"You're welcome.For what it's worth, I think the business is going to be a resounding success."
"You think so?"
"Yeah.Besides the location and incredible house, you love the place.Your heart is in it.You care about keeping the integrity of the estate.People will appreciate that.You're lucky…"
Ian stopped clicking through pictures and gave her a questioning look.
"You're doing something you love, something that has meaning to you.I've always thought those were the best kinds of jobs to have."
"So why don't you do the same?"he asked."You love taking photographs.And they're amazing, Lucy.You could turn it into a business, do something you love too.Question is," he ventured, knowing he was treading on thin ice from last time he mentioned it, but wanting her to be happy, "why aren't you?"
She stiffened and shrugged."I don't know."
He turned toward her, resting his shoulder on the headboard."Yeah, you do.You just don't want to admit it."
Her mouth thinned and her brown eyes shot fire."So one night with me and suddenly you know all about it?"
"No," he said slowly, "But I do know when I see someone who's afraid to try."
Lucy withdrew, feeling like she'd just been slapped.She opened her mouth, wanting to say something rude, something immature, but nothing came.What the hell did he know?Obviously enough.He'd just exposed the heart of the issue, ripped it wide open.It was one thing to know it, but to hear it from him, to realize she was so transparent.Did she have SCARED written across her forehead?Was she that big of a wuss that everyone could see it?
"Lucy wait," he said, regret in his voice as she got out of bed, pulling the sheet with her."I don't want it to end like this."
End?She whirled on him, her heart squeezing painfully, as he got out of bed and pulled on his boxer briefs.She hadn't wanted it to end at all.But apparently Ian did.He saw an ending, though he saw it going much better than this.Well, at least she had her answer.He wouldn't be asking her to stay.
At least she hadn't made a fool of herself by admitting how she felt, that she wanted more.More than a freaking ending.
"What does it matter?"she said in a controlled tone."An end is an end, Ian."And the words made her sick.
As she closed the bathroom door behind her, she knew she was being a coward.He hadn't done anything wrong.She'd known what she was getting into.He was a good guy.One of the best.So she couldn't fault him for anything really.She couldn't even fault him for not loving her back.
God, she'd made such a mess of things.As usual.
"Lucy."Ian's voice came through the door along with a soft knock."I'm sorry.It's none of my business what you chose to do with your life.I shouldn't have gone there…" He cursed under his breath."Not sure why I did."
Blinking back the sting of tears, she drew in a deep breath and opened the door.He was leaning against the door frame, looking like some million dollar billboard model."I'm sorry," he repeated.
"It's fine."She managed a half smile."You called it like you saw it.And you happen to be right, so..."
Ian didn't respond and silence filled the space between them.At least he'd let the subject drop, thank goodness.
"I have some things to take care of with the farm," he said."I should be done by lunch, late lunch."
"How about we meet for dinner?Then you won't have to hurry.I know you have a lot of stuff to do too."She smiled.It was better than crying."I think I can amuse myself for one day."
Ian studied her for a long moment, uncertain."You sure?"
"Positive."
He grabbed her face in both hands and really looked at her.Lucy fought hard to keep the tears at bay.Why did she have to go and fall in love?Why?Why did she always make a disaster out of everything?Ian pressed his lips against hers, first light and then harder as though committing her lips to memory.
When he released her, she put her hand on his chest and pushed him away from the door, feeling broken inside, but smiling anyway."Get out of here before I pull you in here with me."
His hand stopped the door from shutting."I can make time."
Lucy laughed and shut the door.
Ian walked out of Lucy's room knowing to the very marrow of his bones that he loved her.It didn't matter how much, or little, time they'd spent together.All he knew was that he didn't want to face the future without her.It was hard to imagine, waking up every morning, seeing to the business of the guest house, and not having Lucy be part of it.
