“Stop trying to hide how you feel,” Ava insisted. “I know you’re worried, but what the Warden did wasn’t permanent.”
“Notpermanent? Pidge, you can’t walk!” Hell, I didn’t want to take my anger out on Ava, but she was acting like this wasn’t a big deal.
“But I got to keep my life,” she said. “That’s what matters.”
“Only because you fought for it. The Warden’s playing dangerous games, pidge. He’s already gotten you killed once. I need to make sure thatneverhappens again.”
“That’s not your job,” she said gently. She was trying to reassure me, but I was so worked up I couldn’t see a damn thing past my rage.
I took her hand in mine. My fingers grazed against her inferichite bracelet. My stomach twisted— and not just because the damn stuff made me nauseous. “I can’t help it after everything he’s put you through. He took your life once— now he has to take your recovery with this damn bracelet.”
Ava laid her free hand atop mine. “You’re wrong, Charlie. The Warden and the Underground might be the reason I died, but he never took my life. I continued into the Ancestral Lands by choice, and my spirit would’ve lived on there if I chose to. I did what I had to in order to save the people I love. You know that I don’t do a damn thing against my own will. I came back for a reason, and nothing can stop me— not the Warden, not my broken body. He can’t break our spirits unless we let him. Screw the damn bracelets. Screw my diagnosis. It doesn’t change what we came here to do— and we’re going to do it together, no matter what.”
Pidge was right. No matter what the Warden put us through, we always pulled through. I had to believe we could manage this time, too.
Ava and I didn’t talk about the Warden after that. It didn’t change how I felt, though. If anything, I felt worse. If I wasn’t blaming the Warden for what happened here… I was blamingmyself. I was the one who’d brought her back to a broken body in a broken world.
Each day, I was forced to listen to nurses and doctors come and go, with nothing more than uncertainty in their tone each time they spoke. I helped Ava to the bathroom, carrying her because she couldn’t walk, and helping her with tasks she was used to doing by herself. After every meal, I listened to her heave, since she couldn’t keep anything down. The hospital staff was pumping her full of morphine and pills to try and keep her pain at bay, and still, I heard her muffle the sobs at night when she thought I was sleeping.
The worst of it all was what was inside her head. I caught stray thoughts of hers that she tried to hide from me… how she was so independent, but had been forced into a situation where she felt like she was dependent on everyone. She had no idea if she’d gain any sort of autonomy again over her life and body, and that, to her, was terrifying.
My wife was in so much agony. I had to wonder if I’d made the right decision bringing her back. Ava had promised me this was her choice to return to this life, but I felt like my selfish actions hadforcedher into being with me, stealing away the one thing that meant the most to her… her freedom to live her life on her terms.
Sometimes, I felt I was as bad as John, and that sickened me. I was worse than a monster. I was no good for her.
The only solace I had was in knowing my pidge had defied the odds before. The doctors said she was going to die, and she didn’t. Now they said she’d never have a normal life because she was bound to a wheelchair, but they were wrong again. They had to be, because Ava-Marie wasn’t like other people. The rules of physics— hell, the rules ofmagic— didn’t apply to a soul as special as hers.
Once classes started up again, I was forced to leave Ava’s side daily. The nurses wouldn’t let me sleep in the hospital anymore, and the Warden had ordered me back to my factory shift. It was absolutely maddening being forced to stay in our cell alone, and go through the motions every day, knowing Ava was enduring some sort of treatment by herself. Her discomfort, both physical and emotional, came through often, and it made it hard to pay attention to what the professors were saying, even though I could tell she was trying to block it from me. I’d made Oberi stay with Ava, because she needed our Familiar more, but damn if I didn’t feel lonely every second I wasn’t visiting her.
I didn’t want to be away from Ava, but if I didn’t play along and do as the Warden wanted, he’d take me away from her for good.
I wasn’t going to let that happen. So, naturally, I began scheming on how to solve this problem permanently. Ava couldn’t be moved out of the hospital just yet, but once I knew she was stable, nothing could stop me from protecting my girl.
I met with Takahashi for required counseling the first week of the semester. He’d asked us to meet in Professor Hemlock’s classroom. Ava was asleep in the hospital, so Oberi was with me in her unicorn form. Kallie and Marcus were already there when I arrived.
“Thank you for meeting me here,” Takahashi said calmly. “It’s safest if we meet here from now on. Follow me.”
Takahashi led us across the room. I wasn’t sure where we were going, until I felt a shift in the air when he led us through a doorway. A tingle spread over my skin, like we’d just passed through a magical barrier.
“Professor Hemlock’s illusion room is the perfect place to meet,” Marcus said. “The Warden won’t be able to hear us here.”
“Yes,” Takahashi agreed. “That detail is critical, due to the topics we’ll be covering in our meetings.”
“Which is what, exactly?” I asked.
“Demigod lessons, of course,” Takahashi said. “Please, have a seat. We have much to discuss.”
Oberi guided me forward, until my hands felt the smooth wood of a chair. I sat next to Marcus.
“I trust that the keys you’ve obtained are safe,” Takahashi started.
We’d hidden the keys in the Lair, inside a magical chest Kallie created with her illusion magic. Even if the Warden found the Lair, he wouldn’t be able to get inside the chest. She’d enchanted it so only one of the four of us could open it.
“No one will find them,” I confirmed. “Perhaps it’s best you don’t know, so the Warden can’t torture you for information.”
“That’s a wise decision, Mister Wahkin, as the keys are meant for the demigods alone,” Takahashi said. “For the time being, the Warden doesn’t know I’m on your side. I suspect he believes me to be a neutral party, and more or less assumes I don’t know what’s going on here at the Institute. That’s good, because he thinks I’m easily manipulated. We can use that to our advantage. The Warden has permitted me to return as your counselor, under strict orders that I report everything covered in our sessions. Of course, I have no intention of doing that, and I will be forging my notes to lead him astray. But I must be careful. People on his side have already died, and I intend to assist you as long as possible.”
“Who’s died?” Kallie asked, taking on a diplomatic tone.
