The disappointment on Nat’s face doesn't go unnoticed. It’s my house, but suddenly it feels like I’m sixteen again. My sister’s giving off full-on angry mom energy—like she wants Nat out so she can lecture me.
“That’s cool, but I’m taking these with me,” she says, holding up the bag of cookies and jumping off the counter. My sister rubsher forehead when Nat’s bulky boots slam on the tile, echoing through the kitchen. “I’ll text you later.”
Bypassing Court’s disapproving stare, she lets herself out, leaving an empty feeling behind.
“I’m sorry, but what the hell did I just interrupt? Was this a date?” She narrows her eyes.
Stunned by her outlandish assumption, I turn away, locking my door and turning the porch light on, assuming she’s still staying the night.
“A date? We went to a concert. Can two girls not hang out without being on a date?” I ask, crossing my arms tightly. Every girl I’ve ever met has a best friend they’d kill to spend time with.
“Candace, I don’t know what the hellthatwas, but it wasnottwo besties hanging out. That girl looks at you like she wants to lock you away in a basement and rub lotion on your skin.”
“Where’s this coming from? Are you mad at me or something?” I tap my chest. “You don’t even know her. You met Nat for ten seconds and are already giving me the third degree.”
“Look at you getting all defensive. I openly hated your deadbeat husband foryears, and you neveroncestood up for him like you are for this girl you met,literallyyesterday.” Her tone is harsher than usual.
“I just wanted to make a friend. She makes me feel things that no one ever bothered to. Natalie’s put in more effort to be my friend in just a week than anyone I’ve ever known.” I snap.
“I’m not judging, this isn’t that. If you wanna start batting for team vagina, do it. Good for you. This is me pointing out some flaws in your new friendship. The main one being it’s one-sided. Nat wants to do a lot more than eat your baked goods, if you know what I mean.”
“When did you become the lesbian whisperer? This is insane. Do you not have a best friend?” I know for a fact she’s got aphone full of girlfriends she could call at any time that would drop everything to hop a plane with her.
“I do, and my best friend doesn’t encourage me to go streaking or make moaning noises after she touches my arm. She sure as hell doesn’t look at me like she’s undressing me with her eyes.”
“I’m not batting for team vagina. What Iamdoing is going to sleep, and you should do the same.” I point to the living room, then turn and head upstairs.
My sister flops down on the couch, reaching for her favorite flannel blanket. We’re not the hug-it-out type. We’re the sleep-it-off kind. It’s late, and we’re both exhausted. She didn’t say anything to intentionally hurt my feelings. What she did do was fill my brain with all these new thoughts. Instead of popping my sleeping pill, I’ll be up analyzing every move Natalie made tonight, unsure if this is the friendly situation I thought it was.
Question after question keeps me up well past midnight. When did female relationships evolve into something romantic? I’m not blind to the happenings in the world, but two women hanging out doesn’t immediately mean they’re gay. Why would my sister plant that seed. This nagging feeling is keeping me from a much-needed rest.
All I know is Natalie opened a window to this whole new world, and now that I’ve been a part of it, I have no interest in crawling back the other way. I had more fun tonight than I’ve had in years, experiencing new music, people, and, for crying out loud, I hung out of a moving vehicle. We’ve both spent our fair share of time touching and overall being drawn to one another. That’s not explicitly sexual, though. I may not have a flock of friends at my disposal, but I’ve seen how girls interact, and hand touching is a subtle gesture showing they care, not that they’re in love.
When sleep finally takes over, all I can picture are dainty fingers with chipped black polish covering mine as we let music consume us.
ChaptEr 9
Natalie
Nat:Miss me yet princess?? :))
Candace:It’s only been a few hours.
Nat: Is that a yes?
Candace:My ears are ringing, and I feel hungover. Any more magic cures from former roommates?
Nat: Babe we gotta get you out more! ;) What’s the big adventure today?
Candace: Meeting at the bank, grocery shopping, and the carpets are being cleaned.
Nat: That cannot be your adventure…what did I just say?? You’ve gotta get out. Go do something that's actually fun and report back.
I must’ve hit a nerve with that one because eight minutes go by without a response. Seriously, though, what’s enticing about this domestic lifestyle? She’s bored out of her fucking mind, and she knows it. She’s just been brainwashed into thinking she’s enjoying herself. In what lifetime is a meeting with a financial advisor an adventure? She obviously has money, so what is she even discussing? How not to lose it?
I hear pots and pans clatter from the kitchen along with the faint smell of coffee and Megan’s obnoxious rapping. Living with her means you don't need an alarm–I'm not even sure she sleeps. Someone could break in at any hour of the night and find her sitting there. Either reading about serial killers or crocheting lingerie for her grandma. All I know is that when I wake up, I find the furniture moved and leftover food rotting.
“Good morning, star-shine, the Earth says hello,” she sings.
