterly in love with her.
"I haven't talked to her about this yet," I add. "But she knows. She absolutely knows. And she knows that I'll follow her lead when, or if, she ever wants to talk about it. But I think we will, eventually. And I hope that when we do, you'll know that there hasn't been a single second where we've forgotten about Aaron. We talk about him all the time,miss himall the time. I think the only reason we've survived any of this is because we had each other."
"I'm not trying to replace Aaron," I conclude. "I never would. He will always be the love of her life, and he willalwaysbe my best friend."
