“I need your help, Blaze,” I admit quietly as I drop my head.
I haven’t spoken to him since I killed Drake, and I haven’t even personally dialed his number in who knows how fucking long.
“I’m in town,” he admits, “Got in about half an hour ago, my room number is 112.”
“I’ll be five minutes,” I say before hanging up, and I stand as I put the photo in my pocket. I grab my cut off the back of the couch as my eyes travel to our room, and I swallow hard yet again.
Fuck.
Taking a deep breath, I grab my keys and walk out.
I need to get my head sorted before I can have a full conversation with my girl. I don’t want her to believe I don’t want this baby. Even though I didn’t see kids in my future, I’ve envisioned her pregnancy, I just didn’t expect it this soon.
Fuck me and my super sperm.
***
“What the fuck are you doing in town?” I ask as soon as Blaze opens the door, and the fucker just smirks.
“Came to convince you to come home,” he admits, and I scoff as I shove him aside and storm into the room before pacing and he questions, “Brother?”
I stop and look at a now concerned-looking Blaze, and I choke, “I want a line,” and he freezes.
“Where in the fuck is your girl?” he demands as he shuts the door, and I admit, “At home, asleep.”
“Okay, first, it isn’t your home, it’s just a place you both are laying your heads,” he snaps as he points at me, “Two, why in the fuck haven’t you woken her if you need a line? You know she’s your rock.”
“Because I don’t want to break her heart,” I whisper, and he narrows his light green eyes.
“Please fucking tell me you haven’t cheated on her!” he demands, and I scoff.
“Cheat on her? I’d rather chop my own cock off, the woman is my fucking world, I want to marry her,” I snap back, and he looks at me like I’ve lost the plot.
“Then why in the fuck would you break her heart?” he asks, perplexed, and I admit, “Because we just found out that she’s twelve weeks pregnant, despite her being on the pill,” and he drops his arms in shock, his mouth dropping, and I nod before I begin to pace again.
I rant, “I love her, I really fucking love her. She’s brought me back, she’s made me happy and given me a purpose, but fuck, a dad? Me? I’m a fuck up, Blaze, a big fucking fuck up! The drugs, prison, the women, fuck, I snorted coke off bitches chests. But, my girl? My amazing girl, looked the other way, she didn’t judge me for it, and now we’re having a baby,” I stop and look towards my concerned friend, and I choke, “What if I fuck the kid up? What if I can’t keep it safe like I couldn’t keep my baby all those years ago safe?” I flinch and gasp, “What if I lose my girl?”
“Fuck,” he curses, seeing I’m beginning to hyperventilate at the thought of losing Drew. He quickly rushes over to me, grabs my neck, and places his forehead against mine.
“You won’t lose her, brother,” he says vehemently, “Something I came to learn, she loves you to the point that wherever you go, she will fucking follow despite having family and connections in this town. Despite owning her own business and having clients. She knows about Toya, she knows about Angie, the drugs, prison, how far you had fallen because of guilt, she knows everything, brother. She knows, and she is still here, she’s still with you, she still fucking loves you!”
I shake my head and choke, “I don’t think I’d make a good dad.”
“You will,” he instantly replies softly, “This kid is going to be lucky because it’ll have two parents that. Even though you're scared, you both will love it unconditionally, and it’ll have several uncles that will treat it like their own, myself included,” and he hugs me to him as my eyes sting.
He whispers, “Come home, brother, come home and let us, your family, get you through this. Understand how lucky this kid is to have you as a dad, bring your girl home and I fucking promise, the club will keep them both safe, we’re not kids anymore.”
I squeeze my eyes tight and breathe heavy as he says, “I’ve grown up with a druggie, I lived a shitty life, and brother, you are not a fucking druggie, you're a big brother that lost his way through guilt.”
My heart breaks just as my phone rings and I flinch, then mutter, “Fuck, I didn’t leave Drew a note,” and Blaze sighs, “Something tells me she’s going to kill you.”
I huff out a chuckle as he steps back, concern in his eyes. I grab my phone—a picture of my girl spinning in her studio making me smile—before I answer and put it on speaker.
“Hey, baby,” I say with hesitation, and Blaze bites his bottom lip to stop his laughter, and I give him the middle finger.
“Three questions, Bellamy,” she says curtly, and fuck, even Blaze winces at the anger lacing her voice.
I clear my throat, and I encourage, “Go on…”
