“At least once a day, I start feeling nervous. Like, this thing with us might be too good to be true. I’m really happy, but it’s like I’m holding my breath waiting for some shit to happen.”
Canyon grabbed her hand. “And that’s what you need to stop. Seriously, we’re going to be fine. Just enjoy the feeling of bliss because nothing is going to happen that we can’t fix.”
Yohana leaned over and kissed him. Canyon was everything that she could want in a man. She didn’t care about the things he had. He was a man. He made her feel beautiful, special, and desired, plus he gave her earth shattering orgasms, and he was fine as all the fuck. To put the icing on the cake, his divorce was almost final. As was hers with Zone. Things couldn’t be better, and she could only pray that things stayed that way.
CHAPTER 25
“Why you sitting over there lookingall crazy?” Raven’s cousin Andrea asked her.
The two had met up for seafood. Andrea needed a job so instead of a formal interview, Raven decided to link with her and discuss the opening that she had at the recovery house. Business was booming, and Raven had no less than four lash appointments a week. She was doing well, and she could afford to hire one more person. She was hesitant to hire friends and family, but she wasn’t too worried about Andrea. She had worked at the post office for six years. Andrea wasn’t lazy, and she didn’t mind working. Raven couldn’t pay her as good as the post office did, but Andrea was cool with it. When she stopped working, her husband took over the bulk of the bills. She was no longer happy at the post office, and he kept stressing to her that her happiness was more important than her having a ‘good job.’
“My period is four days late. I took a test before I came here, and it’s positive.”
Andrea’s eyes widened. “Is it Xander’s?”
Raven shook her head no. “It’s a guy that I’ve been seeing named Diric.”
Andrea sipped her tea. “Well being that you and Xander haven’t been broken up that long, I’m going to assume this happened fast. Are you happy? How do you think he will take the news?”
Raven wrung her hands together nervously. “I’m too scared to be happy. You know my history with miscarriages. I don’t even know why I keep allowing myself to get pregnant. I swear if I miscarry this time, I’m getting that shit in my arm that lasts for five years.”
“Don’t think like that, Raven. You don’t need to stress about anything. I’m glad you’re willing to hire me because this is the perfect time. Whatever you need me to do, I got you. I know you love being hands on with your business, but you need to relax way more and stress way less. And I’m not that person that will slack and do a half-ass job because we’re related.”
“I know,” Raven replied in a small voice. She hated that instead of just being happy, she was mentally trying to prepare herself not to go crazy when or if she lost the baby. If she did miscarry this would be miscarriage number three. That would mess her up terribly.
Raven and Andrea talked and finished their food. Andrea was going to start work the next day, and Raven was going to start her off at $14 an hour. Business was even going so well, that Raven was thinking of buying another house and making it recovery home number 2. This next house needed to have five bedrooms, that way she could have up to 10 girls at a time. No one could have a private room unless they paid double for it, and there were some girls that were willing to do that.
Back at her house, Raven texted Diric and told him that they needed to talk face to face. Things had been going well since they made up. They had been getting along, and they hadn’t had any more issues with his anger. Diric was getting money, so it took him a few hours to come through.
“What a nigga did now?” he joked, but then he noticed the serious expression that Raven wore. “Shit, I did something for real?”
She shook her head and sat on the couch. “Well, you didn’t do it by yourself. I took a test this morning. I’m pregnant.”
Diric wasn’t sure what to say. Like Raven, he was scared to do the baby thing, but his was for a different reason than hers. He didn’t discredit her feelings and what she’d been through but to him, losing a child after it was already born had to be way harder than miscarrying. He had actually held his son in his arms. He fed him, bathed him, and loved on him while he was outside of his mother’s womb. Losing him was the hardest thing that Diric ever did. He knew women that had lost multiple kids to violence, accidents, health issues, and he really didn’t understand how they were still sane. He was strong for sure, but Diric didn’t think he was strong enough to go through such a loss more than once.
Raven took Diric’s silence as something negative. “I understand you might not want a child right now. With my luck?”
“Chill,” he cut her off. He didn’t even want to hear it. “You gotta stop speaking like that. It is what it is. God don’t make no mistakes. I’m here. Through whatever.”
“I called my doctor and due to my history, she wants me to come in early in the morning. More than likely, I’ll be considered high risk, and I’ll need to take it easy for the first few months.”
“Bet. I’ll go with you in the morning. Whatever you need, I got you.”
“Thank you.”
“What you thanking me for, shorty? It’s my baby, right? I don’t get a thank you for doing what I’m supposed to do.”
Raven felt blessed to have Diric in her corner, but she was too nervous to fully express it. Everyone told her to be positive, butit was hard when she was traumatized. Raven literally felt like she had PTSD. Now, every time she went to the bathroom, she’d be expecting to see blood. Every little cramp, she would fear the worst. She wished it wasn’t like that, but it was. The first time, she made it to nine weeks before she miscarried. The second time, she was only six weeks. Raven miscarried three days after finding out she was pregnant. This time, she would be a nervous wreck until she at least made it to ten weeks, and that was a long time to be a nervous wreck.
Diric could sense that Raven was uneasy, so he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and spoke into her ear. “I got you.”
She believed him, but that didn’t mean he could stop something from happening if their baby wasn’t meant to be.
Canyon sat in his den staring out of the huge window. Something was going on. He had called his plug to arrange the next trip to Colombia, and the call went straight to voicemail. He still had 100 pounds left, but in two weeks, it would be the week that he sold work. Between Amar, Diric and his other clientele, 100 pounds wouldn’t hardly be enough. Amar and Diric got priority over everyone else, and they would clean him out of the 100 pounds easy. Canyon knew that his plug was human. He was a man with a wife and more than a few kids, so him not answering one call wasn’t the end of the world. He just couldn’t explain the uneasy feeling that he had. Canyon tried to shake off the way that he was feeling. He would give it another day before he called back.
His burner phone rang in his hand, and he knew that it must be Haseef. He didn’t recognize the number, but it was a Columbian number. It wasn’t unusual for Haseef to switch upthe numbers he called Canyon on, so Canyon answered with no hesitation.
“Did someone call for Haseef?”
