“Are you feeling any better today mommy?” Hanii asked, batting her long, thick lashes.
“Mommy isn’t going to get much better, baby.”
“Why? What do you mean?” I locked eyes with Forever as she silently asked for help and cut in.
“Do you know what cancer is, Tahanii?”
“I think so.” She nodded. “It’s when you get sick inside your body and the cells attack your immuno system.”
“Immune system,” Forever and I corrected her with a small laugh because damn, this girl was smarter than we thought.
“But yeah. Basically. So the doctors ran a bunch of tests and found out that your mommy has cancer. They’ve done everything that they could do to stop it, but it was just too strong.”
“Soooo, what now?” She blinked. “Why can’t they do something else to fix her?”
The room fell silent. I thought of how to answer that question but shit, I didn’t have an answer myself, so I left it up to Forever to respond.
“Because sometimes there isn’t anything else to do,” Forever said, tears cascading down her face. “Believe me when I tell you, I’ve triedeverythingbaby. But now Mommy’s body is tired. And day by day, I’m getting weaker.”
“You look fine to me,” Hanii sniveled.
“That’s the thing. Some days I won’t look as sick as others. Some days I’ll feel good, but even then, I’m stillreallysick. Do you remember what happened to Mr. Shambles?” Hanii nodded. “And do you remember what we talked about after he was gone?”
“He went to heaven.”
“Exactly. That’s what’s going to happen to me. Now even though you won’t be able to see me face to face anymore, I’llalwaysbe with you.”
“But how? If I can’t see you, how will you still be with me?”
“’Cause she’ll always be a part of you. She’s in your heart,” I added, sitting on the other side of Forever.
“Exactly. And I’ll be watching over you every day.”
“But—But I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want you to dieeeee.” Hanii sobbed, snuggling her face into her mother's chest.
My heart broke into a million pieces seeing her break down into her mother’s arms. I felt the exact same way too, so all Icould do was wrap my arm around the both of them as I released a few tears of my own.
“Look at me, Hanii,” Forever said, and Hanii finally peered up at her. “I willneverleave you.Ever.I taught you to believe in God, so just remember, we will see each other again. One day, when you’re old, after your kids have grown up, and you leave this earth, we will be together again. And you’ll get to tell me about everything that I missed. That’s why I want you to make me a promise, can you do that?”
Hanii nodded. “What is it?”
“I want you to promise me to always be true to yourself. Live your life to the absolute fullest. Never say that you can’t do something because you’re one of the smartest in the world, and you can doanythingthat you put your mind to. I want you to make lots of mistakes too. Not big or dangerous ones. But mistakes teach you lessons you learn from. And most importantly—love. Love people intentionally. Wholeheartedly. Andsincerely.Never take them for granted. Okay? Can you promise me that?”
“Yes,” Hanii whimpered. “I promise, Mommy.”
“Okay. Now give me a biiiiig hug.”
I watched as Forever pulled Hanii into her arms for a hug as they cried. It was at that moment, that I realized how much bigger this was. Forever had been putting on such a brave face this whole time when she was literally leaving behind the only person in this world she had birthed. She wouldn’t be here to see anymore birthdays, Christmas’, or graduations. She would never meet her future grandchildren, son-in-law, or the woman Tahanii grew up to be. The only thing she had were memories, and while that was a blessing, simultaneously, it was heartbreaking as hell.
17 /LEGACY
One Month Later
“Girl,I swear she be farting every time she inspects my damn rooms. Ass just be rank as fuck,” Kasia joked, causing Forever and Jaz to fall out gigglingg.
“Uh uhhhh,” Jaz giggled. “Nasty ass.”
“I’m telling you. I started to file an anonymous complaint too. ’Cause that’s some disrespectful ass shit right there.”
