Todd’s voice suddenly echoed down from the top of the slope. “Juniper! Thank heavens!”
Relieved that she was no longer alone with Wolfie, Pippa waved to her friend. “She’s fine, Todd.”
Todd sprinted down the hill with remarkable agility, throwing his arms around an utterly nonplussed Juniper.
“What are you like?” he scolded her, before raising his head to Pippa and Wolfie. “A million times thank you,” he said. “I can’t believe she— Did you guys have a mud bath with her or something?”
Pippa laughed. “Or something,” she said. “I’m glad she’s all right.”
“Can you manage to get Juniper back by yourself?” Wolfie asked politely.
“Gosh yes.” Todd produced a lead from his pocket as well as a small bag. “I’ve got a new weapon. Roast chestnuts! She’ll practically stand on her head for one.” As if on cue, Juniper charged at Todd’s ankles, her little tail flicking gleefully from side to side. He beamed. “See? I’ll lure her back with no problem.”
“All right then.” Pippa waved goodbye and strode off, Wolfie following her. She sensed he wanted to chat, but her every nerve felt exposed. The feelings she had for him clouded her every thought, her every breath. If she even attempted any kind of conversation with him, surely he would see her torment?
They made it back to the house in no time and when Pippa glanced at the clock, she realised she had forty minutes until the girls arrived for their meeting.
“Do you mind if I shower first?” Wolfie asked. “I have some calls this morning before my meeting in Rotherham.”
“Go ahead,” Pippa said, keen to be clear of him so she could digest everything she had just experienced. As Wolfie went upstairs, she hurried to the kitchen for a drink, downing several glasses of cold water to clear her head. Logical thinking and planning were needed as a matter of urgency. She had to focus on the facts: Wolfie was selling up and he would leave Hurst Bridge. So regardless of what Pippa felt, she had to plan for the reality that should the sale go through as Wolfie expected, she would be back at square one: homeless and jobless. Frankie might put her up for a few days, but she couldn’t prevail upon him for too long, not again. Mae had limited space at the pub, but maybe she could bed down there and take on some shifts? That could only be a short-term solution however, and what lay beyond that, Pippa really didn’t know. “I need to sort my shit out,” she uttered miserably.
The sound of the gate’s buzzer pulled her from her reverie. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was still thirty minutes until the girls were due, but perhaps they were early. She looked down at her mucky clothes with a sigh. She could at least settle them with a cup of tea whilst she quickly cleaned up.
As she reached the button to release the gates, she noticed with dismay that she had tracked dirt across the wooden floors she had waxed only a few days ago. Cursing, she bashed the button to let the girls in and raced back to the kitchen, picking up a cleaning cloth and disinfectant spray.
The doorbell rang as she was hastily wiping up the last of the muck. She ran to the front door. “What time do you call—”
“Pippa, hi.” Alex stood there, hands jammed in his pockets, those once so familiar twinkling eyes uncharacteristically sombre.
“—this?” Pippa blurted out the end of her originally intended greeting because all other words failed her.
“I hope you don’t mind, but Finn told me you were here,” he said.
“I’m here.” In the immediate aftermath of the break-up, Pippa had run through endless combinations of what she might say to Alex when she saw him again. She’d rehearsed devastating put-downs and some emotional home truths. But now he was standing there before her, Pippa had nothing to say. Alex had once been the centre of her world. She’d trimmed his hair, chosen his outfits for special occasions, nursed him through multiple episodes of man-flu. She’d even had to tie his shoelaces for months when he broke his leg in a skiing accident. He’d once been as essential to her as oxygen. Yet now, it was akin to seeing a stranger wearing his face. Had he always stood like that? Was that shirt new or was it an old one he was wearing differently?
“I’m sorry to show up like this,” Alex said. “May I come in?” Because she didn’t know what else to do, Pippa stepped back to allow him in. The moment Alex entered the hallway, his gaze turned upward, taking in the high ceilings and the covered chandelier. “Crikey,” he breathed. “Look at this place.” He sniffed. “Do you have mice?” He cast an expert eye around and Pippa recalled the mouse infestation they’d once suffered in the milking sheds several years ago.
“Probably,” she murmured, drinking in the sight of him whilst his attention was diverted searching for rodents. She tried to pinpoint how it made her feel. He looked good – if a little tired – and his hair was longer, more rakish. She’d always wanted him to grow it out but, ever practical, Alex had kept it neat. Now it seemed wilder, highlighting his square jaw and rosy skin. She kept waiting for the urge to bury herself in his embrace, for the old desire to lure her in. She waited. And waited. But all Pippa felt was lost. And so very confused.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“I want to talk.” Alex stepped forward, his eyes searching hers. “I miss you.”
There they were. The words she never thought she’d hear again but in the early days of the break-up had longed for. Pippa hugged herself. “And Kent?”
Alex huffed. “Kent is... I don’t know. All I know is, I’m nothing without you.” He took her hand, not even bothering about the dirt coating it. “Pip, I want you back. I need you in my life.”
“And it took you this long to work that out?” Pippa tore away from his grasp. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t throw you out right now.”
“You’re right, you’re totally right!” Alex waved his hands placatingly. “I let you down and I hate myself for it. Please, can we talk?”
“Talk? And say what?” Pippa demanded. “You left me homeless and unemployed. You didn’t just leave me Alex; you ended my life as I knew it.”
Alex’s eyes filled with tears. “I know. I get that, I do, please…” His voice gave out and he dropped to his knees. “Please. Give me a chance to make it up to you.”
Pippa looked down at him. To see the man she’d once adored so vulnerable was unsettling. “Get up,” she muttered.
Alex did as he was told, his gaze yearning. “God, I’ve really missed you.”
