“We have to think of the babies,” Christa said. “We want to give them a chance.”
“Babies?”
“I’m having twins.”
“Oh my God, that’s wonderful.”
She sighed. That was it then. All decided. Except for Kane.
She was filled with an impulse to tell him she needed him. To beg him to come with her. But she couldn’t get the words out of her mouth, and in the end, she wouldn’t beg. He would have to find his own way forward. And come to terms with his own demons.
As she had done.
Chapter 38
Kane spent the night on the mountain with just Kpo for company. The leopard was also mourning the loss of Leila, who had been a friend during Kane’s many absences.
He knew he was behaving badly. He was also aware that he was punishing himself because he felt guilty. But the crappy thing was, he wasn’t only punishing himself but Kaitlin, as well. And she’d done nothing wrong.
He couldn’t help himself. The fact was, he didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve to be happy when Leila and Brandon were dead. He’d let them down, and whether that was wrong or right, didn’t seem to matter.
He couldn’t see a way forward through the thick cloud of grief.
Anyway, they had zero chance of stopping an explosion when they had no clue where it would take place.
Kaitlin should be going to Australia. She was being stubborn.
He loved her; he just couldn’t get that to matter right now.
He had a momentary flash back to the feel of her under him. The taste of her kisses. How it had felt to be lodged deep inside her. Then the image was overwritten by one of Leila telling him he was betraying their cause. Then placing her dead body in the ground.
Christ, what a mess.
He couldn’t bear the thought of Kaitlin dying as well. She was so full of life.
Maybe the one last good thing he could do was get her to Australia. Would she agree if he went as well? Would she give up this pointless exercise; trying to save a world that was doomed and probably not worth saving anyway?
He had zero wish to go to Australia, but he would do it if it meant saving Kaitlin.
When dawn came, he pushed himself to his feet. For the first time in his life, he felt the weight of his years. His body ached and his mind was churning.
When he made his way down the mountain, he saw a truck parked outside the house. They were getting an early start.
He knew Jake and Christa were staying behind. Christa wanted to close her lab, sorting out anything she might need in Australia. But the rest of them were leaving this morning. Including Kaitlin.
She came out of the house, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, carrying a jacket. She had a walking stick which she leaned heavily on, but she was getting around under her own steam. He approached her slowly, and she glanced up.
“Come and talk to me for a moment,” he said.
A look of hope flashed across her face. “Of course.”
He led her away from the house, to where a small open-sided hut stood just out of sight of the main building. She sat on the hammock and swung her feet. He thought about dipping into her mind, but somehow, he felt it wouldn’t be right. Instead, he paced the area a couple of times while he tried to decide how to say what needed to be said.
“Just spit it out,” she said.
She was always so direct. “I think you should go to Australia.”
“I know. You already told me that. What else?”
