He sat up.“Not so forgivin’ now, are ya?”
Doc V askedDixon to accompany him on a few farm calls the next day after his shift at the vet clinic, and Dixon said he’d be too late and too dirty for dinner, so he postponed our date.
I was disappointed, but I also knew I’d hit a nerve last night, so maybe it would be better to give him some time to process what we’d talked about.I needed to process it too.
Was he right that I was ready to forgive all the things Dixon had done wrong, but not my own father?Why was that?
Mama left for work in the early, Saturday morning fog.I thought about catching her before she left and asking about my father.She rarely brought him up, and I’d long ago stopped asking.To her, my dad was old, tired news, but he kept coming up for me.And why suddenly did I want to know?Just to convince myself I was different than she had been?Who exactly was I trying to convince?Me or everybody else in town?
Or both?
Gran rode with me in the flower van to AVery Pretty Petal, and we got to work setting up for the day.I had a few orders waiting and started prepping flowers for three arrangements.She hummed while she dusted, shuffling on her feet so she didn’t have to bend her knees too much.
“Avery Jane, there’s somethin’ I wanna talk to you about.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, first, I wanna tell you that I approve of Dixon.I know, I know, you don’t need my approval, but I’m givin’ it anyway.I’ve always liked him.I know your mama has doubts because Dixon’s had some hardships and issues in his life.She worries for you because she loves you, and her history with your daddy probably makes that worse.But it’s easy to see Dixon really cares for you, and if you trust him and believe in him, then I do too.You’ve got good sense.”
“Thank you, Gran, but am I wrong to believe so fully in him?You can tell me the truth.I’ll hear you this time.Am I makin’ a mistake, believin’ in someone who has proven time and again that he can be untrustworthy?He’s never givenmea reason not to trust him, but am I bein’ naïve?”
“I think you’re bein’ who you’ve always been, someone who sees good in others.And thereisgood in Dixon.Maybe he just doesn’t see it in himself yet.
“But I won’t lie and tell you I’m not glad he’s back.I am.I’m happy you two have reconnected.The friendship you had when you were kids brought me joy and kept me laughin’.He’s good for your soul.And I really like that he pushed you to get that restraining order.”
“Me too,” I said, turning to unlock the register before we opened.“I’m glad it’s done.”
“But I want you to be careful,” Gran said.
“Careful?About what?”
She paused, the duster still lifted in the air above some dried flower arrangements that sold well to younger customers who didn’t want the responsibility of fresh flowers but still wanted the beauty.“Your heart has always been set on Dixon Lee, Avery, but the things he’s struggled with aren’t safe for you.”
“Safe?I don’t understand, Gran.”
“Drugs.Alcohol.All that anger he used to carry around.You have addiction in your history too—your daddy.I just want you to be careful about what you give to Dixon.Things could get dark really fast down that road.”
“But dark how?Mama never talks about my father.You know, I heard people talkin’ about it yesterday.Gossipin’ about me and Dixon, and Mr.Henly said they all think I’ll end up just like her.”
“Those assholes!Tell me who it was, and I’ll rough ’em up for ya.”
“Oh Gran,” I laughed, rounding the counter, and I took the duster from her hand and set it on the table.Hugging her, I said, “Thank you for lookin’ out for me.I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.I love you, and I’m not worried about turnin’ out like you or Mama.I’d be proud to be as strong as either of you.”
She smiled, and her green eyes twinkled with love.“When I say dark, I just mean addiction.It’s not somethin’ everyone can control, and it can get out of hand quickly.But like I said, you’ve always had good sense, and I don’t think I have to worry about you like that.
“I just want you to be happy.You’re such a solitary person.It scares me when people come into your life that you’ll lose yourself.”
“Like I did with Cody?”
Gran didn’t have to say it, but she smiled gently and nodded anyway.
“Please don’t worry about that.There’s a huge difference between Dixon and Cody Mahone.Dixon is a giver.Cody was a taker.I won’t lose myself because Dixon would never let me get lost.I have no doubt that he’d disappear before that could happen.”
“You’re not worried about that?Him leavin’?”
I shook my head.“If you’d asked me yesterday, I might’ve said yes.But now?”Now that Stuart knew Dixon was his dad.“Now, no.But he said somethin’ that’s got me all tied in knots.”
“What’s that?”
