“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you,” I blurted.
“It’s okay.”
“I mean…” I shook my head. “Wait. I need to explain. I panicked. Not my panic attack today. Emotional panic about everything that happened with us, and I felt like I should’ve told you.”
“Told me what? That some guy was an asshole to you? Tried to assault you?” He shook his head. “I don’t like thinking about it, but that’s a far more common event in women’s lives than most of us want to admit.” He brushed my hair away from my forehead. “It’s not like you owe me all the details of your life.”
“I know. I just?—”
“You had no idea we were going to see him again. It’s not like you’re in control of his actions.”
“I know.”
His hand curled around mine again, his thumb brushing in a soothing pass across the back of my palm.
“I love you,” I whispered, marveling I’d managed to acknowledge that, for myself as much as him.
Chapter Thirty-Five
ADELE
Emergency contacts
Cole’s eyes widened slightly. “You do?”
I rolled my eyes, mostly at myself. “Yes,” I said firmly.
“Are you sure you’re not just saying that because of the anxiety cocktail?” His lips teased at the corners.
I shook my head. “Absolutely not. Those meds are good enough to stop a panic attack, but they’re not going to make me tell someone I love them if I don’t.”
His low chuckle reverberated through me. “So, what now?” he asked.
“We wait until they tell me I can go home. I hate the hospital.” I took a breath, letting it out in a gust.
“I don’t think anybody likes it,” he said softly. “Do you want me to meet your sister?”
I hesitated for a beat, trying to gather my thoughts. “I suppose we should have that conversation before she gets here. I do want you to meet her.”
“Are you glad she’s coming?”
I nodded. “I really am. I get nervous with her because I feel so”—I let out a breath—“I guess guilty. I took up a lot of time and attention and energy in our family when I was younger.Obviously, she went into the field that would’ve made sure she could’ve fixed my heart when I was little if she could’ve.”
Just then, a knock at the door reminded me why hospitals weren’t great. Having a moment—a meaningful moment of any kind—was hard to come by. You had to grab them when you could. But then, I suppose that was like life in general. Hospitals were a slice of life that amplified the entire experience—the good, the bad, and the messy.
“It’s me!” Holly called in a singsong voice as she peeked around the door. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” I called.
“How’s your heartbeat feel?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s beating.”
“Oh, it’s not going to stop that,” she said as she came in. “I promise you.”
Cole glanced her way, brow furrowed with worry. “Isthatsomething we need to worry about?”
“Cole! My heart is fine.”
