I tried to push off the wall. My head spun again. He hesitated on my periphery. "Can…" he cleared his throat. "Can I help you?"
I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut again. I felt his arms encircle me. He half-led, half- supported me to the floor by the fire, and I let myself sink into the wood planks, my teeth still chattering. Whatever in a person lets them stay warm, it was like magic had leached it all from me.
Khal paced. "I should go borrow more blankets, but…can you bar the door behind me?"
"Maybe." Even sitting up sounded arduous, but I didn't want him to feel abandoned. "But I'm not sure I could get up again to let you in."
"I could take you with…" he cut the words off, looked at the door. No, that wasn't safe for him right now. Wasn’t safe for either of us.
"You could hold me," I whispered. Was it selfish to ask for what I wanted, if it would stop him from putting himself at risk? "You're warm."
He hovered, still standing, his face lit by the flames. "Are you sure?"
Sure of what? That I was a poisonous leech, and I needed him? Sure that the heat of his body was what I craved more than blankets, or fires, or whatever rat-like survival I deserved? "I'm sure."
He lowered himself down, ginger, and I felt the warmth, the solidness of him at my back, his arm slowly settling over my waist, like he thought I would break. Or bite. The weight of his arm was nice. I realized I was staying too still, like I’d scare him away, and that was foolish. He was being charitable with me. And yet…I think I knew on some level that he didn't feel the way I did about me, that I didn’t disgust him now.
I should ask him. I should just ask him.
“Does this bother you?” I tried to keep my teeth from chattering.
“What, this?” His voice was thick. “No. You don’t bother me.”
I wished I could roll away from the flames, hide in his chest.But that would be presumptuous of me. “That’s good,” I whispered. They’d almost stopped chattering.
“What about you?” he murmured, his breath warm by my ear. “I would understand, if this was too much for you. You have…no reason to feel safe with me.”
Some sort of sound came out of me, like a cough, or a snort. I froze.
“...what?”
“N-nothing. I’m fine. I feel fine.” Heat bloomed across my face. “I don’t mind. When you touch me.”
He was silent. I should say something, I should stop this quiet. I should-
“What really happened? To the blankets.” The words were in a rush, then, quieter, “You’re obvious when you lie.”
He inhaled, breathed slow. “They got burned.”
“Burned when?”
“You sometimes…you caught fire, a few times. While you were sleeping. I think it’s when you have dreams.”
I tried to scramble up, stopped as the flood of weakness took my forehead to the floor. I thought I was going to vomit.
He hurried to say, “It was fine. No one got hurt. You didn’t…you don’t burn me. Like at the tower, you don’t burn me.”
I breathed shallow, my face still pressed against the ground. “How many times?”
He hesitated. “I think…only three.”
I rolled onto my back, fighting the vertigo to face him. “Three?”
“It was okay. I handled it.”
“This is a wooden house!”
“I don’t think you’re doing it anymore. Vrathgar doesn’t like this house, much. …you haven’t been screaming, either. ”
