He huffed out a breath in frustration and stepped away from me.
“Do you even hear yourself? You kiss me, you tease me, you sleep with me, you tell me you want to fuck me, and that’s a big fucking deal to me. I finger you. We make out. And then you turn right around and tell me you want to use me to fuck with Jackson, that this isn’t real, that you can’t be with me.”
I lifted my chin, matching his fire. “You were aware of the terms when we agreed to this fake relationship.”
“Fuck the terms.”
His voice was stern, high-pitched, not at all like him. He was screaming…at me.I don’t think he had ever raised his voice at me before. We had gotten in fights, sure, but not like this.
Fury shook through me. “Don’t scream at me.”
“I’m sorry, Trouble. I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m so fucking obsessed with you, I feel like I can’t get a grip. FUCK!” He ripped at his hair, pacing.
I stepped closer, letting my finger trace a deliberate line down his chest. “We agreed to thisgame… we agreed…”
“I already told you I’m not fucking playing a game. Jackson is threatening to kill you. He’s threatening to kill me. We’re past whatever the fuck this is, Mackenzie. We’re past all of that. This is fucking real now. We’re real now.”
“I know it’s real…” I hesitated. He was pacing now, his breath heavy and rapid.
“You know, you have been my best friend since I was twelve years old. I know everything about you. But you hide things from me. I want to break down the walls. But you won’t let me, and I’ve accepted it. However, what I can’t accept is being treated this way. I lied when I told you I could do this because I can’t. I don’t know what you are talking about with a game, or whatever. But I want you, Trouble. You set my goddamn soul alive.”
I wanted to sink into his words. I wanted to kiss him, hold him, let him absorb me. But I couldn’t. And I had to push him away. He was going to get hurt by whatever was chasing me.
“I’m not some easy thing you can control, Max. There are things you can’t know about me. I’m not a normal girl. I could never be a normal girlfriend to you. I can’t give you what you want. This is all I can give you.”
He gave me a look, which was both questionable and unreadable. It was as if he was figuring me out, but he didn’t want to tell me that he knew.
“I get it, I do. I just… I don’t know if I can keep fucking doing this for the rest of the summer. I know it’s only been a few days, and this might seem fast, but for me, it’s been years.Years,Trouble. You’re not just some girl. You’re everything to me.”
It had been years for me, too. I wanted to stop him, tell him I loved him, that we could live happily ever after, but this was real life, not some fairytale. Something was happening to me, and he was going to get hurt. It was better that he remained in the dark.
“Max—I don’t know.” The tears welled in my eyes before I knew it, and they started to spill over my bottom lashes.
His hands cupped my face immediately, wiping the tears away with his fingers.
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m not sure this is coming out right. I didn’t mean to start a fight with you. I’m just trying to tell you that I belong to you. Even when you’re impossible, even when you scare me to death. I belong with you, and you’re tearing me apart.”
I pressed my forehead against his.
“You’re terrifying,” I whispered. My hand slid around his waist. “Do you know that?”
He gave me a condescending look and then growled against my lips, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from him. “I’m losing control. This means… too much to me.”
I could feel the storm inside him, the heat behind his eyes, the raw edge of obsession. I hated that I was causing him this pain. He captured my bottom lip with his thumb, and I could see that he wanted to walk away. But he couldn’t.
I didn’t pull back. I pushed against him, lips pressing, teeth grazing, hands tangling in his hair. I knew I needed to pull back. I knew I needed to end this, but I couldn’t control myself, either. He sighed, hands roaming my back, pulling me impossibly close, trying to dominate me, but I fought him. I arched into him, teasing, testing, refusing to yield.
We were equals in fire, obsession, and dark desire. Soulmates who could spar and burn and bite and push each other to the edge, and still, somehow, come together in that perfect, dangerous, electric collision.
“Mmm… you’re impossible to ignore, Trouble,” he hissed against my mouth, one hand gripping my waist, the other tangled in my hair. “I could…”
“Could what?” I taunted, breaking the kiss just long enough to flash him a wicked smile. We always came back together with a sense of humor. Maybe we could now.
He snarled, dropping his forehead against mine, lips brushing mine in quick, sharp bites. “Stop fighting this.”
He was being too serious.
“I’m not,” I whispered, hands sliding under his shirt, feeling the brutal heat of him.
