I tore my arm out of their grasp. “And what exactly do you want me to do about it, Ivy?”
Ivy scoffed, like they knew there was nothing I could do, but they sneered anyway, “Maybe spend the next few months in counseling so when you do get to the afterlife, you can actually do something useful and save our asses. Get your fucked up head fixed so you don’t do something crazy to screw us over again.”
Ivy stomped away, leaving me stunned by their words. Ivy was the last person who I wanted to be right about anything, but they weren’t wrong to say my head was fucked. One wrong move, and I could ruin this for everyone… like I had before.
I had a bad habit of creating chaos. If we were going to pull this off, then I had to make sure everyone— including Ava— could depend on me to get it right this time. I didn’t know how long it’d take for Queen Emmaline and Lucas to break through this boundary, but I knew one thing for certain.
We couldn’t afford to make any more mistakes.
Chapter Eighteen
AVA-MARIE
I’d heard about the meeting Charlie had called in the Elvish council room. I hadn’t gone under the guise of recovering from labor, but the truth was I just… couldn’t face Charlie. Kallie had filled me in on the details, and I still wasn’t sure about this plan, but we also didn’t have any other options. We were sitting ducks until Emma and Lucas broke the barrier in Edinmyre, if they could even manage it.
In the meantime, I knew I couldn’t wait to do something about the situation with Casey, because I’d already put it off long enough. Whatever I decided had to be soon. If I was going to handle things, I had to have an uncomfortable conversation with my soon-to-be— or maybe not— ex-husband.
My mother had been healing me daily for the past month. I was basically back to normal, all signs of labor gone. But my body had changed in little ways that I’d noticed. I’d held on to more weight, my breasts were different, my hair had become thinner.
I was an invader in a foreign body that I had to get used to all over again, and I couldn’t go back to my former self. Not even my body could be mine anymore, because disability and childbirth had overtaken it. This baby had snatched what little I’d kept after my spinal injury had stolen it all, and I resented him because of it.
It wasn’t even his fault. It wasn’t Charlie’s, either— not really. The fault was with me, because I’d let it all happen. I hadn’t paid attention, and now there weren’t two people being hurt by this destructive marriage anymore. There were three. And one of them was completely innocent.
I wasn’t the type of girl that sat around and didn’t take action, but Charlie was the one person I was too afraid to face. Casey had to go somewhere, and we needed to agree on who was going to raise him. I figured we weren’t going to make any progress and this whole thing was going to turn into another vicious fight, which was the last thing I wanted. I couldn’t stand yelling at that man one more time, and I was certain I’d crumble if he kept raising his voice to me.
I could look for a mediary to help us work through this, but I knew Charlie would shut that idea down once I brought it up. He didn’t like opening up in front of other people, and this conversation required it. I could bully him into doing what I wanted, but that would make things so much harder. I wanted him to make things easy on us, so we could find a solution that was good for our son… even if it wasn’t great for us.
Things in the world continued to worsen, which sickened my mood. The nuclear war that The Mission incited with the humans had intensified, destroying places all over the world while the Warden remained in the afterlife, continuing to fight with the gods for control over the Blessed Haven. The supernatural news station was calling this the Second Great Supernatural War, an adept description of what was happening out there.
It had hit incredibly close to home. Images flashed across television screens of the ruined California redwoods, destroyed beaches, the entirety of my state’s natural habitat. Los Angeles and San Diego had been wiped off the map, along with countless other cities across the world.
My home was basically gone. I couldn’t go back to it even if the Warden died, because there was nothing left to return to but a crater. Not to mention all the debris, radiation and fallout caused by the bombs was on the fringe of sending Earth into a potential state of nuclear winter. Humans and supernaturals were dead in the millions, and more would die due to the potential famine and firestorms caused by the bombs.
We were destroying our planet, our environment, and all hope of life. And for what? So one guy could claim he ruled over it all? Rule over what? Nothing would be left. It was all so wasteful.
I ended up on my parents’ living room couch for days, laying around and not able to do much of anything except stare out the window and try to find a way out of all this existential dread. I’d grieved the loss of Kinpago, but to lose all of California shattered me. We could kill the Warden and stop The Mission, but it wouldn’t restore thousands of years of nature that had bloomed within our tribal borders. Centuries of natural progress had been ruined all around the world, and there was no getting it back in my lifetime, if at all.
On my third day of brooding, Daddy came out of his office, took one look at me and said, “Nope. We’re not doing this.”
“I am,” I mumbled into a throw pillow. “Go away.”
Daddy stooped down to toss a blanket off my legs. “Get off your ass. We’re going to the training arena.”
“To do what?” I sneered. “It’s not like I can cast magic anymore, so training’s useless.”
“Guess you’re going to have to suck it up and learn how to fight without magic.”
“Yeah, like I can fight the Warden like this,” I sneered.
“You’re going to have to learn how. You want to be the commander of the Firebirds, you need to learn how to battle alongside them. I’ve come up with a solution to that issue, so let’s get on with it.”
I faked a cough. “I’m sick. I don’t feel well.”
“Your mom says you’re fine.”
“But my back hurts!” I whined. “My spine is messed up!”
“That’s called being paraplegic.”
