“He was a great man. I know how close you were to him. I’m deeply sorry for your loss.”
My reply was strangled. “Yeah. Thanks. Though if he knew what I did, I don’t think he would consider me his grandson anymore. He’s probably stuck in the in-between because his soul can’t cross over to the afterlife, and as much as I hate to say this, that’s probably a good thing. He’d be ashamed if he knew what I did to Ava.”
“Did your grandfather ever tell you that he and Aponi were separated for a time?”
I froze in place, not sure if I could believe what she’d just said. “Separated? Like… they weren’t together?”
“Yes, shortly after their wedding. They were very young. In fact, Cassiel was around your age.”
I could hardly believe it. My grandfather had always spoken of my grandmother like she was the only woman for him, someone he’d never get over. He’d acted like their marriage had been unshakeable from the start. “Why did they separate?”
“As you well know, your grandfather had to do some questionable things as the Elvish ruler. Aponi was disgusted with the actions he had to take in order to keep our monarchy safe. She thought he’d become a monster, and desired to leave him. She moved out of his quarters and was contemplating divorce.”
It comforted me to know that my grandfather had gone through the same struggle. “So what happened?”
“Cassiel did something that shocked our people. He attempted to lock Aponi away.”
“What?” I staggered forward as I swung the wooden sword. “I never heard about this!”
“You two are more alike than you will ever know.” Drea adjusted my arms before we continued sparring.
“How did he fix it?” Had Cassiel forced Aponi to stay with him even though she didn’t want to? That didn’t sound like him.
“Your grandfather learned that when you love someone as dearly as you love your spouse, it’s not right to hold them so tightly they can’t take flight. To become one, he had to allow them to be two separate people. Cassiel understood Aponi needed to make her own choice, and he needed to accept it, whatever it would be. He trusted in the belief that Aponi truly loved him, and chose to let her come back to him. And that trust enabled them to repair their relationship.”
“And she chose him?” I asked, making my words firm. I wanted to be sure my grandmother had wanted to reconcile, and hadn’t been trapped in a broken marriage.
“Oh, yes. It took some time, but she and Cassiel worked on their relationship, and they became closer than ever before. She adored him every moment of her life, and he worshipped her until she left this world, and even long after. That time they spent apart was a wound that became a scar, but that scar defined them. It did not break them.”
The sparring sword hung loosely in my grip. “I want to hope that can be the case for Ava and me. But that seems impossible.”
“You will find that every marriage endures some sort of crisis. Life demands that you cling to each other or drift away. No marriage is perfect. You can either stand and fight beside your spouse, or lay down your sword and decide to leave them behind you.”
She sighed. “Cameron and I are in the middle of our own crisis, as it were.”
I swung my sparring sword at her, and she dodged out of the way. “It’s not your job to make things right. I know your loyalty lies with my dad.”
Drea lowered her sword. “I didn’t come here as your father’s guard.”
I balked. “So you came here as what… my stepmom?”
“I don’t wish to try and be your mother,” she assured me. “I know losing Cassiel has wounded you to the point you are unable to make room in your heart for another parental figure, and I cannot take Cassiel’s, nor Kelly’s, place. But I did come as your father’s wife. I want to apologize to you, because I’m embarrassed by how Cameron’s been acting. You have no reason to trust me, but Cameron isn’t willing to be there for you, so I will be. I want you to know that if you need anything, I’m here. Even if he isn’t.”
She was right. I didn’t trust her, but I was still touched by the gesture. She cared, which was far more than what I could say about my useless father.
“If you’re so embarrassed by my dad, why do you stay with him?” I wondered.
Drea drew a short breath. “It’s… complicated. For one, I feel an obligation to the Elvish family. If I leave, then I’m giving up on my vows, and I want to believe there’s still good in him. No wife wants to give up on her husband no matter what he does.”
I knew that’s how Ava had to be feeling, too. I despised myself for putting her in such a painful position. But how could I tell Drea to leave my dad when I wanted Ava to stay with me? It was hypocritical. “He doesn’t treat you well. He doesn’t treat anyone well, really. You’re not his servant, you’re his wife. This isn’t fair to you.”
“I know you’re uneasy with the idea of how our arrangement works,” Drea admitted. “It is unheard of for a royal to marry their guard, and our bond is still in place. I am required to follow his command no matter the request.”
“It’s not an equal partnership, Drea. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but you’re not on even ground. You might be married, but he still holds power over you.”
“I understand your point. There have been a few times over the years where Cameron and I did not agree, but I had to follow his request. Cassiel tried to speak up on my behalf when he could, but it wasn’t always possible to deny my husband’s order.”
That statement alone indicated Cameron had forced Drea into things she wasn’t comfortable with completely. “If you want, I’ll break your bond for you. You don’t have to be magically tied to my father anymore.” I swore I’d never break another bond again, but I’d make an exception for Drea.
