Would they all just disappear?
She couldn’t worry about that. She had to pick her fights. This was her world, filled with people she loved. And she would always put them first before some nebulous future. She had to determine her own code of what was right and what was wrong.
She tried to think what Sam would have wanted, and really, that was the easiest of all. He would have wanted her to save the world. Not risk it all to save him.
And as she acknowledged that truth, she knew she had to give him up.
Say goodbye.
“It was always just a dream,” she said. “He’s gone, and he wouldn’t want his life at any cost. He was better than that. AndIwant to be better than that.”
She would finally let him go. And maybe with that, the guilt and the sorrow would fade, and she could move on. If there was anywhere to move on to.
She took a deep breath and looked at Kane. He was watching her, his eyes filled with emotion, and her chest ached. She was scared. Scared to let him in because there was a good chance if she did, she would lose him. But he wouldn’t let her down. He had done that once, and it had almost broken him. All the same, she wasn’t quite ready to let him all the way in. She felt too raw, too vulnerable.
Her promise to herself flashed back in her mind. That if she ever got out of there, she would make love with Kane. Even if she ended up regretting it.
Hell, they were in a plane at thirty thousand feet. They could crash and burn at any moment. It was time to grab life by the balls before it all went to shit...again.
No more regrets.
She twisted where she sat, so she faced him. Then she reached up and cupped his cheek. His eyes widened; she’d surprised him. Then she leaned closer, and she pressed her lips to his. For a moment, he remained perfectly still under her touch, and she thought perhaps she had gotten it wrong. His mind was a wasteland in that moment.
Then heat flooded her, and she realized it was coming from him, filling his mind. His hand reached up to grip the back of her neck and hold her closer, and suddenly, he was kissing her back. Her lips parted beneath the force of his, and his tongue filled her mouth until her senses flooded with the taste of him—heat and spice and something unique to Kane.
His hands moved to her shoulders, and in one fluid move he shifted her, so she was lying on her back, with Kane looming over her, still kissing her, until she was lightheaded with the need for oxygen. But she couldn’t bring herself to stop as his tongue traced the shape of her lips, her mouth, her teeth.
She bit down on his lower lip, and he raised his head slightly. She gulped in air, and then he was kissing her again. His hands slid over her body. The kiss was stalled as he tugged her sweater over her head leaving her in a black lace bra. His eyes were hot and hungry as he gazed down at her.
The hard length of his erection pressed against her thigh. He wanted her. That knowledge filled her with heat, and she was melting from the inside out.
Sex had never felt like this; her skin so sensitive she thought she might go up in flames. He was staring down, and her breasts swelled under his heated gaze, her nipples tightening to hard little peaks. He lowered his head and took one in his mouth, sucking through the black lace, and she felt it down through her belly, the sensations pooling between her thighs, so she pushed up against him trying to get some relief from the need building inside her. She felt wild, out of control.
One hand slid down to her waist, and he flicked open the button on her jeans, pushing inside, and she lifted her hips to help him. His hand was between her thighs on her bare flesh, pushing up and inside and she moaned low in her throat. It was too much...and not enough, and if he stopped, she would go crazy.
He found the little bundle of nerves and was rubbing in circles, his eyes on her face, watching her. The pleasure was building, and building, and then she exploded into a thousand little pieces.
When she opened her eyes, he was still watching her. He wanted her. But he wanted something even more than he wanted her body. He wanted her total capitulation. He wanted into her mind—into her thoughts and emotions. Her whole being clamped up at the thought.
She wasn’t ready.
“Let me in,” he murmured, and she knew exactly what he meant.
She blinked up at him, trying to get her mind to function again. It was foggy with pleasure and with need. She rubbed her thigh against his erection trying to tempt him, distract him.
“Kaitlin, let me in.”
“I can’t. Not now. Not yet.”
“Why?”
She just shook her head. Because the truth was, she wasn’t sure. It had always been her one power over him. The promise he wouldn’t break, and she just couldn’t seem to let it go.
“You don’t trust me yet,” he said. “You’re in my mind. You know my thoughts and yet you won’t let me in.” He stroked her hair back from her face. “I get that you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” she snarled, and a smile flashed across his face.
“We’re all scared. You can see my fears.”
