“Do you want Haven in here?” she asked as she tapped on the keyboard and handed me the little signature pad.
“It’s fine. My health isn’t a big secret. They both already know the general situation,” I explained. “I told them when we hiked to Katmai that if I ever got lightheaded to use my medication.”
“Yeah, but that’s all you told us,” Haven pointed out.
“You don’t have to tell us everything now,” Cole chimed in.
“It’s fine.” I gave a little laugh and looked toward Holly.
“Is she competent to consent to us hearing her health info? Or is this like some kind of truth serum where she’s going to start telling us everything?” Haven teased.
Holly burst out laughing before her gaze sobered. “No, that’s not how this works,” she said. “Adele’s definitely more relaxed, but it’s not like I gave her something that makes her forget herself. It’s just enough to take the edge off the panic.”
“On top of my heart issues, I have what they call medical trauma,” I offered.
“What do you mean?” Haven asked while Cole squeezed my hand.
“I mean, it’s a whole thing,” I said, waving vaguely in the air. “It’s because I had two heart surgeries when I was a kid. It runs in my family. They have to monitor my heart for the rest of my life. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I’m totally fine. But there’s always a risk that my rhythm can go wonky. It hasn’t happened in years, honestly. It’s never happened on a hike. I’m not even sure what caused it this time, but here we are. Once I realized something was wrong, I panicked because I knew I had to come to the hospital, and I didn’t want to.”
“Medical trauma can cause panic attacks when you have a medical emergency,” Holly explained.
I bobbed my head. “That’s what happened.”
“So, what are you monitoring now, Holly?” Cole asked.
“Well, aside from giving her a hit of anxiety meds to calm down the panic attack—because that makes the heart thingworse—I gave her another med that helps stabilize the rhythm. As expected, between the two, Adele is stabilizing.”
“And your sister’s a cardiologist?” Haven asked.
“Uh-huh. We kind of went in opposite directions. After everything I went through as a kid, I never wanted to go to a hospital again. And well, I guess my sister wanted to make sure no one else had to go through what I did. She’s never said that out loud, but I’ve always kind of assumed it.”
“Can Adele have anxiety meds to use if she starts to panic at home again?” Cole asked, his gaze flicking between me and Holly.
“I’m sure that’s been offered to her. Not the injectable kind though.”
“It has,” I said with a shrug. “But I haven’t had a panic attack like this in a while. Last time, I had to go to the hospital too. Those meds are addictive, so I’d prefer not to have them around.”
Cole’s gaze searched mine, concern flickering in his eyes.
“But Cole,” I added softly, “I promise you this is not a regular thing. It’s specifically associated with me thinking I might have to go to the hospital. I get a little anxious about regular doctor appointments, but nothing like this. I swear.”
Holly’s name came over the intercom. She glanced once more at the monitor. “All right, you’re good for now. I need to take care of something. I’ll be back after your sister gets here. Obviously, use the emergency button if something comes up before that.”
Haven stood. “I need a bathroom break, and I’m going to scrounge up some food and coffee. Would you two like anything?” He glanced between us.
I shook my head. “I’ll probably be hungry later, but not now.”
“I’ll take some coffee,” Cole said.
“I’ll be back,” Haven added, disappearing through the door behind Holly.
That left just me and Cole alone in the room.
“Are you okay?” he asked gently.
I blinked up at him and nodded. “I am.”
He leaned close, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. When I turned toward him, he met my lips with a lingering kiss, and I sighed into it. When he finally lifted his head, he whispered, “I love you.”
