My face scrunched, recalling my incredibly detailed three way dream. “No.”
“Oh come on. Yes you have.”
I stuttered, trying to come up with a lie.
“Out with it.”
With a groan, I outed myself. “Ithoughtabout it, but just out of pure curiosity when I was still angry with Seb. And I didmaybehave a pretty intense sex dream involving him, Seb, and me.” My entire body burned with embarrassed heat. “It was the night I fell asleep in Sawyer's room, but I think it was just my subconscious trying to ignore the fact that I missed Sebastian.”
Pia fought back a crazed smile. “Well, I mean, Sawyer’s hot.” She shrugged innocently. “I don’t know. Talk to Seb. Maybe you can have them both.”
I scoffed. “First of all,whatdid I say that made you assume I wantedthat? And second of all, that just might be the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. And that's saying something—because last week you asked me if Sebastian was still a prince now that Caelestis has been destroyed.”
She jumped to her feet and put her hands on her hips. “Hey! That is a valid question.”
I matched her pose. “Is it? Just because the castle is gone doesn’t mean the royal bloodline just vanishes!”
She dropped her arms and scowled at me. “You're sassy when you're drunk.”
I fell to my butt on the bed, dropping my head into my hands. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do.”
She sat beside me, rubbing her tiny palm across my back. “There's a reason why they say unrequited love is one of the most powerful emotions.”
“Who says that?” I questioned, looking up enough to arch a brow.
“I dunno. I heard it once and it stuck. But anyways, it's true and relevant in this situation. It’s almost like a match. It starts by burning itself but isn’t invincible from setting other things ablaze.”
“What does the match have to do with anything? Who’s the match and who’s the other thing that’s burning? That makes no sense.” My face contorted.
“I dunno. It was part of the unrequited love thing. I think I got some of it wrong. Just roll with it. The point is that you don’t love him back and you feel bad about it,” Pia rambled.
“I do love him. Just not in the same way that he loves me.”
“He loves you in the way that you love Sebastian.”
“Exactly.” I pulled my face from my hands and nodded. “Was that supposed to make me feel better?”
She shrugged. “I guess not. My idea about having both of them was supposed to help, but that backfired.”
I huffed a laugh, but my emotions quickly returned to being a sour taste in my mouth. “I hate that I’m hurting him.”
“Unfortunately, you can’t control that. Unless you decide to be with him instead of Seb, which I don’t foresee happening. Right?”
“Right,” I sighed, “I’ve already lost Sebastian once, and I would die before letting that happen again.” He was the one true love of my life and without a doubt the man Iwoulddie loving.
“If you want my advice, I think you need to let Sawyer get it off his chest before you guys can move on. Then maybe we can set him up with Leighton,” Pia suggested.
“I amso incrediblyin love withSebastian.” I needed to say it out loud, not that I could ever forget that.
“But you feel guilty for also not being in love with his best friend?" Pia added with a raised brow, glaring at me.
I began to stutter in defense, but she held a hand up to stop me. “You don’t need to feel guilty about that.”
I choked on my own tongue. “Deep down, I know that. But I made out with my boyfriend's best friend while we were broken up, and now, said best friend is trying to profess his feelings for me. How am I supposed tonotfeel guilty? I’m still completely shocked that Sebastian is even okay with what happened.” I leaned in to whisper even though no one else was in the room. “He told me not even hours ago how I am his and his only.”
Pia put on a cocky grin, winking at me. “Nice.”
I rolled my eyes. “I shouldn't have ignored what Sawyer said to me in Caelestis.” My head fell into my hands. “I’m the worst.”
