Mireille didn’t often feel pity foranyone, believing that people deserved to suffer the consequences of their actions. Theirchoices.
But seeing Ronin struggle with his own had her tapping a well of compassion she hadn’t even realized she possessed.
Ronin sighed, his leg shifting beneath her cheek. “As soon as I crossed over, they swarmed me. And they weren’t…” He choked down a sob. “They weren’t even angry. That was the worst part. I could have dealt with that. They…” He swallowed. “They showed me the lives I had stolen from them. The wives and husbands and children they’d left behind. Grand-children they’d never even met. Not after I… after I’d killed them.” Glistening tears bathed his cheeks. “There were so many. A sea of human faces all blurred together, some glowing and some just visions. I could barely distinguish them. I did that. I caused all that devastation, and I can’t…”
She wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault. That he was just following orders. That those human soldiers had taken to those battlefields knowing the potential outcomes. But she didn’t think he wanted or needed to hear that right now.
“I’m a coward,” he howled. “I should’ve stayed. Should’ve listened to their grievances. But I just ran away again. Like I’ve done for the past three centuries.”
“You’re not a monster, Ronin,” she whispered.
“Yes, I fucking am. Someone with true strength wouldn’t have used it on opponents who were so much weaker. I deserve this cage.”
“Prove them wrong,” she said.
“Wh-what?”
“Prove them wrong. Once we finish this assignment—and wewill—when they uncage you, don’t let the Empire use you like that ever again. Forge a different path.”
“What kind of path?”
She shrugged. “I can’t answer that for you. But what I do know is you have a choice right now. You can continue to beat yourself up, wallow in your regret, or you can change things. Bebetter. Do better.”
He exhaled slowly, brushing a finger along the bite marks on her neck. “Did I hurt you?”
She angled into his touch, letting him stroke her skin. “No. I, uh… kind of enjoyed it. In case you couldn’t tell.”
Ronin chuckled and the sound was a balm. “Mmmmm,” he purred, igniting sparks throughout her body. “Kinky. I knew it.”
She didn’t know what came over her. Perhaps it was his openness tonight. Perhaps it was this crazy, emotional roller coaster of an assignment. Perhaps it was just Ronin himself—so powerful, yet so vulnerable in his unmasking.
And so incredibly beautiful that looking at him was as glorious and painful as the harsh glare of the sun after days spent in darkness.
She forced herself to hold his molten gaze. “If we get out of this alive, maybe we could…go on a real date?”
He chuckled again, ran his thumb across her bottom lip. “That better be a promise.”
She shrugged. “We make pretty good partners.”
“The Butcher and the ballerina. Look out, Kheimos.”
“I’ll get you box seats next season, since I know how much you love watching the ballet,” she snorted.
Affection softened his eyes. A look that Mireille had rarely received from anyone. “I love watchingyou, Mireille.”
Radiant warmth stole through her as she stood, then offered her hand. Ronin took it, his calluses scraping her soft skin, and pulled himself to standing, so close that a breath would’ve pressed their chests together. “You okay now?”
He nodded, blowing out a long exhale. “I think so. Though I’m not sure I’m going to be able to sleep.”
Mireille stepped back, giving him space. “Me neither.”
Ronin cocked his head, scrutinizing her. “What didyousee? In the Halfway?”
Her limbs stiffened, her gorge rising at the phantom taste of that stew on her tongue. The taste of her own fucking heart. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Ronin regarded her carefully, the decision not to push settling into his features.
She nodded her chin to the half-finished game of chess on the table. “You up for a game?”
