I left the girls to enjoy some time together and headed downstairs. Twenty minutes later, Logic and my mom were walking into the house, and the moment she laid eyes on me she was in tears.
“Legacy, I’m so sorry, baby. I had a brief relationship with Cedrick, and he made life hard. He didn’t put his hands on me, but he was mentally abusive. He wasn’t the best man, he tried to hold his power and money over me. When I left him, I found out I was pregnant, and I refused to tell him. I met Richard right before I gave birth, and we got married a year after I had you. He signed your birth certificate and promised to take care of you as his son. I make no excuses for what I did. I wanted the best for your life, and I just felt like Cedrick wouldn’t have been the best thing. He did ask me if you were his, and I’m sorry but I lied to him and told him no.” She cried.
“You could’ve told me. No matter what the situation was I still deserved to know. I was living a lie thinking Richard was my pops. No wonder he treats me the way he does. That man despises me!” I yelled, and she jumped.
“Bro, calm down.” Logic touched my arm.
“I’m sorry, baby. Please forgive me,” she said to me and I couldn’t think about this shit right now.
“It’s going to take time, Mom. You’re my mother, and I could never not love you. I’m just pissed, and right now I can’t think about this situation. I have a dying wife upstairs, and I need to take care of her. My mind is on her and my daughter,” I told her, and by the way she was looking I assumed that Logic didn’t fill her in. Because he knew everything. He was handling all of my dealings with Cedrick’s will. Because I was his son, half of hisestate goes to me. I was part owner of the hotel I met my wife in. It’s crazy how life works.
“I’m so sorry to hear this. I won’t pry; when you’re ready to talk to me about it, you will. Just know that I’m here for you and them.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around me for a hug, and I released a breath. I needed my mother, this has been a trying time and I needed her here with me. Once they left, I decided to hang out with my family for the night. I let Hanii choose dinner, and we had steaks. I had to laugh because Butterfly didn’t play about her pizza and steaks. Once we finished dinner, I helped Forever up to take her shower.
“I got it, baby. I’m feeling pretty good right now,” she said, and I let her do her thing. My wife was a fighter, and even though she was sick, she still tried to care for herself. My phone was ringing and I needed to take this call, so I had the nurse go into the bathroom to be with her.
“Hello,” I answered the call.
“Mr. Porter, this is Dr. Zyek. You told me to call you as soon as I review your wife’s file.”
My heart was beating so damn fast it felt like it was going to burst.
“Yes, sir.”
“Mr. Porter, I viewed every test that she’s had the past three years, and I’m sorry, but it seems the doctors did all that they could do. With indolent leukemia, patients can sometimes appear healthy for long periods. There may be good weeks or even good months where symptoms seem manageable. Then suddenly the body declines rapidly. That’s because the cancer is constantly affecting the blood, bone marrow, and immune system, even when things seem like it’s alright. Trust me, I would tell you if they missed something and would have you bring her. I’m sorry, sir,” he said, and I couldn’t hold it in. I lost it. I ended the call with him and made my way down to thebasement of my house because I didn’t want to alarm my wife and daughter. I cried so fuckin’ hard, my eyes were blood red. I felt like I was losing my mind. It took everything in me to go upstairs, but I did because I needed to hold my wife.
“You ready to do this?”I asked Forever and she shook her head no.
“Maybe we should wait?—”
“Bae, we can’t keep putting this off. The longer we do that the harder it’s gon’ be. Let’s do this together. Right now.” I bent down and kissed her on the forehead.
After putting off a much-needed conversation for as long as we could, today was the day that we finally told Tahanii about her mother’s sickness.
Baby girl wasn’t stupid by far; she knew that her mother hadn’t been feeling well and had seen how she now occupied a completely different room other than our bedroom. I had the entire room set up with everything that Forever could possibly need from an adjustable hospital bed to round-the-clock nurses to look after her. Since she’d opted out of treatment all together, our only goal was to manage her pain.
Naturally, some days were better than others. There were some mornings when Forever would be throwing up and in so much pain, she could barely talk. Then others when she was just laughing and smiling nonstop. It was crazy to me how someone living out their last days could still remain so damn positive. That shit was admirable.
As the days grew closer, I knew how important it was for Tahanii to know and understand what was going on versus her living in a false reality that her mother was going to get better.So, even knowing how hard of a conversation it was going to be, I was ready to be that support for both of my ladies. Even if it was hard on me too.
“You ready?” I asked Forever.
She nodded. “Yes.”
I stepped out the room and walked down the hall to the living room where Hanii was laid out on the couch playing her Nintendo Switch. I had given the nurse the evening off so that the three of us could spend time together as a family.
“Butterfly, come talk with me and your mommy for a minute,” I told Tahanii.
“Right now?”
“Yes, pretty girl. Me and your mommy wanna talk to you.”
“Okay.” She set down her Switch, and I grabbed her hand and led the way back down the hall to Forever’s room.
Forever was wiping her eyes when we walked in, and I could immediately feel a shift in the atmosphere.
“Hey, mommy’s big girl.” Forever smiled. “Come sit up here with me.” She patted the empty spot next to her on the bed.
Carefully, Tahanii climbed up on the hospital bed and snuggled up next to her mother. I helped move the nasal cannula out the way so that Hanii wasn’t stopping the oxygen flow.
