He shoved his hands in his pockets, because he had the urge to go shake her, or hold her, or...
“Would you give up this crazy idea of going to New York if I went to Australia with you?”
Her eyes narrowed at his words. “You’d do that?”
“It’s as good a place as any.”
She pushed herself up from the hammock, grabbed her stick, and hobbled over to stand in front of him, peering up into his face. “Can I come in?” she asked.
He didn’t think that was a good idea. But if he said no, then she would be...what? Hurt? Disappointed in him? It was unlikely she would trust his motives, so he gave a quick nod and hoped his thoughts wouldn’t betray him.
She stared at him for long moments. He tried to think of his commitment to her, so she’d know he was sincere. He would go to Australia if that was what it took to save her.
Her brows drew together. “You’d get on the plane with us today. Leave this place. Go to Australia?”
“If it was with you, then, yes.”
“And what if I don’t want to go there? Then what? Where will you go?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll stay here for a while. Say goodbye to the place. Then...”
He really didn’t know. He couldn’t think that far ahead.
“You know how many years everyone told me to let go of my guilt? A lot. And I’ve done it. Now it’s time for you to do the same. But you don’t have years.” She stepped closer and rested her free hand on his chest. “Come with me to New York. This isn’t over, Kane. We can still make a difference.”
“Maybe I don’t want to make a difference.”
She shook her head and took a step back and, in that moment, he couldn’t let her go. He had to convince her to give up. That trying to save the world was futile. He reached for her, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her to him. Lowering his head, he kissed her. Maybe this was the way to get through to her. But he knew he was kidding himself—the truth was that he couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving and him never kissing her again. Never holding her again. It didn’t really matter. He had to do this.
For a few seconds, she was stiff in his arms, then she melted against him. Her lips parted beneath his and her tongue thrust inside, like hot, wet velvet, stroking him, filling him with the taste of her. It wasn’t enough. He kissed her until he ran out of oxygen and had to raise his head and gulp in air. Then he kissed her cheeks and her jaw, her throat, the soft spot where her neck met her shoulders. He returned to her mouth and kissed her some more. His body was on fire and the black thoughts faded from his mind.
He pushed her backwards toward the hammock, and she let out a little hiss of pain as she landed on her sore ankle.
He went still as the memories flooded back. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply. When he opened them, she was watching him, her expression wary.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“What for this time?” she snarled. “For kissing me?”
“No, never for that. For hurting you.”
And he didn’t mean her ankle. He could sense her pain and her anger without going into her head. He’d let her down again.
Then the rage drained from her, and she slumped, looking so defeated. “What happened to fucking love conquers all?” she muttered. She sighed and rubbed at the spot between her brows. “Part of me wishes I could do it. Just go off to Australia and live happily ever after. But I’m not sure that’s an option. Maybe we’re too alike to have a happy ending. Too ready to blame ourselves and wallow in our own guilt.” She frowned. “Hey, we’re not related, are we?”
“No. I checked the records.”
“Good. I think. What I’m trying to say is—thanks for offering to come to Australia with me. I’m sure it would be a great personal sacrifice, and the fact that you’d do it for me is sort of sweet. But no thanks.”
Had he really expected anything else? She’d never be easy. That was a big part of why he loved her. “You’re determined to save the world, even if you die trying? Are you sure you’re not just being stubborn?”
She raised a brow. “Are you sure you aren’t?”
He gave a wry smile. “We make a good pair.”
“Yeah. It would all be so much easier if I still hated you.”
“I never hated you.”
