My heart lurches at the use of his daft nickname for me.
I walk towards him, willing my knees not to shake. ‘It was very nice to see you. All the best to you and yours. Goodbye.’ My voice wavers. I try to get through the door but Mitch blocks my way and I sort of bump into him chest to chest.
‘Let me out, Mitch,’ I say, avoiding his eye.
‘I just want to say hello, is all.’ He presses a hand to my cheek and I expect my whole body to come alive at his touch like it always did, but today that doesn’t happen.
‘That your girlfriend out there?’ I ask.
Mitch runs his thumb down towards my chin. ‘Fiancée. Sophie. She’s great. Works next door in the hair salon. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come to this pub. I’m glad I did now…’
‘Wow. Engaged. Congratulations.’
‘Well, it’s been fourteen months, I owed it to her.’
I takes me a few seconds to realise what he ‘s just said. Mitch seems to realise at the same time. To his credit, he flushes slightly in the cheeks.
‘I meant, um, eight months.’
‘Don’t lie to me.’
‘Uh…’
‘Fourteen months ago, we were together,’ I say, my heart beating hard enough for me to hear it in my head.
Mitch rubs the back of his neck. ‘You and I weren’t, you know totally exclusive.’
‘We never put a name to our relationship but we were sleeping together for over a year! Felt pretty exclusive to me.’
And then something else occurs to me. ‘Wait... Oh my God. You knew!’
‘Knew what?’
‘You knew that making that pact would upset me. Make me end things with you.’
Mitch holds his hands up, feigning ignorance. ‘What pact?’
‘You fucking know what pact. If neither of us have found true love by fifty we’ll get married? You knew I loved you, that I was all in. You’d already met someone else and you were too chicken shit to tell me. Youwantedme to end things with you.’
Mitch sighs. He doesn’t bother to deny it. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you,’ he says weakly.
‘So you mademeend things, just so you could keep your conscience. Not feel like the bad guy. The cheater. On Christmas Day, no less!’
Mitch is starting to look a little less sure than he was a few moments ago. ‘Listen, I don’t think now is the time to talk about this. Do you still have the same number? It would be a neat idea to get a drink sometime. Let me apologise for being such a jackass. I was different back then. An idiot. Seeing you again now, looking so happy with another man…’
He reaches his hand out again, and this time I sharply bat it away.
‘Oww!’
I stare hard at Mitch’s beautiful face and it occurs to me that he is a dirt bag and a coward. He cheated on me, couldn’t even admit it and now he’s trying to cheat on that innocent woman out there. And yes, his torso and arms and bottom might be very sexy, but his heart is very much lacking. Why did I not realise this? I’ve wasted a year of my life feeling angry at myself for not being enough for him and angry at him for the way he ended it. Truth is, he did me a favour. He’s a moron! He is a total moron! And, oh my goodness, I don’t have to see or think about him ever again.
A wave of relief floods through me and it feels like a lovely hot, refreshing shower on a cold day. At last! I lift my chin.
‘I’m leaving, Mitch. Now get the fuck out of my way.’
‘Phoebe, come on. I was a fool back then.’
‘And an even bigger one now! Move!’
