His back arched. He wasn’t getting up; he was fighting for air. I could see his mouth open, a dark, thick red color staining his teeth.
I jumped off the fence and started running toward him
He tried to scream, but only a wet whistling sound came out.
I saw his hand, the hand that had just shaken mine in apromise, clawing at the dirt. His fingers curling into the arena floor as if it would help him get a breath in.
The paramedics had stormed into the dirt, running faster than my little legs could take me.
I lunged toward him, but strong hands caught my middle.
“You can’t be here!” They yelled at me.
“Daddy!” I was shrieking over and over again until my voice was hoarse.
It was one of the paramedics holding me back, trying to shush and calm me, but I was beyond listening. “Let go of me!” I shouted at him.
The other paramedics were surrounding him, but I could see his “baby blues” as they found mine.
He looked right at me. The cockiness was gone. The hero was gone. There was only a terrifying, wide-eyed panic.
“Daddy!” I sobbed.
His hand was outstretched, reaching toward me now.
I was reaching as far as I could toward him.
He coughed and an eruption of blood shot from his mouth, spilling out his cheeks and splashing in the dirt.
I was flailing my limbs, fighting the medic who was holding me back from my dad.
And then, within an instant, the light in his bright blue eyes went out. Like a candle blown out by the wind.
The hand reaching for me fell limp into the dirt, creating a cloud of dust around it.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
“Clay Ford was…your dad?”
I stood in front of Colton, my hands balled up in fists like I was about to deck someone. My head was buzzing, my ears ringing, my heart shattering.
Colton took a step back in surprise, trying to wrap his head around the bomb of information I had just dropped. “I-I mean I remember my dad-I-can’t…” He trailed off, no longer able to finish a sentence. He wiped his face with both hands, still shaking his head in disbelief. He finally snapped back to reality and rushed to grab my shoulders. “Ally, I’m-”
“I watched my dad die right in front of me doing what you do once a week,” I shot, still fueled with intense rage. “You don’t know what it’s like, praying that you don’t suffocate on your own blood every time you get on that horse!” I was shouting, thirteen years of suppressed grief suddenly rising in me and coming out with vengeance.
Colton dropped his arms, shock filling his soft features. “Why didn’t you tell me then?”
I clenched my teeth so hard I thought they’d snap. “What was I supposed to say, Colton?”
He threw his hands up. “You were supposed to tell me why it’s so painful for you to watch me ride!”
He had noticed. This whole time, I thought I had beendisguising my horror of the rodeo, but he had known the whole time.
Colton watched me have this sudden realization and tilted his head. “You thought I wouldn’t notice the way you get when I climb in the chute? You thought I couldn’t see the way your jaw tightens. You thought I couldn’t see how stiff you get when we talk about it?”
Tears were freely spilling down my cheeks, and I made no effort to stop them. “Was I just supposed to ask you to stop?”
He shrugged helplessly. “Ya know, it would’ve been helpful if you voiced some kind of opinion instead of lettin’ me assume you just hated what I did.”
