“You can’t sneeze in a room full of smokers.”
“Why not?”
“It’s rude.”
She supposed it might be. After all, everyone was in that room because they enjoyed smoking. She did not.
They moved into the next room, one she hoped wouldn’t aggravate her lungs. Thankfully, this one was for food. The table in the center was piled so high with delicacies that they were quite literally toppling onto the floor.
Jessamine watched a young woman burst into delighted laughter as her partner lifted an oyster from the table and “dropped” it onto her bosom. He licked the oyster off her skin without hesitation. Juices dripped between her ample breasts, and Jessamine had to look away before the man chased those droplets into hidden shadows.
“Is that a whole roasted pig?” she asked to distract herself. “On top of a bed of… salmon?”
“That is what it looks like.”
What a waste. The salmon was crushed under the weight of the massive beast on top of it, and no one was eating the fish that had soaked up all the fat from the pork above it. Lady Fortuna might have money, but it was clear once more that she lacked taste.
“Oh, there’s someone I recognize.” She grabbed Elric’s arm and practically dragged him over to an elderly, rotund gentleman. His whiskers were curled into sharp points on either side of his mouth, and his eyes were rather sunken into his skull for such a large man.
This man had once been important in the castle, Jessamine recalled. As her mother’s grand advisor for all things financial in the kingdom, he was one of the few with access to the treasury. She hadn’t liked him then, and she certainly didn’t like him now. But he had loose lips when he was drunk, and she was hoping that he was drunk at this point.
“Follow my lead,” she said, walking up to the other side of the advisor before loudly proclaiming, “I want a piece! I’m just so nervous to grab it.”
Elric reached for one of the ribs before he paused, apparently realizing this was her plan. Dramatically yanking his arm back as though he was disgusted, he sank into the role of rake. “Well, don’t look at me, darling. I’m not grabbing one for you. There are servants for that.”
The portly old man beside her was quick to jump in and be the hero. “Allow me.”
His thick fingers sank into the skin of the roasted pig, which crackled under his touch. Those fingers sank into the flesh, rooted around with squelching noises, and then he pulled out a hunk of meat attached to a rib. He looked like he was just going to hand it to Jessamine before he thought better of it and set it on a plate that he handed to her. His greasy fingermarks remained, but it was significantly better than the alternative.
It took everything in her not to let her face twist in disgust. She could see the imprint of each finger on the fine porcelain, shiny in the candlelight.
“Thank you,” she tried to simper, but she could hear the shudder in her voice.
Jessamine took the plate and tried her best to look like she could eat it. She really tried. But all she could think about was that he’d taken the meat with his bare hands, and she’d just been watching him lick the same fingers clean. If she put any of that meat in her mouth, she’d spew all over this fancy floor and then people would know she didn’t belong here.
“Allow me,” Elric said, leaning over her to take the plate with a warm chuckle. “She’s so picky about her food. Poor dear couldn’t have any of this pig without a little sauce on it. Such a delicate flower.”
And then he walked away, leaving her standing with a grinning man who should have recognized her, considering he had been in her life since she was a child. “I appreciate a woman with an appetite.”
A shiver trailed down her spine at the slimy words. “Ah,” she said, a little breathless with distaste. “Lovely. You’re an advisor at the castle, aren’t you?”
“I am.”
“How fortuitous it is that you’re still with us. I heard the past queen’s end was rather grisly and that most people in attendance at that wedding were slaughtered.”
He frowned, those whiskers twitching. “I didn’t say I attended the wedding.”
Shit.
“I simply assumed a man such as yourself must have gone,” she replied, pressing a hand against her chest. “Or did they slight you? My dear lord, there is simply no part of me that could believe they would treat you so unjustly!”
Elric returned with the plate, handing it over to her with a rib that looked suspiciously different from the one the man had given her. She took the plate as he interjected. “Someone treated you unjustly? Shall I duel them for you?”
They were leaning too far into this ridiculous ploy they had going on, Jessamine thought. Still, she simpered, tittered, and then flattened her hand on Elric’s chest. “He is a good duelist, you know. Butwereyou at the royal wedding?”
“I wasn’t,” the portly man replied, but she could already see him stiffening. “And I have no need for another man to duel for me. Ridiculous suggestion, that.”
She’d lost him. The advisor was already turning a little red, and she had a feeling that if they stayed here for much longer, one of them was going to get yelled at.
