I took a deep breath, to try and calm myself. “I’m not sure this is what I want.”
“Thisiswhat you want. You just aren’t willing to admit it,” Magdalina insisted. “You have no interest in power, but once you are in that role, you willshine, Emmaline. You are merely terrified of what destiny requires of you, but fear aside, you must face it.”
“What about my prophecy?” I fumed. “We get rid of Gabby, and then Malovia loses yet another queen? Because I’m going to cork off before I’ll have a shot to make my mark on the country, and we both know it. My prophecy speaks of my death.”
“You still have two more winters before your time comes. Think of thegoodyou could do in that time. So much could change for Malovia under your guidance. The country needs a kind queen, not a cruel one, and you can be her savior,” she insisted.
My voice wobbled. “And then what? Because we both know how this ends.”
“Ethan will keep the crown, even in your absence. There is no better position you could put him in,” Magdalina said gently. “Think of your friends, your family. This is the best way to prepare them for what’s to come. They will be taken care of, and protected by the crown. You can’t afford to throw away such an opportunity.”
Her words spoke of sense. I wouldn’t be alive to defend my loved ones forever.
But thethronewould. If I wanted my friends, my family—my mate— to stay alive, they needed to be in positions of power.
“You already know that you will become a martyr,” Magdalina went on. “Why not give the people a queen to worship once you are gone? Live a legacy that Malovia can honor and admire. Change their minds on things that have divided us before. Then, when you are no longer alive, Malovia will continue to follow your example. Your power then, even in death, will be unstoppable. You will have practically become a goddess in martyrdom.”
“Greatness isn’t something I aspire to.”
“Poppycock,” Magdalina spat. “You lost your chance at greatness once before, because Gabby took it from you. Do not allow her to do so again.”
Tears welled up in me so quickly that I was nearly shocked at their appearance. HowdareMagdalina bring up what Gabby had done? Her ruining my leg and ending my skating career had by far been the most difficult and painful thing I’d ever gone through.
“I don’t mention this to hurt you,” Lady Magdalina said. “Only to remind you of what needs to be done. Not only for Malovia— but for your heart, Emmaline. You care for the fae, and you are what this country needs.”
“But what doIneed?” I pleaded with her. “What is it thatIwant?”
“That’s a question you’ll have to answer for yourself,” Lady Magdalina replied. “When you have discovered your answer, you will know where to find me.”
She waltzed away. I made my way up to my dormitory. Once there, I flung my sword into my closet and began ripping off clothes. I took a hot shower, slicking off all the grime from the battle, rubbing my skin raw. Even after my body was clean, I could still feel the hot stickiness of the blood on me, eating away at my soul.
After dressing, I huffed and fell on my bed with a sigh. No matter what lay ahead, I wanted a few hours of sleep before I dealt with it.
Ethan didn’t check in— he was giving me space.
I didn’t get up until dinnertime that evening. When I awoke, I nearly cried out. In my bones was a tiredness neither sleep nor rest could satisfy. Every muscle of my body felt like it had been mashed underneath a dragon’s foot. Sitting upright almost caused me to pass out. I was in so much pain.
I gritted my teeth, and forced myself to bear it. I couldn’t lay in bed for the rest of my life, after all. There were things to be done.
I struggled through the discomfort as I touched the top of my head. Tygrys had braided my hair into a crown while I was sleeping. The cheeky shit. I didn’t bother to take it out, because it seemed like he was proud of his work.
I was hungry. I didn’t think the dining hall was open after last night, and most of the places in Dolinska were probably closed once the catacombs had caved in. I resolved to head to my grandparents’ house, certain they’d have some sort of food— and maybe advice.
Finlay hadn’t lied about Dolinska being in chaos. Fae were running around like mad, trying to find family members and rushing to help repair the cave-ins on the other side of the city. I wanted to help, but I felt so weak that I knew I would just get in the way. Nobody needed to be tending to me when they were looking for lost loved ones.
I didn’t even knock when I got to my grandparents’ house, just let myself in.
Arthur was there, thank the gods. He was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book. His eyes flashed nervously to Babcia, who was stirring potato soup on the stove, and Bapa, who was smoking a pipe on the other side of the table.
“Ah, so her highness finally arrives,” Babcia said as she ladeled soup into bowls. “I was wondering how long it’d take for you to show up, though I expected it to be with a full entourage and a gilded carriage.”
I plopped myself down next to Arthur and gave him a glare that should’ve set his ginger hair on fire. “You told them, didn’t you?”
Arthur’s ears burned. “They got it out of me! You know how they are!”
I couldn’t blame Arthur too badly. My grandparents could squeeze information out of a puckered asshole.
Babcia placed soup before me. I began shoveling it into my mouth, despite it being piping hot, because I was starving. Babcia made thebestpotato soup— it was golden in color, loaded with cheddar, bacon, garlic and herbs. It sated my empty stomach, and I felt a little less ferocious.
