“You never told them?” Julie asks, her voice full of surprise, and I have a brief internal argument over whether running out of this room or just melting through the floor would be a more effective escape route.
“She didn’t,” Maya confirms. “She keeps that secret in a big file folder markedclassified.”
“Because it’s embarrassing,” I grumble, sliding the chips and guac closer to me, because if I’m airing my feelings for Tyler in front of all the women in my family, you better believe I’m doing it while injecting a steady stream of junk food directly into my veins.
“You don’t have to tell us,” Caitlin says, looking at me in that serious way of hers. “Now or ever. We can stop this conversation right now and never say another word about Tyler Hansley ever again. But if you want to talk, we’re here, Soph. We’re always here.”
“Always,” Sarah says, reaching over Julie and laying a hand over mine as emotion tightens my throat because no, I’m not at all sure any job is worth leaving this. “We want what you want.”
“You’re our best friend, Soph,” Maddy says quietly. “We wantyou to be happy, and if we can help you get there, then count us in. But if all you want to do is eat tacos and not talk about you at all, Maya can regale us with the latest installment of her dating misadventures and we can forget Tyler Hansley even exists.”
Maya nods emphatically. “Last week there was a gym-bro who told me I would look better if I worked out regularly and then proceeded to draw me up a five-day-a-week workout plan on a cocktail napkin.”
Emmy points at Maya. “We’re definitely getting back to that. But it’s Soph’s call.” She turns to me. “To Tyler or not to Tyler? Or maybe you want to share your adventures with football guy with the class.”
“Who’s football guy?” my mom asks, but before anyone can answer her, the moment is interrupted by Rachel’s dramatic sniffle, and when we all turn to her, she’s wiping tears from under her eyes.
“Ignore me,” she says, waving a hand in front of her face. “I just love you girls so much, and I’m so proud of the family you are to each other. You remind me of another group of friends who used to angst about their impending relationships and lean on each other through it. And me,” she says a little smugly, tears suddenly forgotten. “I’m excellent at relationship advice.” We all follow her gaze as she looks at my mom, Hallie, Julie, and Emma.
“You guys angsted over relationships?” Sarah asks.
All four of them laugh in unison. “You girls think you have the market cornered on relationship drama?” Hallie asks with a grin. “Ask Rachel about the time I came to her all confused because Ben started acting differently with me and I had no idea what it meant or how to handle it.” She gives me a meaningful look, and I have no idea how I could have forgotten that Caitlin’s parents started off as best friends—a lot like Tyler and me.
“Or when I was kind of a mess because Asher was working through some stuff over the end of his career when we first got together and I didn’t know how to handle it.” Rachel leans overme and covers Julie’s hand with hers, and Julie smiles at her mom. “I ran directly to my parents.”
Emma turns to Maddy. “When your dad found out he had a brother he never knew about, and then discovered the truth about his biological dad, it messed him up for a bit. It was Hallie, Julie, Molly, and Rachel who helped us both through it.”
“Your dad and I had our share of angst at the beginning too,” my mom says in a low voice. “There isn’t one single relationship in the world that’s perfect, but if it’s right, you work through it. And you lean on your friends. Not everyone is lucky enough to find the loves of their life in the women around them. Their sisters,” she says, looking around the circle at Emma, Hallie, and Julie. “But I was.” She reaches forward and squeezes my hand. “And you are too.”
“Shit,” Hallie mutters, wiping tears from her own eyes. “I fucking love you, Mol.”
“And don’t forget about me,” Maddy says with a smile. “It wasn’t that long ago that you were there for me when I was figuring out how I could have the guy and his kids and also have the career I loved. And now I have all three, but I couldn’t have done it without you. And you don’t have to do it without us. If you want to do it, that is.”
Sitting in this circle full of my mom’s friends and my own, sinking into the company of these women I love so much and who I know love me too, makes me feel a little invincible. Like maybe, with them on my side, I can find my brave and finally go after what I want.
Tyler. It’s always, always, always been him.
“I want it,” I say immediately. Emphatically. “Him. I want him. Sorry if that’s weird,” I say to Julie with a shrug because I’m actually not that sorry.
Julie laughs and shakes her head. “It could never be. I love you like you’re my own daughter, Soph, and Tyler has always been yours. I knew it when I found the two of you in my backyard celebrating your birthdays at midnight the year you turnedeight, just the same way I know it today. He’s been waiting for you, honey. I just think maybe he doesn’t know it yet.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I mumble, watching Julie’s eyes sharpen with interest, and seeing my mom sit up straight, like she’s prepping herself for gossip.
“Tell us everything,” my mom says dramatically.
And with laughs all around the circle, and margarita refills for everyone, I sit surrounded by all of my women, and I do exactly that.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
TYLER
“Gang’s all here!” Oliver says with a grin, dropping down into the seat across from me and grabbing a beer. “Won in overtime, no thanks to you assholes.”
“What did we do?” I ask, draining my beer and grabbing a second one from the silver bucket of ice on the floor. We’re sitting at a table along the back wall of Fireside, the South Side bar started by Jack’s dad, Ben, and Oliver’s dad, Jeremy, decades ago. Jack’s run it for the past few years, and we’re all here tonight celebrating Caitlin and Jack’s birthday.
“You weren’t there. I missed my cheering section. You could have at least sent Ethan,” he says to Cam. “I mean, we were playing Philadelphia, for fuck’s sake, and not one single member of my family bothered to show up.” His eyes are narrowed, but the amusement behind them gives him away.
Cam levels Oliver with a look. “You’re suggesting I should have sent my ten-year-old son to your NHL game alone because you didn’t want to play without your own personal cheering section?”
